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Hi wannabemermaid. I'm sorry to hear about your accident. Imagining being in a halo makes me feel tense already. I'm glad you recovered fully. It sounds like you have a lot of dissonance about seeking treatment, and your ending of this post is that no distance close would seem safe for...

@watundah , I've done some of this work, on and off, throughout my therapy. I also have a silent inner child... mostly. I also sometimes get frustrated with the made up parts of it. One thing that helped me is changing the wording, inner child sounds very weird/overdone to me (seems like you...

Saw my counselor yesterday. I'm so glad for her. She talked with me a lot about this and challenged me too. I can get really intellectual in defending myself, along the lines of 'fear of suicide is a construct they, major religions/society, sell so people try harder.' She was like, 'You...

Sorry to hear that @JEKBreatheandBelieve . I hope that your desire to have help puts out the energy to the universe to send you someone who doesn't suck and quickly.

Yea, I agree with you Ed. Sometimes I think it would help to have a diagnosis so I could understand things more. I also get some of the reasoning behind holding back; I obsess a lot. My counselor/bodyworker talk a lot about how this 'problem-oriented' mentality holds people back in their...

@Ed Norton , thanks for the quick answer. I definitely felt flooded. I don't know about the schizotypal; my therapist doesn't like to discuss diagnoses with me (and doesn't have to because I typically pay out of pocket rather than billing insurance). @Stickler , thanks. It was tough. I did...

Okay, what background is helpful: -I have a diagnosis of ADNOS, couple of incidents of capital T trauma, and attachment issues. -I sometimes, in the past, have struggled with some non-real thinking. It's mostly about things controlling me and my direction; it sometimes brings up...

My sensitivities are a bit odd too. When my T moved to her home office, she text to say they hadn't finished installing the hallway door (the office door was one) that blocked out the rest of her home and there was just a plastic drape and if I didn't want to come, she understood. I'm really...

Tui Na is excellent. I have had it 3x and have done it alongside acupuncture. It's great that the practitioner has trauma knowledge/skills. It's very gentle, non-invasive (you're clothed), and a really good way to introduce/work on calm with touch, which is a trigger for me. It also can...

@barefoot , I had a similar thing happen too. I too had moved just past crisis-mode and requested a call, we scheduled a time, she never called. Next day sh*t was still going down, we scheduled; this time, I called and no one picked up. Honestly, it was really difficult for me to get past...

@Panda Bear , Reading your post it sounds like a few concepts got tied in to doing the EMDR besides just trying it, and the werid intimidating-ness, at least for me, because there's a machine involved and people insist it works almost magically well. It sounds like your T guessed at future...

Yes, I was sexually assaulted by an ex and I currently take judo classes. The dojo I go to is great and the teacher is also a yoga teacher so he integrates a lot of breathwork in to class. Sometimes, we stop mid class to do a breath exercise called shi-go-q, I don't know the actual spelling...

@barefoot , that does sound like a surreal situation. It would be strange in general to invite a neighbor over and then have her randomly share so much, but I guess understandable that people have a hard time, but that situation just got more out there. She sounds a bit overly people-pleasing...

I've done a serious search twice. The first therapist was #17; the second was #7 (but she didn't last long). I start with method. EMDR the first time, Hakomi or Somatic Experiencing the second time. All three of those methods are inherently trauma-oriented so I don't usually have to screen...

Yea. You're totally right Shimmerz; this is crucial with energy work. I went to some real weirdos before I found my teacher and it can be really destabilizing to do this kind of work with someone who's not a good fit.

Following what jojo said, any kind of grounding that seems right for you should work to bring your energy back down. The woman I get reiki from, who also counsels and teaches meditation, will have me visualize roots reaching in to the ground from my legs or tailbone. For the chakra piece, you...

@shimmerz , said my point. Working with your higher chakras can trigger dissociation (especially the crown chakra, that's your connection to a higher power). Without being fully present, connecting to a higher power can be confusing. Sometimes upper energy work/meditations make me nauseous...

@Dana1010 , you're probably right about your therapist needing not to be looked at since that's something you're intuiting and that's why Freud used the couch in the first place. I'm glad you gave it a try. It's cool that you could have the option to go back to if you wanted, but I hope for...

I'm so interested by this. You've found a rare one. How long have you been with this therapist? What are your goals? (Feel free to be as general as you wish). Did she give you a good reason besides 'it's easier' that she wants to do this? I mean, I'm sure you googled it but it's old school...

I don't have the same dynamic with stranger sex vs. strangers in general, although, I do get attached to people I hardly know. But I have had the experience of recognizing a lack of physical contact. Almost four years ago, I went to a training for a wilderness medicine certification. There...

@Katiee_co , that's a really tough assignment. It makes sense that you're still feeling things out with your therapist, especially having had a past unhealthy experience with one. Also, I don't know how realistic it is to have someone anticipate when they'll be ready to talk about their...

@shimmerz , the book, The Gift of Fear, has some very insightful info about how to come off more assertively and what kind of actions may be seen as receptive when someone is targeting you. It's got some really clear passages about boundaries too.

Current T lets me call or text between sessions (I'll generally text and set up a call; those are usually short 5-10 min.). I can email any time and she'll write some kind of response indicating it's been read but she doesn't send anything long back.

Good luck. I'm glad you're taking the dog. Consider asking for a hug, she might say yes and you'd be showing how much she means to you by risking the asking.

Psychology Today has therapist listings and a search tool. You can look up folks by many different categories. Consider looking up someone who specializes in trauma; they're the one's who will be able to provide resources for dissociation and dissociative episodes. There's a part of the...