What Do You Look For In A Therapist?

[Myanxietyhasanxiety]

I've been in therapy off and on since I was 20 (now 35) but I was living in different states than I am now. I have a therapist in my current state, she's wonderful and sweet but I think I need to look into something different.

Pretty sure I suffer from C-PTSD. Even though thats not technically a diagnosis, i think it helps explain its not one signular event. I was diagnosed with PTSD after my Combat tour & symptoms began to significantly manifest years later while in a relationship with a diagnosed Narrassist. The Tramatic events started as early as childhood.

I have been to therapy where I left feeling more traumatized than when I started. That's why I have been hesitant to start anew. My therapist is sweet, and very safe, but I also feel more like I'm paying a friend to sit on her couch and chat. No goals, no real direction, just a once a week life update with little back from her.

So I'm therapist shopping. Have you done this? If so, what kinds of things do you look for? What's something your therapist does that you feel is helpful or not helpful?

 

[WillyKat]

After having a couple of very bad Ts, my advice is to shop around. Find at least two qualified psychologists in your area and interview them. Let them know you're looking for the best fit for you.

You can check out their licensing and education on the web. Sometimes there are reviews, but I'm not so sure reviews should be taken too seriously. About the only reviews available might be negative because people that like their T may not feel like reviewing them on the web, and those that don't might be...like...you know...crazy. It might be them.

I recommend psychologists rather than psychiatrists simply because they get more and better training in how to communicate w/ clients. Psychiatrists are MDs that get comparatively little training in talking. Your psychologist can always refer you to a psychiatrist if you both feel you would benefit from meds. Make sure those you see specialize in treating trauma victims.

Let them know your shopping. Remember, they work for you, not the other way around.

Tell them your looking for someone with which you have good chemistry, feel comfortable with, trust.

All this will increase the odds of you finding a good T that you can be successful with. But its of course not a guarantee.

Good luck.

 

[Friday]

- Education/ Experience/ Background
- Clarity. That when they speak they cut through my bullshit.
- Familiarity with at least one area of my BigBad stuff. Ideally, that's their normal.
- Not big on sympathy/validation. I was there. I know it sucked. Moving on.
- Humor
- Willing to piss me off
- Knows their shit
- Honesty
- Non-standard session times (If we're gonna do this? Let's f*cking thrash it out and do this. Like right now.) Most Ts do the 50min thing. I am particularly fond of ones that have 10min-4hour slots and book times based on what's actually being worked on.

 

[Ronin]

I look for:

- Education
- Experience
- Willingness to learn
- Familiarity with trauma
- Respectful of boundaries
- Honesty
- Available for contact in non-standard times / outside of office hours

I also shortened the list to: Won't abuse me - which is why I haven't had a proper therapist for a while.

 

[Chava]

I totally switched modalities from talk-centered to body-centered therapy. That was major for me (and very helpful)...primarily Somatic Experiencing, though my therapist has a lot of training in body-oriented methods for working with trauma.

So you might consider different forms of therapy, your goals and what kind of therapy might work best, and then the specific therapists available and their background/training. Then, if possible, a phone interview or informal first meeting to go over your basic history and goals and hear how the therapy might be a fit for you.

 

[Biz]

I've done a serious search twice. The first therapist was #17; the second was #7 (but she didn't last long).

I start with method. EMDR the first time, Hakomi or Somatic Experiencing the second time. All three of those methods are inherently trauma-oriented so I don't usually have to screen out for trauma experience (although I'll ask if I think they're not being trauma sensitive). Then, I use psychology today's therapist listings to find every person in my area who do those methods, read their profile, eliminate those with less than 5 yrs. experience (this was a recommendation from a former therapist that I've stuck with. I think experienced folks freak out less about the SI), and start with the most promising. I try to schedule an initial, abbreviated session either for free or pro-rated. It usually takes me 10 min. or less to know if I feel comfortable.

A good fit is so important. I hope you're able to find someone!

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I'm not sure how to screen a therapist for this, but one of the most important things for me is the ability to contain me.

I'm not even sure how to explain that, other than I need to be able to fall apart in front of them without them overreacting, with the therapist offering enough compassion and enough humanity to make me feel cared for, but not overstepping and making me feel infantilized. I need to feel comfortable talking to them without worrying about their reaction, but also know that if need be, the therapist will make the appropriate calls to keep me safe.

So ... containment. Plus trauma experience/supervision. Evidence-based practices. And then there is just the feeling that I connect with the person, that there isn't any weird chemistry and that we aren't too similar to one another as to feel competitive.

 

[Panda Bear]

Humor....I can be snyde and scary at times
Ability to handle my BS....it runs deep
Not afraid, won't or can't be scared off by my attachment issues
Trauma educated....but also experience and or willingness to adapt or learn
Available......allows out of office contact. Email mainly
Connection, trust, stability, ability to be wrong....I needed what I didn't have growing up.
Shared religion....yes, they needed to have biblical knowledge.

But...with that said, when I first started therapy, I knew nothing and assumed it was everybody else's fault. None of these applied at the time.

I landed in the office of one man...the right man...he was a shot deal, if he couldn't fulfill all those needs, I never would have stuck around. Neither of us knew that at the time.

Call me crazy. But God had a hand in this, His hand is all over my journey to heal. I hope you can find the right person to help you heal.