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You rose because you are strong! And it sounds like you are a fighter, pushing yourself towards not letting these issues control your life. And it is possible. You have a keen sense of awareness of when the symptoms are getting to you, which is proof of your growth. Keep growing and moving...

First, kudos to you finding ways to cope in such a stressful environment. Second, perhaps focus more on lower body "work outs' like walking, hiking, running. Maybe list out activities and try to do a 60/40 split (60% requiring lower body muscles and only 40% of upper body). Staying outside...

I agree with those who've responded already, talk to the therapist. From a psychology background and personal experience, holding this kind of stuff in can eat at you from the inside out. You have a safe place to work through this and I strongly encourage you to use it. You can be guided in...

It's okay. Deep breath. Our minds and bodies weren't made to go 100 miles per hour 24/7. We need and have to rest. Sometimes our mind or body does that for us, through anxiety, illness, injury, etc. Instead of feeling like you've wasted a day, count it as self-care. You might even start...

Trauma often brings unwarranted shame, through a lot of what if games we play with ourselves. The hardest thing, at least for me, was to learn that I was not in control, regardless of why (age, physical or emotional restraint, etc.) The therapist hopefully will guide you through this process...

Please know you are not alone in how you are feeling. Many are struggling, some who've never experienced depression before to those of us who struggle often. I can relate. I have had days of no energy, why should I, what's the point. But something deep down reminds me I need to keep going...

So sorry you are in this place. It does get old, but it can also get better. Keep doing the best you can each day and one day you hopefully will look back and see how far you've come. You can do this. Yes, it's hard, but it's doable. Prayers for peace, strength and guidance on your path.

I love Bellbird's ideas - make it as different as you can. I might add rearranging furniture if able. You might try some journaling to help express the feelings. When the pandemic is passed, please consider counseling. It can help you learn to cope and overcome the trauma. Prayers for peace...

First, your writing is pretty good. It's clear and conveys feeling and imagery. So I would suggest letting that concern go. Second, journaling is quite therapeutic. It allows us to express those feelings in a safe place. You hit the mark when you said you could go back and read for yourself...

Well, hmm. On one hand it's good to accept that ptsd is part of who we are. But on the other hand, it's not good to let it control us. I don't know of ptsd is truly treatable or fixable, but what therapy did for me is provide tools to cope so I could function better with it. It's kind of like...

Welcome osiris! Yes, exposing ourselves can be scary, but here's the cool thing about doing it here - we don't really know who you are. There's usually no judgment, just a safe place to share and find support. Go at your own pace and only share what you feel comfortable with. Prayers for...

I randomly I have dreams that send me into a crying state when I wake up they aren't really bad just dreams of memories that I It kind of sounds like your mind is purging some old memories. You've worked through the emotion, or perhaps working through them via the dreams. And then something...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Well deserved. Prayers for wisdom as you move forward in this next chapter of your life.

Oh, ok, sorry to assume that. Some guilt is normal, but I think you are doing what's best for you.

It kind of sounds like a manic episode. I'm wondering if you've sought therapy, and if not, perhaps should. In the meantime, consider setting timers for time to study and time to read the help books. IE. Study for 30 mins, read for 30 mins. Try to think of the reading as a reward for...

You've probably made some close acquaintances that make it hard to leave. But people change jobs all the time. It's a better environment emotionally, but there will be some relationships in the rural area that you'll likely miss. It's normal and okay to feel a bit guilty, but stick to your...

I guess what helped me get through it was to go through it, if that makes sense. I had to allow myself to grieve each loss, get through the stages of grief, then I was able to move forward again. I cried some, journaled, wrote letters that were never mailed, screamed into pillows, whatever it...

It sounds as though your brain has decided to come back to life, so to speak. But it's been a while, and it's out of practice and lacking some self-restraint and balance. Give yourself some time to get back into a balance of feeling and expressing these feelings. It's a big step in growth so...

It kind of sounds like you are very talented but uncomfortable in your own skin. Perhaps instead of trying to define it, just be. You are alive, which means you have a purpose in this world. It may take time to find it, years, decades even, but most likely you'll know it when it happens. For...

I've been there and it took some time to figure out. It helped to know I locked the door, checked the windows, set the alarm, etc. I then had to tell myself I've done what I can and I can't control what others do. I can only control what I do. I happen to be Christian, so I would ask God to...

So sorry for the struggle. Life can deal some hard blows sometimes. Sometimes therapy works like healing a cold. It starts out with just a sniffle, then congestion, a cough, sore throat, and keeps building so your dealing with all of the symptoms. But then they start to disappear as the cold...

Well, hmmm. Not sure I can add much to BlackEmerald1's response. Great job BlackEmerald1! As for you, the jest of what I see is a growing, changing relationship with your child. Kids are resilient and they usually adjust to change better than adults. Hang in there and relish the times...

Sounds like you are finding great coping skills. Caffeine can exaggerated anxiety, so good call on that. The 'worry stone' is a good idea. Perhaps a next step would be to work on a mantra to repeat to yourself (either out loud or in your head, depending on where you are). My faith helps me a...

First, KUDOS on going out. A couple of hours is great. When you say physically numb do you actually mean you can't feel parts of your body or did you emotionally. The numbness is a symptom of dpdr. If that is your diagnosis, and you are engaged in a treatment plan, it will improve over time...

Sorry for the difficult past and the triggering that occurred recently. We can't always avoid every mention of things that to us were painful, but to others may not have been. We can learn to cope and do some self-care to get us back on track. Part of the self-care could be to talk it out...