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I’m not going to lie that’s something I really want to do. To give up and go numb. To detach myself and retraumatize myself because I think I deserve because I feel like a liar because my memories aren’t here. And if I create more trauma either then I’ll finally have something for someone to...

After talking with a fellow member I’ve been trying to be more compassionate to younger me, and she opened up to me. She said “I feel sad again, about my friend not being home in the morning. (she just got in a relationship this past year and when she moved in with us over time she started...

my parents were okay with affection but I was very touch deprived as a kid. Then the groomer came along to I guess rescue me from the physical and emotional abuse in my household. Only to hurt me as well. I guess that’s why my younger self probably long for affection because I didn’t get it much...

I guess so, I don’t really like my younger self. I know it isn’t her fault and I shouldn’t blame her, but I do. I wish she did more to protect us and my siblings. And I can’t see why she would want a female friend so bad or why she longs for affection from them. Especially when females were the...

I’ll definitely check out these books. I love reading about things similar to the inner child theory.

Idk it’s selfish and I would rather keep our friendship as it is than lose over something that might pass. Especially since I’m not in love with her nor do I necessarily think this is romantic interest. May I ask, how would I do this? How do I not lump them together. Am I supposed experiment to...

I think it matters in the sense of triggering myself. My main abuser was female. I’m not sure how far it went but I know I keep getting warning signs that the grooming that I’m told happened by siblings could’ve went further to abuse. Whenever I read about finger penetration or heavy breathing...

I previously posted about wanting to be affectionate with my friend. Though I realized it was due to being a trauma state after a falling out with my previous therapist that I had negative transference with, it did make me wonder if I do like girls or not, and if I do have a crush on my best...

Just rented that book myself. I just started Courage to Heal, if you read it do you think it’s worth the read or does The Score book emphasizes more? What did you enjoy most about the book? I haven’t heard those before. May I ask what are they about and what did you like about them?

I thought it will be cool to list books that helped in your journey to healing. It can be any book that somehow benefitTed you. Rather it be “Sexual Healing” or a fictional book that helped give you a new perspective on life. After listing the book describe what what you were feeling before...

Thank you :)

Yeah, I was looking for an energy that was different than my own. Different from a quiet submissive nature. So when my EMDR therapist demostrated this I was put off. However, maybe this is a good thing. Maybe I need someone I can’t develop transference with. Though I might be confusing...

I guess more than belonging to myself. Though I need to work on self acceptance, I think it’s separate from belonging. Belonging for me is being able to be in a place where you don’t feel alone, not literally but more of a sense of connections. I feel as though the connections I’ve made so far...

I relate completely to the transference with teachers. I always thought it meant I liked girls due to the large amounts of transference I had with my teachers. However, I realized recently that wasn’t the case at all but due to my groomer being female. I agree that transference is related to...

I was relooking at my post to motivate myself, and didn’t realize I never replied to this. I’m sorry for that. But definitely relate to the transference. For me it was more negative transference when triggered I she would act like a past groomer (don’t want to say abuser due to repressing...

The dependency is starting to weaken. I started opening up to my sister. She helped me realize I can still be friends with her but can’t give everything for her. Dropping everything and putting all my emotions into the relationship where she’s not able to reciprocate. I no longer feel the need...

I relate to dropping books I have a few coming in and I know I’m only going to read like one, and maybe glance at the others. But the lack of control and trying to regain it has been something I’ve been fighting with for too long. I was so use to being in a learned helplessness state that when...

I haven’t seen many things that’s considered horror. Unless alien movies like “Nope” and “A Quiet Place” is horror now. But even then they’re not really scary. Thrillers are my favorite too. I’m more scared of things that could happen then I am of the supernatural. Also Post restaurant. Flowers...

Thank you, genuinely thank you for this. It feels when I have steps to take. It makes things feel less daunting. I’m really happy I found this community. 🤦🏽‍♀️ is it bad that I only do the achievements one because I’m too much of a perfectionist not to do something. However, ever after reaching...

Thanks OliveJewel, I’m going to do a little reflection now on what triggered my disorganized attachment to go from complete independence of not relying on anyone to emotionally dependent with my friend. Listing which one of seven I’m struggling with and the habits I replace with is definitely...

I don't really like my inner self that much. Self-criticism has died down greatly since I started therapy, and I do give myself praise. Though I still think I'm defective and weird. Generally, my relationship with myself is a middle ground. Neither hate nor like me. I started to go against my...

Socks, why thriller? Books adaptations or movie remakes?

Chocolate, less stuff in between my teeth. Though I do love Sweet and Salty Popcorn Thriller or Horror?

I'm balanced between being an extrovert and an introvert. I enjoy hanging out in person and building relationships, or staying home and hanging out. Virtual is okay, but it's not the same for me. Though people here do understand. I might ask my EMDR therapist if she knows any in-person support...

Running Jump of course lol Television Shows or Movies?