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Yes!! I've read stuff I've written, and when I don't think I can read it out loud to him, I'll hand it to him and he'll read it so we can talk about it. I also email him. I am so grateful that he is open to receiving my info any way I get it to him. It really helps me a lot and without it, I...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how hard it is because I'm struggling too. Those nagging feelings, bad memories and deep wounds do not go away. We can bury them, try to forget about them, but they will fester and eventually come out again and often worse. Your shoulders can...

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. We lost our cat Sunday night. It's horrible. And yes, the house is so quiet without him.

Deep breathing (box breathing) helps me a lot. It's amazing how it will settle your mind. Everyone's different, but it helps me a lot.

I just did this, and it was irritating. The timer thing was too long. I completed the whole thing, and ended up just scrolling on my phone while I waited to be able to go to the next screen.

I've been struggling with this for years. I go long stretches where I don't do it, then I go back to it again. It's a coping mechanism. What has helped me the most is therapy. I found an excellent trauma therapist, and he is so helpful and supportive. I work with him to find healthier coping...

Yep, what Weemie said..

They say trauma is trauma, and we don't need to be comparing it to each other. I think the torture is like that too. Torture is trauma. I'm on a long road trying to deal with everything that was done to me over a 20+ year period. Having support here is such a precious and amazing thing. No one...

Both my adult son and I are using Gabapentin. I started out with just Buspar, but I can only take lower doses of it. So we added the Gabapentin. It works great for anxiety. I'm taking 400mg 3 times a day, and I'll take an extra one if I'm feeling anxious throughout the day. I hate taking meds...

I don't cry either. I hold it all in, and I bury all the trauma, emotions, and pain. I know that's bad, but I've been working on that with my therapist. I've been in therapy 4 years now, 2.5 with my current therapist. I finally cried a little bit in front of him for the first time about a month...

That's why I love this place, there's so much support here! Thank you @Weemie and @Freida

I've never told anyone. I've told my therapist a little bit, but not much. I don't say the word torture, but that's what it was. This thread is a good thing, and I'm grateful that it's here so we can talk about it if we need/want to. It's so hard for me to say, "I was tortured." Just like I've...

Hello, I'm sorry you're going through this. When you quit your two jobs, did you give your 2 week notice? If you didn't, then you probably won't get a good referral. If you're ready to go back to work, then you could start by working through registry. Do you have a therapist to talk to? Have...

I have an excellent trauma therapist. We don't work with touch at all, and I know I'd never want touch. The somatic part he does is having me check in with my body and where I feel emotions in my body when I'm experiencing difficult emotions and flashbacks. Sometimes he'll ask, "If that feeling...

In the US, the system treats the victim horribly. My abuser has violated the restraining order countless times. Most recently he had a "friend" of his drop off a letter addressed to me. My adult son answered the door and this "friend" threatened my son and us and by the time I made it down the...

I've been through a lot of abuse, and I can relate to not wanting to confront this man. I also agree that you shouldn't have to. It's so scary to do that when you've been abused and you have fear of being hurt because of it. Yes you'll need to learn to stand up for yourself, but it's incredibly...

I ate lunch today.

... I think you summed it up here. It sounds like she doesn't get it, and that's not good. ... I don't think you're lazy. You're trying to cope. We all have coping mechanisms, and most of them are not good until we start to work on using better ones. I'm also wondering if this therapist is...

EMDR does not work for everyone. That being said, it also takes time to get used to it and see if it's going to work. I've been doing it for almost 2 years now. I started with the hand movements, but it was hard to follow and think about the memory. When we switched to the buzzers, it made it...

I'm sorry to hear that. I know it doesn't work for everyone.

I've done EMDR for 2 years now. I have a lot of different traumas, including SA. I can't talk about the really bad stuff, especially the stuff you're mentioning here. I can't even go there yet. When the buzzers stop and my therapist asks me "what are you getting?" I often don't have words...

Yep, me too. It sucks

Hi Hot~tea, I have several tats, and they are all related to my healing journey and have specific meaning and stories behind them. I even have a plan for a tattoo when I'm further along in my healing. I have one that says Warrior, and it's in a 'distressed' font. It's a little beat up, but...

My therapist tells me to think about the difference between I feel safe and I am safe. If I don't feel safe, then I'm supposed to think about what triggered that feeling and if I can see the difference between that and telling myself that I am safe. It hasn't helped a lot yet, but a couple of...

When I don't know what to talk about, my therapist is really good at asking questions to prompt me. I've never felt like I needed to come up with something to talk about.