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Okay this is just ummm.... my traumatized brain right now can't really write or think very well so it MIGHT go over the whole place, bear with me here. I'm in a depression spiral again. It's been a month since a family tragedy and it's thanksgiving today and I'm honestly feeling like I have...

We had something happen in my family and someone died. I had an interview (three interviews in the next week) and in typical Jen fashion decided to go to the interview instead of the funeral in another province. I didn't think I could handle the grief of the family. I kind of wanted it to be on...

So, something I've begun to notice that happens when my anxiety is acting up is that it manifests itself through me biting my lip. (One corner inside anyway.) then it starts to hurt, and then I can't stop. It's a nervous habit, kind of like nail biting, only lip biting for me only happens in...

I really don't get it. I know I'm warped. I was in an abusive relationship for three years and broke it off in March. I initiated No Contact, and it's been going well: he hasn't contacted me; but I still have that fear. I know that if I were to see him today though, I would want to both hurt...

Okay, here goes. Damnit. So I broke up with my boyfriend of three years a few days ago; after coming to the realization that what he was doing to me was not a normal relationship. I'm getting support at school, nada from my parents. "He was always nice to you. Why didn't you just get up and...

Ugh. God damnit. Another counsellor. Another "let's find out what the issue is" I give up. I'll have a friend call my psychiatrist and my counsellor and tell them I died or something. I am so sick of having to meet new people who have to pretend to give a shit and listen to me go on about my...

Okay, so here goes. I'm not an addict. Still, the psychiatrist prescribed me with Prozac (40mg) about 3 years ago. And it works. When I skip a dose, my flashbacks are worse, and I have more intrusive thoughts. That being said; I kind of wish I didn't have to take it. Could it be considered a...

I'm usually good with managing flashbacks-when I feel them coming on. Then I can get myself to a safe place and cry it out. The problem for me is what I call "snapshot/slideshow" flashbacks. They are visual and come in pictures. It flickers like a projector from scene to scene, and in between...

I can't stop crying. I'm so tired of this. I hate my flashbacks, other people hate my bluntness. I can't handle this. I hate people. I hate them trying to tell me who to be to accommodate them. They tell me I delude myself into thinking everybody's going to take care of me and I'll be stuck in...

Anyone know that Johnny Cash song? I'm trying to make light of it, but it's not really working. I've been stressed since the suicide training thing I went to. I can't concentrate in class, I can't sleep, and for some reason, I can't even cry. I just feel numb, and yet, I feel like cutting...

The title says it all. At school there's a yearly suicide awareness training, how to talk to someone suicidal, how to recognize signs, and how to help someone who is suicidal. I've been wanting to go to the training for the past three years, but I've always been too triggered. So I decided that...

So, ummm... I don't know how to start off, so I'll just say it. I recently started a relationship (Since December). I like my boyfriend. We haven't had sex, yes we've touched each other, it was consensual. He's my first boyfriend, so I don't know whether this is healthy or not. I've never...

So, I recently have started trying to process some memories which are quite difficult to deal with. Anyway, a few minutes ago I scraped myself in the car (I don't know how) but it hurt, but it kind of gave me an adrenaline rush, and I knew if I was badly dissociated or something, that ow feeling...

So I'm having a problem right now. It's kind of relating to the idea of finding it hard to articulate things when triggered. (That was a poll question a while back) Anyway, I'm doing an essay on self harm in books I'm reading, and I'm having a hard time articulating myself. It's due today, a...

Okay, I'm so happy with myself. I never write about my anxiety on Facebook, but I actually did post this one thing, 'cause I was so proud of myself. Of course I didn't go into the nitty gritty details like I'm going to here, but still, those who knew me knew what I was talking about. So, I'm in...

My parents went off to England last night. I've been begging them not to go. I couldn't make them stay home with me. I know they deserve a vacation, but I'm just really needing help right now. My anxiety's up, like way, way, way up, and then to have this happen makes me scared too. I've also...

Dang it. I'm so mad and annoyed right now. I know they're "trying to keep me safe" or whatever, but I'm seriously annoyed. So, I have had flashbacks in school- not a huge surprise; but this year one of the teachers emailed the disability services office, noticed I was in her class, and said...

I've been thinking about this for a long time, but I was wondering if PTSD was connected at all to the amount of reading people do. I'm a big reader, I'm an English major so I have to read stuff for school obviously, but I also use it as an escape. It's an addiction I think. More like a healthy...

So, what do you guys do when you read books which trigger you? Sometimes I read stuff that I have to for school and research, and I don't necessarily want to avoid reading this material... but is there a good way to ground myself when reading- keeping in mind that I am an English Literature...

This thread isn't about relationship problems, but more about relating to people. Does anybody else ever feel like the people they talk to some times must have bumped their head falling down the rabbit hole? I have a blog, and I wrote about trauma (in children's books; not my own) and I had a...

Okay, this is going to be really difficult to write, but read this before you think of suicide, please. There are two sides to every story. I know those who have posted on this thread have felt suicidal or like they couldn't go on at some point; but I'd like to say that there are people who...

I started this thread because of something I read on one of the Wikis. It said that we remember traumatic things easier than happy things. To that end, I'd like to share happy memories. Memories that make us smile are just as important as memories that made us numb or cry, maybe even more so. So...

I'm a PTSD sufferer. I've noticed that when I get anxious or I feel fuzzy, I often ask people if they are okay. Mainly it's because I want them to get the hint and ask me if I'm okay. I can't really tell people when I get triggered or when I'm anxious/on the verge of a flashback, I'm not able to...

This happens in times of high stress when my PTSD cup is already overflowing. Thursday was a really tough day for me. I was foggy, and my friends waved at me like "hello" and I looked at them confused. I remember saying "Where's my Mom? Where's my Mom?" I also think to myself when I'm...

I went to my English professor during her office hours alone. It was an oral presentation mark and it was for five percent of my grade. I remember crying after my meeting, but I must have done something right, because when I emailed her today saying that I didn't know if I showed up or not but I...