What Did I Get Myself Into? Suicide Training.

[Jen93]

The title says it all. At school there's a yearly suicide awareness training, how to talk to someone suicidal, how to recognize signs, and how to help someone who is suicidal. I've been wanting to go to the training for the past three years, but I've always been too triggered. So I decided that this year would be it.

So I'm really scared now, because I've finally signed up after three years of avoiding it. And I'm glad I did. If it happens again, I just know I need to be prepared. 'Cause stuff like that always seems to happen to me (with people telling me secrets about something that I can not handle/help with.)

I don't know what to do. I feel like backing out. But I can't. I really want to go. So the only thing I could come up with with the Student Accessibility Office is to pick a spot close to the door so I can duck out if I need to. Any tips on what to do though if I start feeling fuzzy? I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing. Am I risking re-traumatizing myself?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Crow]

I took peer suicide prevention training years ago. It was one of the best things I did at that time. Helped me wake up to my own behaviors.

A few things I do when I get triggered and my head gets fuzzy is I feel my feet and notice the breadth going in and out of my nose. Cold in. Warm out. Then I'll wiggle my toes and fingers to help stop the freeze response. If that isn't enough, I find where the anxiety is in my body. Give it a shape and color. Feel the chair I'm sitting in. Affirmations are helpful too but the body stuff works quick.

Sitting by the door is great. You have the choice to leave at any time. And you can even come back in if you feel better once you walk outside!

♡ Whatever you decide will be the right decision!

 

[The Albatross]

Though prodded for several years, I haven't done suicide prevention training though I've considered it as a volunteer commitment for a 24 hour hotline in our community. The closest I got was being a trauma intervention advocate. I learned a lot and got some real up close and personal new experiences.

You've put off something for a couple to a few years... you signed up... go for broke. There is always something to be gleaned from the experience.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

What might work is to rejoice - rejoice in yourself for being brave. Rejoice that you are trying to do something that is going to be of benefit of others instead of staying within yourself and your problems. All you can do is try and see what happens. I rejoice for you however it turns out.

 

[Jen93]

This could either be a great thing, or a disaster. I'm trying to keep an open mind and stay away from anxiety right now. I'm on the bus to get to school. I've decided not to back down, I'm actually surprising myself with this mood. Will let people know how it goes after.

I can't ground touching the floor, because my legs are too short. They just hang there on the air a few centimetres above the floor. Deep breathing's helping a lot. So is the fact that I made myself a "calm kit" with stuff I know will help. (Sour candy, water, my sock monkey Ron, and if worse comes to worse my Teddy bear. But I'm not taking that out unless it really gets bad.) That's helped to relieve my anxiety a bit- feeling prepared.

 

[The Albatross]

Use your spine. Feeling the back of the chair? Good on you Jen for having a strategy! Another tactic is to write down on a piece of paper why you are doing this training for yourself. As the course progresses you can take it out and read it as you need to. Don't forget to do breath work as needed?

 

[Jen93]

Suicide Alertness Training Completed....Go Me!

Okay I'm so excited. I'm seriously over the moon about this. I went to the suicide alert training; how to recognize and get help for someone with suicidal thoughts. I only had to leave the room once for about three-five minutes, and felt fuzzy for about fifteen in the course of an entire three hours. I grounded myself using tea and candy and a sock monkey. It's something I'd been meaning to get to for the past three years, but have been too triggered to do, and I finally went this year. I'm so glad I did it! :D I could've chickened out, but I didn't. Yay!

 

[Amalia]

huge leap, well done you!!

 

[shandemonium]

Yay!!!! Do something nice for yourself! you go girl!!!

PS
sock monkeys help in any situation i think ;p

 

[joeylittle]

@Jen93, that's awesome!!! :alien: (celebratory alien :))
Your whole story, from beginning to end on this one, is really an inspiring example of overcoming a major anxiety trigger; I joined your two posts together so people could read it start to finish!

 

[The Albatross]

Whoo hoo, and congratulations! Good for you. Now hang on to the experience and repeat the coping skills as necessary.

 

[Crow]

Way to go! And way to take care of yourself and keep things safe!