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How do I get my son with DID to open up to me.

TheWay

New Here
I believe my son, who is still in elementary school has DID. I have suspected it since he was 5 but have recently had more confirmation by things he's said and because I've seen a few of his alters or parts come out that I either have never seen or haven't seen in a while.

Here's what I believe based on everything I have experienced and been through with him since discovering some things when he was 4 years old. His DID was deliberately created by individuals who know how to use trauma to program young children. There is a post by an individual on here who has experienced this. My son has talked about being experimented on and described some of it, although it's been several years since he last talked about it. He was programmed for some kind of violence but he is not violent. He does have an obsession with violence, however. His attachment bond to me was also deliberately severed. Or at least they attempted to sever it, but they weren't completely successful.

I know who some of the people involved are. I've tried to go to the police with some of what I know, but I was not believed. Partly because my son recanted, partly because it sounds too crazy to be true.

Anyway, I want him to know that I love every part of him and that he can trust me to tell me stuff. He does see a therapist who is primarily focused on helping him emotionally regulate right now. He hasn't opened up enough with her for her to suspect DID yet and I am not going to tell her stuff that I see until he's ready to talk to her. He doesn't trust me enough yet because his father is one of them and has been part of the brainwashing experiments. He has planted that distrust that used to not exist before all this started. And I admit, I could have handled some things better when I first started realizing what was going on. I was in shock because I had no idea the level of evil his father was part of and very scared. So I acted out fear trying to protect my son. It all kind of blew up in my face.

So now I'm just focused on helping my son and helping him process what he's been through by trusting me enough to open up. How do I do that?
 
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I'm gonna be real with you here, mind control on the level that you're discussing has no grounding in science whatsoever. Your child as young as five barely has an identity, that is at the very beginning of ordinary development.

There could be any number of things genuinely wrong with this child, but you need to get off Tik Tok and stop consuming conspiracy theory nonsense. Your kid may have a real, legitimate issue, but you have no way of knowing if it's DID and it's unfair to him to assign that label when you have no evidence (i.e. assessments, data).

Tell the therapist all this stuff, they need to know what's going on in your head. The fact you are here saying you believe he has this positively nonsensical stuff going on, yet you're not going to tell the therapist - are you his mom or aren't you?
 
I'm just focused on helping my son and helping him process what he's been through by trusting me enough to open up. How do I do that?
My daughter also was suspected of having gone through some shit that I found out about when she was in elementary school. I wished I could pry it out of her but that’s an impossible task. My therapist said to just stay tuned into her, tell her I was there for her whenever she needed me, and then if she ever did tell me anything to stay neutral and validate it.

I think it’s good he has a T so you have a professional to talk to your fears about. Also I second getting a T for yourself because with your ex was doing all that shit I don’t know how you could process that on your own.
 
If any therapist or medical professional is going to diagnose a 4 year old with DID, they need to be struck off!

I have no idea what has gone on with your child as you don't say. But he has been in your care, has he not?

Are you in therapy?
I am worried you are projecting onto your son. And agree with others that sharing your thoughts about your son is going to help.
Are you open to reflecting on all of this?
 
From the kid's point of view, if he's had reason to learn that there are adults in the world that he shouldn't trust, his challenge is going to be sorting out the trustworthy from the untrustworthy. He might even decide that the safest approach is to trust no one. The best thing an adult could do would be to be 100% trustworthy and patient. (What @Rose White 's T was talking about.) In my experience, if someone is trying to pry information out of you, you're better off not to trust them. You don't know what their motives are. So maybe your best bet is to back off a little and let him be a kid. Be a safe, non-judgemental person in his life who accepts him for himself, with no other agenda. There are things a kid might not want to share with a parent because they are trying to protect their parent. I suppose that might be hard to accept, but I think it's better to accept and respect it. Let the therapist do their job. Have you asked his T how you can best help him at home?
 
@TheWay , it's hard for professionals to diagnose DID so I'm not really sure how you have made that diagnosis for your son. If you really suspect he may have it then it's your duty as his mother to inform the therapist so he can get the proper help he needs., like any other mother would when their child is ill with any illness or disorder.

"So now I'm just focused on helping my son and helping him process what he's been through by trusting me enough to open up." DID is beyond what you can help with and honestly you're just gonna f*ck that poor childs head up even more by trying to help him process what he's been through and playing armchair therapist.
 
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