I Don't Think My Life Has Ever Been This Hard.

[Jen93]

Okay, here goes. Damnit.

So I broke up with my boyfriend of three years a few days ago; after coming to the realization that what he was doing to me was not a normal relationship. I'm getting support at school, nada from my parents. "He was always nice to you. Why didn't you just get up and leave? You can still stay friends even if you broke up with him." Typical parents. They don't get it.

Anyway I'm feeling angry and having flashes of this (I think I'm processing so it doesn't become one of my traumas.) but I'm feeling numb. Like I want to, no NEED to cut. To feel something, to actually cry. I dunno.

Any suggestions?

 

[Heather]

@Jen93 As a former cutter I know what it's like to NEED TO cut and the feelings can be intense.

I don't know if I'm telling you something you already know but if you want to feel pain.....to get that release.....get an ice cube and put it in your hand and squeeze for as long and as hard as you can take it.

It will give you that intensity without harming yourself.

I don't know if this helps but that's what I did instead of cutting myself, I have enough scars.

Hugs to you during this difficult time.

 

[Milo's papa]

@Jen93, Go ahead and have a good, scratch that, Great cry. Then hold your head high and be proud of the fact that you recognized an unhealthy situation and removed yourself from it. Congratulations, that is one of the best/healthiest things we can do for ourselves.

Don't cut, be proud! :hug:

 

[Milo's papa]

@Heather, hey, I like that icecube idea. Do you mind if I borrow it from time to time?

 

[ShodokanJenn]

As someone who started to self harm at the age of 5, and didn't stop until 5 years ago, I know all too well what that feeling is like. The trick @Heather described works. You can do the ice cube on any part of your body. Just put pressure on the ice cube where ever it is that you want to feel the pain, and hold lit as long as you can handle it. There's also the standard distraction techniques, you can find lists of distraction sheets online. Lastly, if the urge becomes too much you can call a crisis line or go to your local ER.

 

[Heather]

@Heather, hey, I like that icecube idea. Do you mind if I borrow it from time to t...

No by all means....it's yours!;) You wanna take it one step further fill an entire bowl with ice water and submerge your hand.....that might even be more effective.

 

[anthony]

nada from my parents. "He was always nice to you. Why didn't you just get up and leave? You can still stay friends even if you broke up with him." Typical parents. They don't get it.

Have you told your parents the reason you broke up?

 

[Jen93]

Yup. Parents are... Well difficult to say the least.

 

[Jen93]

And they said all this even after I told them he touched me. Along with "well, you HAVE been dating for three years."

 

[Milo's papa]

@Jen93, don't let your parent or anyone else convince you have stay in a relationship with someone you don't feel comfortable with.

The length of time you're with someone has no bearing on the matter. If you don't want to be in a physical relationship with someone that's your choice to make, not anyone else's.

I said it before and I'll say it again, hold your head up high and be proud of yourself. You did the right thing for you at this time. That takes courage and strength. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[anthony]

Hmmm... parents can be difficult at times. To be honest, I do think you did the right thing by looking at third parties for help. Parents get stuck in parental mode, which can be good or bad for you as a child, depending on their unique style. Third parties often have the unbiased feedback you need, typically accurate.

Anyway I'm feeling angry and having flashes of this

What do you feel angry about?

What do you mean by flashes?

 

[Jen93]

Flashes, that's the word I use for sudden images that pop up in my head of past events. I usually get them during flashbacks and there's no emotion and they come suddenly with no trigger. I call them flashes. I hope I'm explaining myself correctly. Sorry if I'm not.