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I am struggling so much right now it hurts. I have cried so much lately I am exhausted and can not shed another tear. I feel hurt. Today is a day I ask myself why do i have to have the labels I do. Why can I not be like the "normal" people who can go about their day to day life without a second...

How do I respond to my Dad?Yes my brother is not here anymore. Yes his passing was sudden. He spent years favoring my one brother. My brother made many bad choices that my dad choose to dismiss. My brother could do no wrong.He claims he does not abandon anyone in need yet he choose his job when...

I have this fear that has actually turned into a phobia. My phobia has to do with my eyes. I have told people I would rather go blind then get any sort of procedure to fix my eyes. I am very nearsighted. I can not wear contacts in fact my one and only fitting did not go well. From that day I...

I have been reflecting on my past which has been filled with trauma after trauma. I got triggered big time by a friend. I know he did not mean to but some of the things he said did trigger me. We have been friends for over 20 years so he has seen my highs and my lows and he has been there for me...

I had done a post a while back (cant find it) about my story being read in the legislative assembly. Well here is what I wrote: I am writing this email to bring to the attention in regards to the process of trying to get a Service Dogs. I have been in touch with the Minister of Person's with...

Yesterday was a good day but exhausting.I had a lawyer's appointment, a dog training lesson with my dog trainer. I always enjoy learning from her. On my way to the appointment Jellybean was her amazing self. When I was on the LRT (subway) I met a wonderful lady and had a very nice chat with...

Today has been extremely long and emotional. I have been on the been so discouraged in the court system. I can not count how many times I felt like throwing in the towel. I have been humiliated, judged unfairly, my parenting ability questioned because of my mental illness. Yet I pick myself up...

Email I sent him Dad do not get Andrew to reply to this if you are really concern you be the one to contact me. I have included Andrew in this email so I have a witness to what I said and so he knows NOT to be the one to speak for you. I am in tears right now hearing my own father would rather...

Today was an interesting day in a good way. Today I met my new therapist and took Jellybean with me. I had informed him ahead of time and he had no issues in fact he was looking forward to meeting the both of us. On the way to the appointment I got the opportunity to educate a young lady on the...

I have had a hard time explaining an incident that happened to me 3 years ago. So with my family getting concerned I decided to start to inform the family who were causing drama first. I doubt they will understand but I felt I had to tell them first so this is what I emailed them. They have been...

I was about to fall asleep when i got the following message in text and email form both the same damn message, " Mom and Sis, Hey family this is Joyce I am starting to feel better soon. Your brother is amazing when it comes to those that are sick. I was wondering why if things in your lives...

Today I had a second meeting with my church in an attempt to bring my PTSD Service Dog with me. I was asked about my past and what happens when i am not ok. When I explained a few of my triggers and how i attempt to cope. I was told I have some coping strategies and for now not to bring my...

I am so anxious and triggered right now. I have been this way since Friday. A dear friend called my fiance who I am visiting. She told him about a terrifying experience. She was robbed at gun point in her home. The man must know someone who used to work for her as a care giver because he knew...

Today is a super hard day for me. I have had 2 panic attacks just need to get through the rest of the day. i will share why it is so hard for me. It starts on Sept 18,2003 I had been in the hospital to get things sorted as I was leaving my abusive ex and had told my Dr what was going on. My ex...

I have spent this month reflecting on my past. I am hoping to open a discussion on a couple topics which will be clear at the end. I share this in hopes of helping someone My history I have had many traumas in my life starting at the age of 2. At age 2 I was burned by coffee in an accident and...

October is always a rough month for me. It has been for the past 10 years soon to be 11. Well today I got some news about my mom that is triggering me more then usual. She has been struggling with her own mental illness, has been in and out of hospital for as long as I can remember. Today was...

Today was a good day. I had a Therapist appointment...yes my Dr works on Sunday. Jellybean was awesome she laid quietly next to me on the bus,train, waiting room and in my dr's personal office. She got to wear her new vest.I may have to get it adjust a bit as it is slightly too big for her. She...

I hate when I have a nightmare and can not wake up no matter what I do. Last night was horrible I am so exhausted. In my nightmare the doorbell rang and for some reason I got a bad feeling so I went upstairs to look out the window to see who it was. What I saw freaked me out it was 7 guys with...

Paul. I want to start off this letter saying I apologize for reacting the way I did on Friday. I was upset that you were not open to a suggestion I had made that was due to fears you had. You allowed fear to close your mind to a suggestion that might help our son. All I want to do is to work...

I got a call from my ex which upset me a great deal. He was very abusive and make several false allegations. He called me to tell me that our son was suspended from school for being high with 2 other kids(had to call school for details.) He got abusive right after I suggested our son stay with...

Ok this is both PTSD and Service Dog related. I am shaking my head as i try to figure out what to do. I live in Canada were the laws and regulations with Service Dogs are way more stricter then the US as well each province is different so it is confusing. About over a year ago I started to...

Today was not a good day for both Jellybean or myself. I am asking myself am I pushing her to hard as well as myself. I know both of us are going to have bad days. It is still embarrassing. I have been on disability for 8 years. I have been wanting to return to work for awhile now so i finally...

wow just wow i am so impressed with Jellybean tonight. I went to meet the lady who found my Medical USB card that had gotten ripped off of Jellybean's vest. Well I did not know there was a football game today so the train was packed. I mean there were people cm away from stepping on her and she...

Well today was a big day for me after 8 years of being out of the work force i went to Employabilities. They will help me to get ready for a job as well as talk to employers about my disability. I will be only working Part Time when I find a job. While i was doing my interview (what i need, what...

I was reading a post in a group I am in on Facebook and it upset me. This guy was going off on people and saying that PTSD is only military and we civilians can not possibly get PTSD. The more people tried to reason with this guy the more hostile he got. He told everyone who is a civilian that...