Super Triggered Right Now

[munkinmama]

October is always a rough month for me. It has been for the past 10 years soon to be 11. Well today I got some news about my mom that is triggering me more then usual. She has been struggling with her own mental illness, has been in and out of hospital for as long as I can remember. Today was different she had attempted suicide but this time it is different. Instead of her just being admitted to hospital and her meds adjusted things went wrong this time. She usually takes pills but this time the pills she took are now effecting her breathing. She is on oxygen for now and very weak. I am so worried about her.

*Backstory on why this is a trigger*
11 years ago on the 26 of this month I attempted suicide as I was in a bad place. I did try to reach out for help like my mom did for the past month BUT got no help. So I took all the meds I was on about a months worth. Since no one was home I was the one who after 30 mins realized this was not a good idea. The Dr. told my mom that if I wait 10 more mins I would not be here. I was in a coma for 5 days in the ICU.

 

[Anrish]

I can understand that it's now a really hard time for you.

I wish you and your mum strenght to get through this situation. And I'm really impressed how you've put this hard situation into words...

Encouraging and do-not-feel-alone-hug, if you accept it?

 

[Changing4Best]

Is there a way to communicate with your mom? Can you visit her? It might help the both of you to visit and just give one another support. She may not be able to speak a lot, since she is weak and needing oxygen, but just for someone to be with her in the same room holding her hand might be of great help. I know it was for me, when once I hit rock bottom and could not stop crying. I sobbed and sobbed. Someone holding my hand was so comforting, even though I still cried for a long while as my hand was being held.

If you can't be with your mom, or talk to her on the phone, write her a letter telling her how much she means to you and how much you love her. Give it to her later when you are next with her. Tell her to keep it and read it whenever she is feeling down.

In the meantime, you need to do grounding techniques, like taking walks and looking at things around you and focusing on them instead of the troubles that are triggering you. If it is bad weather out there, look out your favorite window and do this.

 

[munkinmama]

I have been waiting on an update from my brother on where I can see her. For now she is in the emergency room. I want to be there for my mom and I will be but this is so hard for me right now . I have been emotionally empty so to speak for a long time and with this already a rough time for me I am very cautious as I do not want to set her off too. I spoke to my brother and he is going to go see her and get more details once I know more I may go see her.

I am in a better place then i was 11 years ago. I have a wonderful, caring fiance who has been my rock when i am ready to fall apart. I also now have my Service Dog in training so she has been a huge help during this time. All I am doing is taking one minute at a time