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Greetings Under va and private care and on a much better med package. Had heavy storms the other night and dealt with very low visibility and unmarked flooded roads. While shooting the shit with some of the guys it dawned on me that yes I did deal with it and not panicked my way through the...

_Reporting to the VA in the morning for a psyc evual, the time frame is 3 days inpatient. I don't like me roaming around in my brain, now there are going to be strangers snooping around in there. My luck they will hang on to me for a week. Will post when I get sprung. G

Greetings Had pysc evual, no results yet. In the mean time , my ability to control my anger is weak at the best. The Mrs. And I got into it and I made her cry out of my white hot angry comments. A first for both of us, now avoiding each other. My desire to go away forever is very strong...

Greetings Nov 20th appt in Detroit for a 3 hour evaluation. Trying not to stress about this but I dreamed about being in court and on the stand defending that I truly did have PTSD. And slept like shit. And this appointment is almost 6 months since my suicide attempt and already been thinking...

Greetings Been a few months of stability. But that went up in flames as my 40th HS reunion was last week. Are you coming? They asked, no I. Said I'm. Here in the cornfields, of Ohio and trying desperately to get my Ptsd somewhat under control so my life can squeek out of the cat box of shit I'm...

Greetings Today we were watching TV's deadliest catch, and I said maybe I should go to Alaska to earn some money { spent a year there in the 70's}. She said ... you can go anywhere you want ..... I have yet to respond to the comment. Are we done? look up my other posts under my name...

Greetings All I got my drivers license in the 1970's, and have driven almost 2 million miles then the unthinkable happened last night....... I got my first speeding ticket. Back in the 80's I was a Federal Officer and I learned that there is nothing worse than a LE officer with nothing to do...

Greetings A month or so ago a squirrel got hit right in front of me, the fall out from that event was like being body slammed onto a concrete floor. The other day while on the road a chipmunk got hit by the car infront of me and probably had its frpnt shoulder crushed, but the agony it...

Greetings Well that was kinda awkward, found out someone had genuine concern for my absence and the rest didn't even notice. I work overnights so my human contact is minimal. Funny thing is that I don't give a rats ass anymore. G

Greetings The mrs feels that my ptsd is not all that big of a deal.... she has OCD. So I started to experiment on how to hurt myself, coworkers have noticed my injuries. Going to fess up to my Dr Monday morning that I have moved on to a more dangerous level, where I'm expendable..... G

Greetings Ok ringing in the ear, then pins and needles top left quadrant of my head, duration 45 seconds. Then it feels like my brain has been injected with Novocaine duration 2 minutes. Happens many times a day. And has spread to encompass back half of my head. Is this common? G

Greetings My ptsd is at this time something I can tolerate, I drive between 350 to 500 miles a shift. The Mrs works days full time at the library. Now here is the rub, my ptsd with meds has me at a fairly low activity level, but working overnights I cook when she is at work. Now, when she...

Greetings Had to activate my safety net 2 weeks ago. Had a bad weather day, I was so stressed out, I felt every puddle and wind gust, I knew I was going to loose control of the van and have a wreck. I drove 4 to 5 exits then pulled off to relax, but I made it, there and back. When I got home...

Greetings For a living, I drive 400 miles a night. I have meds and tailored to be balanced according to what stressors I may encounter on my route (weather). Had a mega fail the other night, got through it but was beyond spent. Are there other long haul drivers out there, I drive a full size...

Greetings I Am giving the church sermon for the holiday service. It is titled. The Fingerprints of PTSD. I Exposed my condition on facebook last month and it was like lancing a boil, hurt like hell then relief now I am not afraid of anyones opinion. I Am not ashamed, and can talk freely. MY...

Greetings Well seems I'm alone in this... G

Greetings all I think it's time to come clean! Its almost a year since the first event that has unleashed the 'ID' in my mind. I at the point where I can't remember what story I told to who. I'm planning to do this on Facebook, small following but they all have connections, so the word will...

Greetings A lifetime of building my duel worlds, the one I imagine that I'm living, and the reality that is in the background. About a year ago two specific events shattered the barrier between my worlds..... and here I am posting a plan to keep me upright and sane. I started meds about 4...

Greetings I had my scheduled massage today and Linda said I looked tired. I has 10 hours of sleep before my appt. So after ruminating about this I texted he with this answer. PTSD is like a computer program that runs in the background all the time, and maybe it takes a toll on us even if...

Greetings The Mrs and I had deep talk yesterday and she is being very supportive in how I'm trying to learn how live a life that has more facets than the Hope Diamond. Then she swung the hammer and fractured my life. You see she is now afraid of me, but only when I'm sleeping. I started celexa...

Greetings Second week in a row, last nights dream was a single muzzle flash and report, and a huge twich. Can't help wondering if this is another facet of my new normal?

Ggreetings It seems that this ice storm may make my driving life a pos Got a cot and blankets and survival food blocks. I meet a guy from ky to take stuff elsewhere. But have to deal with the stress of driving and getting this stuff to it's destination. G

Greetings Last night while sleeping my ears started ringing and it got louder, then I saw a thin vertical line and the ringing was replaced with a tone similar to a piano wire being way over tightened. Then it snapped with a fierce report, then my vision went from violet to deep dark blue...

Greetings Since insurance has left me high and dry, I have cobbled together my own network. 1. I have a 24/7 crisis guy and knows if I'm not sounding right, will call 911. 2. I have a licensed massage therapist who works on me every other week, and knows what is going on. I have been seeing...

Greetings I drive over nights for a healthcare company, my route is 300 miles. We had some nasty winter weather come through last night, first half of my travels was ok, then the freezing rain started. I found my self on a regular state route and was treated....... omly to the industrial...