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Not in mine. I've been therapy with one of my parents and they lied outright as well as to their own therapist. I knew this because I knew the facts and I knew what she said to her therapist - there was a release for my and her therapists to talk and when at one time I confronted her she...

I totally get this. I decided to stop contact with my mother other than my daughter having visits with her. But it took a lot for me to get to the place where I felt entitled to not see her. The past was an issue for sure but also after my father died the relationship became really toxic and...

Wow amosmorris, I've been off the grid and just saw this. Thank you!! What you wrote really helps. Reading over my post I realized how my wording wasn't great, but I am glad you understand and appreciate what you shared.

Boy can I identify. Except that I had the both fortunate and unfortunate experience of my mother at times taking almost full responsibility to be totally reactive, lying, pretty insane. I care about the past, but know I have to deal with it on my own at this juncture. She's admitted enough...

Thank you Poofycat. It is helpful to have that validation.

I just started a thread on this. It completely takes away my anxiety and critical parts and flashbacks go away. I feel emotionally organized and can accomplish things. I only use it on the weekends when I am not working, because the structure of my work keeps me so engaged that I don't have...

Has anyone used adderall for PTSD? I tried it and my anxiety completely went away. And I'm talking about this kind of anxiety: being scared to leave my bed, to do anything in the house for fear of the parts of myself that rage at me and viciously criticize me - just as my father did. When I...

I completely have that experience. I am constantly, more so in the past, getting upset with my T for something she says that I feel implies a criticism or minimizing my experience. I'm on watch for it. It was hard because I always told her when I was upset but I expressed my emotions usually...

I do not think your T will dismiss you. People who don't know about trauma or DID just don't understand. Also DID is so common when we have been abused. I realized I have DID NOS. Meaning, I always know what I am who I am what age I am but I can feel like a child and behave like one. Or I...

Maybe you should talk to her about how you freeze when you want to share the abuse or how you are ambivalent. You can discuss all the feelings associated with what you went through before telling her the exact experience. Also you can tell her what you are afraid will happen, i.e. your fears...

I feel like I have to push myself through a forcefield to leave therapy. All these parts come out - younger ones or I feel so safe and then to leave feels treacherous. I've started getting into this angry place where I leave angry not because I really am at her - maybe i'd rather leave...

Hi NightSKy. I can totally relate. I agree with Watundah about reading Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems. He talks about protector parts. They, I believe are there to protect the hurt child parts. They can do this in all sorts of ways like being hypervigilent, certainly getting...

Hi Charleh, those are definitely flashbacks. You can have an awareness of where you are and still be in a flashback. Those are horrible memories and horrible things that happened to you. I'm so sorry you had to go through them and it makes sense that you would still have flashbacks even if...

It makes so much sense because that's how we dealt with the pain when we were younger right? I definitely dissociate at times when suddenly flooded by what we are talking about in therapy or when triggered by something. Its not the same as being out side of myself more like I freeze and maybe...

I'm a really open person but am pretty good at detecting whom I can open up to - people that will reciprocate. And I've definitely had friends who struggle. In general, I'm not that interested in close friends with whom we can't share this stuff. That being said, when it comes to using the...

Your emotions are so OK. All of them. There's nothing wrong with crying when listening to such beautiful music that's emotionally evocative and even more so since you and your friend went through the same kind of trauma. And if I was your therapist I would be probably feel bad that my being...

A very late than you for this explanation. Its very helpful and will try to remember it.

Thank you for your response, I get caught up in life and forget to review the posts. I'm glad you get the idea of feeling nauseous - its if my therapist phrases it in a way that I just want to throw up. But I guess when I go to these places with her it generally feels like I'm reliving a...

I really sympathize. I think that the reality is the sexual abuse you experienced which was since you were so little could in no way make sex OK - at this time -. This is who you are - right now. He is having trouble fully accepting this. We bring all of ourselves into the picture into...

Hi, just wondering whether other people struggle with DID NOS. I guess I dissociate - as my therapist tells me. Its not like dissociation where I don't remember things or have completely different personalities that i am not aware of. But I can feel like I'm 8 years old or even a baby...

Hey JEK I'm glad my post helped. Its great that you have your cat. I play with my dog and cuddle with her. She's 57 pounds I we literally spoon and wrestle and she licks my face and I feel taken care of. She's not emotionally attuned like some dogs, but she's always ready to play and cuddle...

I just want to say something about myself in relation to this. I feel, although I might have protective parts, I usually feel my exiles completely become completely blended with me. I'm not exactly doing IFS, but I'm familiar with it so my therapist and I think of it as sort of dissociating...

I think you make such total sense.

I am so sorry. First I do have to disagree with some comments that therapy is a scam or that no other field would do this. That is not true. I am a therapist and I would never do that. And believe me doctors and lawyers etc. would. But I also know that some therapists obviously do. That...

Anyone dealing with trauma should get that. But its reassuring for me because I've had lots of times where I don't remember the sequence of sessions or exactly what's gone on and I never, ridiculously, linked it to trauma. Sounds like something significant was reached inside you. Really...