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I am so sorry you are going through this. I am an RN and what I found when I was in nursing school with other women who were already married, with kids etc. is that almost all the relationships failed while we were in school mainly because we had all chosen men who were narcisstic and had to...

I think this article is way to broad to even begin to touch on the issues of the Eastern practices of meditation and mindfulness (which are two different things actually.) My first attempt with Yoga I was told that many people will drop out because of what is brought up by these practices...yep...

Really good discussion. I have had body work, massages, reiki that caused flashbacks that totally surprised me. What I have come to realize is that because I wasn't allowed to have my own pain in response to being abused and other traumatic events, I kept burying the pain, denying the pain...

I know for me it is important to realize that "dissociation" means to disconnect from whatever I am associating with at the moment that I am unable to handle. The degree or depth of distancing of my awareness from myself and surroundings is directly related to my conscious or unconscious...

TY so much for putting everything into such clear words. It really helped me to hear you. I totally agree with all you have said and saddly have experienced. Many of us have suffered these repercussions and then blame ourselves when we have been trained to retreat, accept the blame, remain...

I would highly recommend all of Pete Walker's books. They really helped me so much. You can get them from his web site.

Wow. That was definitely right between the eyes for me. I now understand so much better why I have existed this way in my family relationships and all other relationships in my life. The struggle between wanting and desiring relationships desparately, yet only having one crayon in the box to go...

When we face rejection and abandonment from a Church, Bible Study etc. because they do not understand what PTSD is and how to respond to our sensitivity and it can be extremely difficult for us to find our sea legs. I know I had a similar experience and the more I tried to explain myself the...

I just want to say that the hardest thing I have had to do with my crazy family was resign as the "scapegoat". My therapist told me that when we speak the truth and own our issues related to family abuse and then leave to go else where beyond their abusive reach, then they are left with their...

I would like to say something about all this exposure therapy everyone is talking about. I know for me that was just way to triggering for me and I felt so out of control and overwhelmed by the "Fear of Abandonment" that would get triggered in just about every trigger. It was like the chocolate...

It absolutely makes sense.. Often we have to find what exactly is the point of resistance. That is what we have to see more clearly. Why did you react so strongly to the words "denial" and "impasse" and immediately make yourself wrong and having to defend what has obviously been a belief that...

Men and women can deal with grief and emotions differently. My husband does not have PTSD but he is not someone that shares all his emotions with me or anyone for that matter. He doesn't like me taking care of him per se, because he would rather do for me or do it for himself. Yet he loves me to...

I think many of us have taken to harming ourselves in some way as an attempt to take back or exhibit some kind of control. The fact that many of us were so young during the abuse means that our defense mechanisms for coping or not coming from an older part of ourselves but from the child within...

I claim to be a Christian but I believe in modern medicine and modern psychotherapy. The fact that most Christian's I have found think that psychotherapy is not Christian and then try to brow beat you into believing that you just need to have "more faith" or you would be healed, therefore the...

The diagnosis of "Complex PTSD" is not an official diagnosis in the books, so legally PTSD is PTSD. Where I have come to the understanding of "Complex" to be is that is more in relation to how your PTSD is constructed. For instance, complex PTSD may not have visual re-experiencing of trauma in...

Pete Walker is my hero! He really helped me unwind so many things and really see how this wasn't my fault and that healing was possible or at least management is possible. Still have days when I feel like one big nerve and don't trust people to be near me.

Many men play on the weakness of an abused woman because they know we can collapse and dissasociate and they can force their agenda because we dissappear. It doesn't sound like this man you are discussing gives a rat's but about you and only wants what he wants. To minimize you and blames you as...

My coming to an understanding of complex PTSD has helped me more than anything and it sounds like you might want to read up on that. There is a wonderful book on Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving and also The Tao of Feeling Fully both by Pete Walker. He has a web site too. His work really...

I found any time I had to confront my therapist it was an incredible growth opportunity for me to grow through the fear I had about supporting myself and establishing healthy boundaries no matter who they were. Owning my voice with my therapist was a safe place for me to do that, and it really...

I totally can relate to this. Being wounded by the ones closest to us really messes with our heads in that we are afraid to not just love them but anyone else for that matter. Love and Fear cannot exist in the same breath. They cancel each other out. Fear extinguishes any love that could be...

It has been a struggle. At this point I know longer deal with my Mother or my two sisters. I do still help take care of my disabled father though. He apologized many years ago for the part he played in escalating the trauma with his blaming and condemning attitude when I was teen. I still have a...

Lack of attachment is definitely something that has come up for me. Letting go of the perpetual chase I was stuck in to get "seen and approved" by my narcissistic mother, I was finally left with the understanding that the problem was that there wasn't a relationship there in the first place. It...

Personally, I think the real issue is why are you continuing to focus on this person. You have stated that he is a coke addict, obviously a narcissist, has no empathy or compassion for your MS and is obviously doing nothing to handle his own issues. I have found people come into our lives for us...

I am glad to know I am not the only one that has had this issue. I found at one point that even going into my own kitchen was triggering me. Preparing food and self care was triggering me. It was okay if I prepared food for my husband but not for myself. I actually got so mad at him one day...

I think one of the hardest things for me was that people don't act or think like me. Being a "care giver" empathy is big on my scale of important things. What I have had to learn is that empathy is gained by experience and feeling your own pain so you can identify with someone else's pain and...