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I agree, brene brown on "listening to shame" found on Ted talks, on you tube is a must watch. Think she has similar talks on guilt, etc.

I stopped watching the news a few years ago as it was driving my depression, etc. I catch a bit of it now. News is never good, at least the news on major networks. That is the nature of news really Bad news does not sell well, and the world has all ways been full of it. Now I just choose to...

Not sure how it is classified I only knew it as MDMA before it became popular as an abused, recreational party drug. Makes sense that any uplift in our feelings and sense of well being might be a good thing, if not abused. Think that is why it was used in medical trials. So thank the over...

It was used many years ago with great results in a study in Scandinavia, forgot where. Then the anti drug crowd found out...the study shut down......

Praz is much much safer then taking the anti-anxiety meds (benzos) and you don't go crazy tapering off, and it's easy to find a Dr. who will prescribe it, unlike the benzos. I am wondering if there is not some help available to you through your school, etc. ? ie student health services, or...

Hi, have you tried the med "Prazosin" ? It has worked pretty well for nightmares. And I'm in the middle of tapering off of clonazapam....not fun.

Shame IS..."I am bad" Guilt IS.... "I did something bad" You did neither. Trauma makes us believe lies about ourselves. The truth is you are a hero and a victor. Any of those negative thoughts gives power back to the criminals. Freedom comes from sharing all of the trauma with another...

I am in nearly the same shape. I've managed to get this far but I'm in a huge spiral. I have nobody really. But I am here, you are there. So you are not alone (neither am I ). We all have to have somebody to talk to. Send me a message, I would love to chat with you.

It worked that way for me, and others, doing EMDR

you mean there is 2 in the colony now ?? not much "normal" for me >>>>

Eagle3 was right on. Yeah I don't belong to anything/anywhere. But remember we are NOT our feelings...I can "fit in"...or relate to somebody when I know, I just know ...I can not. If I just do it....it often works. Still I " Feel" like the last leper in the colony....untouchable. Too many...

If you can process each piece of the trauma, using EMDR for example.....You can uncover the buried trauma and beliefs AND discover the lies you may believe about yourself, that the trauma created. It is not fun nor easy, but by processing each piece that comes up, eventually you will/can find...

my understanding is that in a flashback, one actually is reliving the experience...as if it is happening again.

HI, Most of my 20 years+ EMS work was not paid or only token pay, 2 years were fully paid. After that, 6 years as unpaid victim advocate, along with armed private security and reserve cop. The most difficult years were all the "volunteer" years. Being on "call" almost all the time...(had to...

I haven't had diabetes too long and I'm not sure if I have noticed that effect, but things have been crazy for awhile.. Interesting question...I'll see if I notice anything.

Hi, Yeah, I think you shouldn't spend much time thinking....or wondering about that. I think your concern over this just makes things worse. You are fine, (and so am I ).

Just my observations, in one tiny slice of life....past life. The more disconnected I am from sex, the more dead I feel, and hopeless.

I think my point may have been understated. Just cause I feel...a certain way, does not mean that I am....that word or feeling, etc. If i wake up feeling worthless, that does not mean I am...worthless. I am simply "feeling" that way.

Thanks, it is only interrupting mostly my thinking and internal feelings. As Freud said..."sometimes a cigar is just a cigar". Maybe the "why" is less complex than I know. But it is a powerful force.

Well...f*ck the negative ones. I haven't given up yet on believing the positive ones....But at the moment , not sure what I believe about anything.....except stop the f*ck ing circus, and kick me off in a commune. (:). If I am my feelings right now....I must be a pretty sick and twisted guy...

Thanks for the reply ! That's a bit like the need to feel alive, when surrounded by a lot of death which manifested in an increased sex drive among many I knew who worked too close to death. Maybe a combination of all of the above ? Not sure what to do with it.

I think it bears repeating...."we are NOT...our feelings !" Yes...I fall into big pits too. I am NOT who and what, I "FEEL" that I am when in the middle of the pit. And neither are you.

Feelings

Maybe...an increased need for, and resistance to being able to find pleasure in the middle of this benzo crazy. Anything is possible I guess. I'm still trying to figure it out and figure out how to deal with it. Thanks for your input.

I'm sure it is possible. Maybe I'm just starting to feel new things that have been covered up by the benzos. Can't quite imagine that either....beats me.