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So yesterday therapy was really difficult for me, I felt that numb and distant that I couldn't really verbalise what was actually wrong with me. A lot of therapy was me sat in silence. My t kept asking questions and I kept giving quite short responses. I think partially because I couldn't stop...

So I've survived my 11th anniversary of being attacked this year it was really hard, as it normally is. I've been thinking about the attack in a lot more detail this year though, I'm not sure why. I've got therapy tomorrow which I want to have a proper in depth talk about the attack and the...

So I am approaching the "anniversary" of when I was attacked. I feel around this time my sleep worsens and the nightmares, today was the worst it's been in a while. I set alarms and slept all through them. It feels like I am aware in my sleep I have slept through my alarms, but I'm completely...

I've been in therapy for a year now. My therapist said that now I'm a lot "stronger" than I was and my boyfriend has said this as well. I really don't feel like it. I feel completely overcome with emotion still. I feel like I'm always on the egde of just crumbling. I was honest to him when we...

So this might sound a bit odd, but I can't stand people touching the crook of my arm. There's other places but this obviously gets touched the most. Even if I feel anything touch it my arms go up to protect it and it's a struggle sometimes to feel safe enough to put them back down. I went to...

Therapy has been really hard recently because of the stuff I've been talking about, it's really been making me feel a massive mix of strong emotions, because it involves my parents and sister. I was severely abused by them, in literally every way you can think of, starting from about 5, it ended...

So I have only just started to bring the fact that my dad and sister sexually abused me to the point in my head that I feel like I need to speak about it. I watched a documentary about something similar with my partner and realised that I can't hide this anymore. I need to rant. I just brought...

I have ptsd from being gang raped at 11, but I'm starting to prepare myself to tell my therapist and the first person ever that when I was attacked it wasn't the first time. I can't believe I'm typing this because I never thought I would, but I saw a TV programme last night about incest and I...

So I'm embarrassed about this. I sleep with a teddy and I really have to suck my thumb to sleep. It makes me feel safe enough to sleep. My boyfriend really dislikes both of these things though and I hate it. I can sort of understand why he doesn't like it but it makes a lot of nights bearable...

I feel so panicked recently, I've been sleeping really badly, I keep falling to sleep that fast I don't set alarms, I wake up screaming and running. I have to wash my hair everyday now because I'm drenched by the time I wake up. I wake up trying to shout at nothing. I think that something bad is...

I feel so unbearabley down at the minute. For the past few weeks I have cried or been very close to daily. I feel really bad about myself. I have been constantly thinking I don't deserve to live or eat, I know this may sound odd, I don't know where this has come from. I don't feel like I would...

Just to clear a few things up, I wrote this when I was in a absolute shit storm, I've had 5 hours sleep in 3 days, I didn't even proof read it, I was just ranting, I never said that it was definitely going to happen, it's the fact it's been even suggested, that's the terrifying thing. When I...

This may not make perfect sense, because my heads a mess right now. I literally can barely cope with this right now. I have a lot of things that I keep hidden. For a bit of back story I wrote on here the other day, the awful truth, that a classmate found my 11 year old battered and gang raped...

I went to therapy today after a my t had a two week holiday break today. He pretty much jumped straight into wanting to talk about a severe trauma that happened that I've never really spoke properly about, I could tell him up to a certain point before it felt like I hit a wall where I could no...

Thanks for your reply. It's really helpful for me to hear this from people, it just reminds you that you're not alone, even though I wish no one had to feel like this. I'm going to try and be open with my t about it, I hope I can stir up the courage! :hug:

Thanks for your reply. I don't know why I have this feeling, but it's like I'm not worth people's time. I don't want to feel like I'm being entitled and for people to think I'm overreacting. I know that may sound silly. Last time he went away I kept it all in, but I'd only just met him. This...

I've had a 2 weeks break in therapy because of a therapists holiday. I am so nervous about seeing him again. Everything has been so on top of me, I feel like I am just going to walk in and explode on him. Or maybe I just won't be able to speak at all. I wasted my last session because I was that...

Thanks for your reply, I really really hope they are down too, those images have been up for 10 years now, so that's a long time, I would try and contact best gore again but I don't think it's worth the pain of being ignored again, it made everything a massive amount worse because I felt like...

Thanks for your reply, I've got the issue that I don't know whether these photos are still online, just after 10 years I plucked up the courage to actually tell someone what I saw and for obvious reasons I'm not going to search for them. I've always acted as if it never happened to me or it...

thanks for your reply, the problem is I've not seen the photos in about 10 years, so I don't know whether they are still on there and to be honest with the stuff I've seen on there I don't think I'd want to try and search for them, I couldn't imagine how I'd actually react seeing those photos as...

I was gang raped and tortured when I was 11. No one knows but my therapist. I suffered through it all alone. They covered my whole head during what they did. It was horrible, I had got no medical help either. I was left with my torso covered in slashes, bite marks and bruises. I had to bandage...

I've been so low for weeks. I couldn't see my therapist this week because he was on holiday. He left at at really pivotal moment for me. I don't know how I'm going to feel when I see him again. Everyone has always walked out on me or abused me, so I hate it when he goes away. I've felt so...

I'm really lost. I've been seeing my therapist for just over 6 months every Friday. We have a good relationship. Last year he went on holiday for 3 weeks and I ended up not seeing him for a month, this was also over the anniversary of what gave me ptsd, so it was a really horrendous time for me...

I had a really bad week in therapy last week and was so upset when I left. I got a lot of my chest but it was really difficult stuff that I've never spoke about, so it was pretty heartbreaking for me. When it was time for me to go, I stood up, I was still uncontrollably crying and hurting a lot...

I am going on my first holiday with my boyfriend, it's also my first holiday abroad in years and my first proper holiday without my parents. I'm really excited but at the same time absolutely dreading it. My parents (mum and stepdad) regularly used to attempt suicide on holiday, from when I was...