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  1. H

    Misjudgement and triggers

    That is completely true, and thank you so much for your advice. I really dont want a fixer upper. And it's true, that I feel like there was some deceit involved, even if he himself didnt intend to. I went on a date with the respectful guy already, I have another one this weekend. I'm going to...
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    Misjudgement and triggers

    But I guess it was still manipulative even if he had good intentions. Saying all those things so I would relax, and desire him more all while seductively whispering into my ear. It definitely wasn't clear. Even if he did ask if I was okay cuddling. He's either a complete idiot or a manipulator...
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    Misjudgement and triggers

    Thank you all for your responses. I feel like I've been defending him. I think in some ways he honestly thought he was clear, he just doesn't understand how misleading he was. I'm not sure if he misdirected on purpose. I mean when I asked him as he was taking me home what he was going to tell...
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    Misjudgement and triggers

    Hi, it's been a while since I've been on here. I'm just dealing with a lot of emotions right now. It's been 3+ years since I dated my abusive ex. Last month for the first time since my abuse I developed a crush on someone. I've has mild attractions before, but this was the first time I felt...
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    Sexual Assault Midnight nightmares of assault and doubts

    It's been almost a year since I high tailed it and ran from college because things were getting dangerous. Lately some things have been sinking in. I had to disappear from everyone I knew except my immediate family. Going by an alias, which is now so comfortable I forget my real name. I woke...
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    Lost my job...

    I feel like life has been a bit of a roller coaster of events. I wrote before about my trainer who yelled at me all the time. After Christmas break she was better for a little bit, but then it started up again, and it became hard to work. So last week I set up a meeting with my boss, and met...
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    Staying silent on suicidal ideation

    Thank you guys! My supervisor has been on vacation for the last three weeks, and though it has been stressful because I'm doing all of her work and mine, I'm not worrying about her as much anymore. She did have a small chat with me before she left. She knows she can be difficult, and she doesn't...
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    Staying silent on suicidal ideation

    Sorry it seems I pushed a wrong button in my reply! (I was trying to do preview, and it didn't work.) I had written a more thorough reply but I will summarize. Unfortunately my supervisor expects that after she's taught you once, or told you once, that you will be perfect. I'll ask her to double...
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    Staying silent on suicidal ideation

    Hey guys! So I had been doing well for a while, but then things got hard at work. I keep making mistakes. I feel like I forget everything people have told me, people talk and I can't seem to remember anything unless I write it down, and my brain will filter things out so I don't remember what...
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    I know i'm a terrible person for thinking this...

    Thanks guys! I definitely think there are people who have it worse than I do. I feel like my own experiences has really opened that up for me to realize how bad things could have been. I'm pretty grateful for all the help, and support I got. I think it is true that we all deal with our...
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    I know i'm a terrible person for thinking this...

    So I recently had a conversation with some people that was interesting. I find it hard sometimes when people complain about little issues and act like their life is ending. Such as not getting the window with a view, having a cold, or their cereal wasn't at the store. Or worse act like their...
  12. H

    Relationship My crazy marriage

    I think this is interesting. If you're genuinely trying to help your wife, then I do have some advice. I am a sexual abuse survivor and have PTSD. I will preface this by saying I'm going to be honest with you, so I hope that you will not be offended. 1. Please understand that all sexual trauma...
  13. H

    When grounding leaves you flooded with being raped feelings

    That sounds really hard. I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you know, that we're here for you. I remember when I first started grounding it was really difficult. Beds were a problem for me too. I didn't remember my rape, so I didn't know beds would be triggering when I tried grounding...
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    What is hypervigilance like for you?

    Hmmm hypervigilance for me is interesting. Mostly exhausting. I'll give some background so this makes sense. Dated a psychopath, made people close to me believe him and used them to hunt me down and try to do things that end my life prematurely. So, I've had to move a few times, change my name...
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    Sexual Assault What do you think happened?

    I'm going to add my opinion here. First of all, I understand why you put it in 3rd person, and told it in a story kind of way. I do the same thing when I recount the events that happened to me. It's my disassociation. In fact I'm actually writing a book right now, about what happened to me, but...
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    Being intimate - i don't think i'm normal

    I feel like I can really connect with you about this. I get the whole not wanting to tell anyone because I feel stupid for saying so bit. You don't want to upset people, you don't want to cause trouble. You want to take care of this on your own and not drag anyone down with you. I'm not...
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    T wants me to take down my google review of her

    So maybe I'm a terrible person. I probably would have done exactly what you did. (I didn't read through the entire conversation, but I did read through the first few pages, so I'm sorry if I missed anything.) I saw a therapist once for emergency help with my PTSD. I couldn't talk, and was...
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    Sexual Assault Recovery

    Thanks guys! It's been a journey! I was a silent reader on this site for a while before I started posting, and I found it really helpful to combat all the struggles I was going through. So thanks everyone!
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    Sexual Assault Recovery

    Hey guys! I don't get on a whole lot because I'm so busy, but I thought I would reach out. It's been a year since I left my abuser. So much has happened. My PTSD was so bad. I lost so many friends who just found what happened too difficult, or they believed my abuser. I was told by some police...
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    How can i trust what comes up during emdr?

    I know for me I didn't believe what I saw in EMDR at all! I was so overwhelmed with it. It was actually almost torturous for me, and I couldn't trust myself. It took me months before I could begin to accept it. It mostly came from seeing doctors who confirmed what happened to me. Fun fact...
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    Other Complicated health issues and ptsd dog?

    Thanks you guys for the help! My seizures are weird. They are a neuro cardiac mix, and I don't have a doctor currently that understands or can treat them. They can happen anytime if my heart rate or blood pressure gets too high suddenly, or drops suddenly. When my PTSD acts up it would cause...
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    Sexual Assault Dating after sexual abuse (and emotional abusive relationship)

    I know how you feel because I'm going through it right now too. I just want to be healed already, and be normal again! I dated quite a bit before my ex, so I know what its supposed to be like. I can tell you this, for every really bad guy out there, there is also a really good one. I have a few...
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    Emdr for repressed trauma and emotions

    I second making sure you are ready. I had EMDR while was still in a traumatic situation so I could just function. Like you I had a ton of repressed memories, and was confused because I was reacting like crazy but couldn't remember anything, and the police wanted me to complete a report. I read a...
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    Other Complicated health issues and ptsd dog?

    So I'm finally in a place where I am safe and can heal. It's taken a while, but I found proof for myself that it all really occurred and I can't stay in denial any longer. It's sad but also relieving. I mostly have two questions concerning health problems related to PTSD. While informing two...
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    Sexual Assault I wish someone would believe me about my rape

    That sounds really rough. Universities can be quite the recipe for disaster when sexual assault, rape, rumors and everything else gets started. Most people do not know how to handle rape, abuse, PTSD etc. It sounds like you are having an absolute terrible time right now! I can emphasize because...
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