Emdr for repressed trauma and emotions

[seabadger]

I shut down emotionally about 1.5 years ago, I stopped feeling anything. I have a number of experiences where I only have fragments of memories and know something was deeply troubling me at the time. I found information about EMDR so booked my first session for Tuesday. Does anyone here have experience with using EMDR to surface repressed traumas, memories and emotions? I have a huge amount of repressed fear and grief, the anhedonia is pretty suffocating so I got nothing to lose really, might as well just dive into it but my mind is protecting me from it and wont let me go there.

Also, are there any psychotherapy methods that would augment and enhance the effectiveness of EMDR? I'm lucky to be in a place where I have access to regular talk therapy at the moment but talk therapy alone doesn't help me tap into the repressed stuff. I'm healing, thats for absolute sure but still numb and emotionless, and still feel dense grief, sadness and fear in my heart when I meditate into it.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I am in emdr right now. It connects your memories from present to past kind of like a web. The themes (for example: shame) seem to be what connects the events and guides your mind traveling. Many of my repressed memories popped up in talk therapy before emdr. However, new info has surfaced in this process.

 

[EveHarrington]

My guess is that the EMDR therapist will make sure you're a right fit for EMDR before starting. It may be quite some time before your actual first EMDR session depending on where you are in the healing process. And if the therapist wants to actually do EMDR the first time you see her.....RUN.....as she doesn't have your best interests in mind.

 

[Haven]

I second making sure you are ready. I had EMDR while was still in a traumatic situation so I could just function. Like you I had a ton of repressed memories, and was confused because I was reacting like crazy but couldn't remember anything, and the police wanted me to complete a report. I read a lot about it before hand, but I was not prepared for the experience. For me it was a full body recall, it came in bits and pieces, but I felt everything and I was back in the situation again. Reliving something horrible was just torture. Luckily you'll have someone there with you to help you through it. They can pull you out, and you can healthily deal with a lot of it. Make sure you are in a safe place before you start, because EMDR kind of lets the faucet opens, some of my memories would resurface after my sessions and I was left to my own devices on how to handle them. EMDR is kind of like unstopping a drain, the flow can come slowly at first, and then all at once. Be prepared, and feel safe with whomever you're with. Make sure after your session, that you are in a safe environment. It may take a long time to get through, it will really help though. I recently felt happiness again, and I was very excited to feel all the bubbly little feelings. I know what you're going through, and its worth it. Just remember its no picnic.

As a side note, when I was reliving the trauma in EMDR I didn't believe any of it because I'm guessing during the events I disassociated really bad. It had a surreal dream like feel to it. It's not like normal memories where you recall them, it can be like a 4d movie experience looking through someone's eyes, but it doesn't feel like you're own. It's weird to say the least. It's also normal. Just don't go through super denial like I did, you're brain will want to protect you, but it's lying. Write down what you experienced right away, because the memories will fade back. Once healing has started, you may find you don't need to remember anymore, and just take the notes you had to tell people what happened. Then you can focus on you enjoying life, and not what happened, and you can let the memories disappear in the wind.