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  1. Madmaninabox

    Childhood did anyone else do this after getting molested or sexually assaulted?

    I really like that part. I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you are able to get rid of a lot of the shame.
  2. Madmaninabox

    Childhood did anyone else do this after getting molested or sexually assaulted?

    thank you @arfie @LittleBigFoot and @JadeB. I'm really trying to be gentle and tolerate toward myself. I have a lot of shame around this area of my life. I really didn't understand what it was. I have always done it a lot especially as a little kid. I have even done in front of people at times...
  3. Madmaninabox

    Childhood did anyone else do this after getting molested or sexually assaulted?

    I feel really alone in this. I was molested and right after I masturbated for the first time in my life. It's kind of a pivotal moment when you do this for the first time. the entire experience has really messed with me. It took me a long time to tell my therapist I did this. I asked my...
  4. Madmaninabox

    Childhood Dealing with a plethora of triggers, often unknown

    This was a big part of my problem with identifying triggers. Basically telling myself "no it can't be that reason. That is silly it doesn't even make sense that I'm triggered by that" 🤦‍♂️ I started by just asking myself "what if you are correct and this is triggering you? Is there any reason...
  5. Madmaninabox

    Sexual Assault Need Other Women's Experiences

    Ya I have this happen. It's one of the worst parts of my ptsd. It only happens to me with 2 or 3 specific memorys. When it happens it's also an endless cycle. I get triggered then I get turned on then I get more triggered and so on. Sorry if this is tmi but maybe you will relate and it will...
  6. Madmaninabox

    New systems at work involves a lot of writing

    Hahaha I didn't even notice 😄😄 lol
  7. Madmaninabox

    New systems at work involves a lot of writing

    Thank you @Sideways @Friday and @Movingforward10 That's so cool that you did that sideways. it's incredible you taught yourself all of that. Friday I'm 100% going to have to look into Dysgraphia. Because that sounds just like me. I had teacher stay for hours after school was over before...
  8. Madmaninabox

    New systems at work involves a lot of writing

    I'm honestly really struggling at work right now because we have this new system and we have to write everything down. we have to write notes to each other, and write down everything we clean, and write down what other people should do. I was molested by a kid at school he was in 6th grade and...
  9. Madmaninabox

    CSA and strange sexual desires make me feel disgusting

    I relate to this so much your not alone. I know when I get really badly triggered I feel like I'm constantly turned on for a while after. and then I get more triggered because I was obviously being tuned on by the same types of things that happened when I was molested. so ya it's a cycle and it...
  10. Madmaninabox

    My boss is guilting me for taking breaks

    This is genius 👏 actually Or at least it's fun to think about. It's something to try. Or at least just say I'm going to the bathroom. instead of "can" I go to the bathroom. Being less passive about it would probably help. As far as it being a different bathroom. It really depends on the...
  11. Madmaninabox

    My boss is guilting me for taking breaks

    Ya thank you good points. I'm really caught up in the fear it's causing me. But it's a basic human right and necessity. I wish I had more people on my side but everyone else just gose along with it. There upset with me because I don't. She's the type of person who would deny it. She would...
  12. Madmaninabox

    My boss is guilting me for taking breaks

    OK so I work at a fairly slow coffee shop. A lot of the time it is just me there. We don't normally take our 10 minute break. (This is illegal were I live but I can't do much to change it) I am fine with this except for one problem. I'm being talked down to for even leaving for 2 minutes to use...
  13. Madmaninabox

    Addressing shame

    Ya being a teenager is already hard enough. Add on top of it feeling about sex that your peers are not having. It's easy to feel a lot of shame. And it's so intense because at least for me I had already had this sexual thing happen to me at 6. I had already built this model of attraction around...
  14. Madmaninabox

    Addressing shame

    I relate to this so much. I remember being like 16 and having a panic attack because I found Emma Stone attractive. I thought I was having a heart attack. At that point I felt so much shame about being gay that I thought ya this makes sense. I was a full time missionary at the time. I was...
  15. Madmaninabox

    The "I Need A Hug" Thread

    Thank you 🥰🥰🥰 hugs back @OliveJewel and @Teasel
  16. Madmaninabox

    The "I Need A Hug" Thread

    First off I love this thread its so sweet. Also I could really use a hug. I just told a girl I really like I just wanted to be friends. I'm not really for a relationship my mental health just isn't there. Honestly hers isn't either. It's really sad because we both really like eachother and...
  17. Madmaninabox

    The "I Need A Hug" Thread

    @Teasel hugs coming your way sorry you are sad. I hope today is a little better then yesterday.
  18. Madmaninabox

    Childhood Sex Repulsion & Spiritual Abuse?

    I told my therapist once that I think about sex all the time. It feels like all I ever think about. The amount I think about this can't be normal. I think about it more then everyone else around me. She said are you sure that is true? Or are all your sexual thoughts in bold rainbow colored...
  19. Madmaninabox

    Other CRPS - Complex Regional Pain Syndrome- Any success stories of how you managed it?

    Hey, I don't know if this comment will be of any help. First of I am so sorry you are going through all of this I completely understand why it would feel like a curse. My dad has this. He is on disability I don't know if that is something you would want to try to do so you would at least have...
  20. Madmaninabox

    Sufferer Greetings everyone

    Nice to meet you crying lady. You have found a great place to vent!! Everyone here is super supportive and understanding. I'm glad you found it. Welcome 🥰
  21. Madmaninabox

    Sexual Assault Audible Orgasm During Rape

    Very different experience but you asked for experiences and I have one. this is incredibly hard for me to talk about. I was 6. And I made a noise and he told me I was "going to get us both in trouble." I remember really trying to be quite because I was scared of him. I orgasimed and could not...
  22. Madmaninabox

    Regression

    I don't know if this would be helpful or if it will even make sense. But I tell myself things about the current moment. then work back to a point my brain believes. Then work forward until I get to now. For example The year is 2021 My dogs name is ____ I work at ____ Before this I worked at...
  23. Madmaninabox

    What coping skill are you using now or within the past day

    Cool crafts are great 👍 I'm sure this probably won't be a new skill but it's my go to. I ask myself questions about right now I ask what year is it? were do you live? Are you hungry or thirsty? What are 5 colors in the room? How many green things can you see? What is your dog's name...
  24. Madmaninabox

    Why can't I ever make anything go right?

    Wow I'm so sorry you are going through this that sounds awful. Good job taking care of yourself as best you can. I understand covid is dangerous and really bad. It can cause the lung issues that your experiencing... But there has to be a better system because this can obviously be dangerous to...
  25. Madmaninabox

    Why can't I ever make anything go right?

    Ok guys im not ok. The last few days have been outside my window of tolerance. I have really bad asthma. I have since I was a kid. I have been having a hard time breathing because I'm working on a project that involves things like cutting wood and insulation. Stuff that can irritate your lungs...
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