Pandora I hope that this can help you further in some way, know you did real good.
okay hon, now slow right down and do not panic ok...slow...it is ok, this is not all or nothing or anything like that ok...relax about it please. I know easier said than done but you can...you did so well with it. And will do again. Take your own time on this ok. Read this slow also..ok. You do not have to be overwhelmed by this ok. I know believe me it is better to come at this slow and calm for both your sakes.
Please know you are not alone in what you have experienced and know you are strong and can come through this even now...with your son and his questions. They always manage to get us; 2am my son at three woke up and wanted to know about clouds - one of the better questions and a priceless moment.
I will just say as much as I am one for honesty please be careful with some advice that says tell them everything and then behave like it is ok and not worry, because while we do not want our children to worry, rape is not something that they should ever look on lightly, and this is why we need to be careful in how we frame our experiences to them. In how we react to what they say and how we cope with the aftermath. And that wasnt meant to scare you either ok...sometimes there is none and when that happens that is just so cool.
You done good pand, in how you handled it, and you remembered that we are their parents, and while I also have a very open and honest relationship with my son, there are somethings that they need to know we are also not always able to answer and sometimes they may have to wait until we know what to say ...like me at 2 am re clouds.
And know it is in how we put this to them also, in how we are able to get them to understand that we need to think about something first. As to whether they become confused or concerned beyond their own ability of understanding, and worry more than is really necessary. Because at the end of the day they are our children while they can read us and know more than we think they are also vulnerable and need us to be there for them, and they have much more going on under the surface than we can always read. And it isnt always bad stuff...so again not trying to worry you ok
Believe me we cant always do this as well as we would like, but they have to know we are the ones looking out for them and they can rest easy in our being able to do this. You are amazing pand you really are and these questions you will be able to work through also. And probably far better than most.
I will carry it on for you...just wanted you to know this from me quickly in case anything else comes up before that might make you feel overwhelmed and catch you off guard. I know what children are like he may drop it, but he may have another question. Just know oyu are not alone in this one..it might feel like it but you are not...try never to feel pressured to answer anything if you ever do...slow everything right down to a speed you can cope with. Or even slow it down to a stop.
Either way dont worry take it in your stride and know you did good before and will do again. It can and will work out pand, even if you think you get it wrong, belive me it can still work out.
~fin
more will follow if that is ok...and you are always welcome pand. honestly. I didnt want to overwhelm you with too much of my writing in one go. Hope this is ok for starters.
