2 X Volunteers Required - I Help You, You Help Thousands

[anthony]

After thinking further on my initial announcement, which I felt I did in a rushed manner without really expressing correctly, I have decided to wipe that and change to this announcement, as I just didn't think clearly enough about things in relation to PTSD, and I admit criteria was too narrow. I just wasn't happy with it overall, and the idea of MyPTSD is to suit everyone, not be restrictive. So with more thought, here is the rewrite, being a more inline with the idea of MyPTSD in the first place, without restricting:

What Is The Offer?

I will help you one-on-one heal and recover from your PTSD, in exchange, you are giving me the rights to use that information, in part of full as I see fit, as examples using your text and my responses within MyPTSD.com (or alternative naming) website for it members as examples.

Privacy

The process will be done privately here. The information when posted onto the self help site, will be member only, which means, its not searchable by search engines and a person must register and proceed through the process to see your information and my responses used as examples to give each sufferer an understanding on what they need to be doing. All relevant pages on that site contain a copyright notice that will be enforced if someone ever replicates your personal content.

Things To Think About Before Offering Yourself To This Project

This is not a one hour a week process that drags out for years, this is multiple hours of back and fourth during each week, adding up to many hours, and as symptoms spike, you will no doubt write more and more and your symptoms will spike more and more, taking time to reduce.

If employed, you may have to think about this, because if you have to constantly take weeks away from this process, then you do not really fit what I require at this point for this process, and may instead be better to wait until the site is released and use it at your own pace, thus limiting your exposure to healing and taking a long time to complete vs. a short rapid time.

This will be quite full-on and in your face, you will get worse before getting better, but you will come out the other side though... you will really hate me at times where I will push you to face things. I don't think I've ever worked with someone who didn't hate me at some point within the process, but quickly got over that when they began to see the outcome.

You must really think about this commitment. This is a commitment you're making to recover from PTSD. Depending on your severity overall will depend on how long it takes, but I have never taken longer than 3 - 6 months for the most complex of cases until the person is then pretty much self managing and pushing themselves each day to constantly continue to improve. So the worst of it will be done within that type of time frame.

Support is not essential, but let me just say, it makes your life a whole lot easier. If you have children, partner, all these factors will add into the equation for your decision. If you live next to a crack house, then you may want to think about moving prior to entering this type of commitment, otherwise your outcome will be minimal as you are constantly going to be traumatized.

Secrets are a big no no... and you have to be ready to expose them all, regardless how bad you may feel they are, they will hinder your recovery.

It doesn't matter if you have a personality disorder, or long list of disorders, just be honest with me and I will guarantee (big statement) you will significantly improve if you commit.

Commitment

Isn't that a nasty word? You have to really commit to the process of this, even though you will want to quit at times, you must commit to complete the process which I can guarantee, if you commit, I will work just as hard as you at ensuring you come out the other end of the process in a lot better shape than where you're at now.

How To Apply?

Simple... respond here, summate in a sentence or two, what your trauma is, ie. I was abused physically and emotionally for my childhood, etc. You get the idea. You can summate a lifetime of abuse in one or two sentences. Tell me a little about your current situation, again, one or two sentences, work, family, etc... This gives me an idea on who I choose to cover specific aspects within the MyPTSD website. Most here have complex trauma, simple as that... so trying to find someone with a singular adult trauma is difficult to say the least.

I will read responses here, instead of lucky dip, I will pick those I feel will best cover the requirements I am looking to use within MyPTSD website.

I actually hope I put enough thought into this one to correctly express this mutual offer.

Disclaimer: This is not a therapeutic contract.

 

[The Albatross]

Uuuuggghhhh. Anthony. This is scarey... and not in the member forum. But here you go.... because I admire and respect pretty much everything in the article section and your opinions.

I was a product of two narcissistic parents, one alcoholic, the other passive aggressive with OCD type behaviors and ADD/ADHD. I witnessed domestic violence as a very young child and at around 6... became a victim of child abuse... though not to the extreme that some have had here. Neglect from my mother, scapegoated by my father and was both physically and emotionally abused til my father left at almost 16 and I moved out of my mother's home at 17. As a young child I was targeted by a teen and a girl "friend" and they attempted to physically molest me, but I was able to fight back or cut off the contact. I witnessed at least one serious attempt to hit my mother with a car with me and my brother in it. My mother self mutilated and was chemically insulated on librium and valium... roles reversed, I became the "parent" til she left the state. I have attempted kidnapping by a stranger, stalkers, date rape, sexual assaults, rape by a stranger, and rape during beatings from my first husband. My first marriage I have 5 attempted murders, 4 from my own husband 3 by strangulation and 1 attempt with my brothers shotgun (he pulled the trigger while raising and aiming it at me after he beat me down in the living room and I couldn't get up or try to escape), 1 by strangers in my home who decided the best way to hurt my first husband was to wait for, kidnap and kill me. I have had alcohol substance abuse issues, but have not had any significant difficulty in 2 years.... but it is a focused and conscious effort, a decision not to numb out. I had 65 drinking days last year with less than 10 to excess.

I am under employed, hold part time jobs, and have been unable to work full time in more than 5 years. Before that I was actively isolating in my home for a year and a half. I have vaginismus, painful penetration and no physical intimacy in my marriage... though we are committed partners. Sexual dysfunction. Promiscuous in my 20's, 1st husband sexual sadist, celebate (almost) in marriage with my second husband for the last 10 years. Doctor's opinion (both shrink and Internal medicine) say there is a psychological component due to sexual abuse. This did not manifest until my late 30's, I will be 51 next week. I am working part time, in a committed relationship, my self harming behaviors are alcohol and nicotine, though I do have random suicidal thoughts. I have manifested many of the physical symptoms of PTSD and have a shrink, with a year and a half of treatment for ADD/ADHD... no meds except an allergy pill once a day, enzyme replacement and a multi vitamin. I do have stress reactions, but no flashbacks. I do disassociate after physically threatening situations (I stay present til the life or death stuff is settled then bug out) or when I am in physical pain. I have apnea but am getting REM sleep now... and when I got the mouth orthotic, have had memory retrieval consistently since last October... extremely violent and bizarre at first, but not quite as bad now... it's like I'm retrieving the past traumas. I am depressed about half the time but not on meds, I use nutrition and exercise.

(even if I don't get picked, unless I would have found this forum, I never would have been able to think well enough to do this) Sorry dude, that's not really a few words is it?

 

[Kintsugi]

I was regularly sexually abused between around the ages of 4 and 6 by my brother and approximately a dozen other boys that he implicated in my abuse. I was in an abusive relationship for two years, between the ages of thirteen and fifteen, in which I was frequently raped, psychologically tormented/threatened, light physical abuse outside of sexual abuse, and I was subjected to other forms of abuse, such as intentionally humiliating me, particularly in a way that would bring me back to my trauma--he was 16-18 at the time. He stalked me for about six months after I finally got out of my situation with him (though he had been stalking me for about 4 months before I left anyway).

Since then I have been sexually assaulted a few times and had a few close calls with waking up from drunken blackouts to guys trying to undress, kiss, or fondle me, though I have not been raped since my abusive relationship. I have also been stalked by other people for weeks at a time, but nothing quite as long term.

I live with two close friends for the summer and my fiance comes back in August. I'm unemployed, but if I become employed, it will be part-time and a telecommute so that I can stay with my dog. I am on 100mg of Lamictal. I generally suffer from nightly nightmares, hypervigilance/paranoia, mood swings (usually from fake-happy to real-depressive), occasional self-harm but not for a while now, suicidal thoughts though no serious attempts, and frequent panic attacks, though I haven't had a panic attack in several days (I just got on a therapeutic dosage). I do drugs, mostly pot, coffee, cigarettes, very little alcohol (a beer a day if that). I've just dramatically decreased my pot habit and do not plan on doing any harder drugs within the next few months, as I'm taking time off to reassess my lifestyle. >.<

I am limiting communication to my parents and have severed all contact with my brother until further notice. I have a sister and cousins close by that are supportive as well as some friends in the area. My dog is currently my best friend and keeps me living for the next day every day.

 

[Cheshire]

I guess you could say the majority of my trauma is due to a single adult physical trauma, but the leadup to that particular trauma is a period of domestic abuse that runs through all but physical abuse, covering emotional, financial, etc. I guess that makes it a bit more complex.

Anyway, the basics are that I was in a serious relationship with a man 20 years my senior for six years and he was possessive, controlling, emotionally abusive, etc.. it took me a full year to build both the courage and the resources to leave him, but I did it, and just as I was starting to work through recovery from the domestic abuse, he tried to kill me, stabbing me 25 times in a brutal, frenzied assault in the middle of suburbia.

As far as my current situation goes, I live with my partner who is very supportive and understanding. My mother is also a great source of support and comfort and she lives close by. I do work, but I'm self-employed and I work from home, so I set my own hours and choose my own quantity of work, leaving me free to take extended breaks when I choose to. I'm taking Seroquel and sertraline for diagnosed PTSD, and I'm seeing a new psychologist as of Tuesday next week to start work with them.

 

[ronin47]

You are welcome to use my information if you want. You don't have to give me anything in return for it.

My trauma stems from....

1. Physical, verbal, and emotional abuse from my older brother.
2. Physical, sexual, and verbal abuse from my stepfather.
3. Abandonment and emotional abuse from my father.

...and in that order. It also didn't help that I had a mother who was very emotionally detached, short tempered, and verbally abusive as well.

Currently I'm a struggling college student. My academic performance has the consistency of swiss cheese. However college is also the place I am recieving therapy and medical care from via the Wellness Center and mandated health insurance policy of the school. On summer vacation I work as many as four part time jobs and often have to deal with financial pressure on top of everything else. I also work part time while in school as a tutor. My relationship with my brother was wonderful after he turned 16, and especially after he went through boot camp. However it has degenerated a little as he recently got married (or got a domestic partnership rather) to his girlfriend and I feel like she's replaced me for him. My stepfather and my mother seperated about a year after I started college and I don't see him much anymore. Whenever I do it's cordial and friendly. My biological father got remarried and had twin boys with his new wife. I adore my little brothers but my relationship with my father is still slow to repair. My mother began to finally confront her own trauma and emotional health issues and as a result became a much happier person, as a result by far the most important relationship in the world to me right now is with my mother. I love her more than anything.

My mother is actually the only person in my family who knows about my PTSD diagnosis. She is the only one I talk to about things I do in therapy and my emotional and mental health issues.

 

[cherryblossom]

My trauma is a single incident of stranger rape, and sexual assault at knife point 18 years ago, when I was 20 years old. For years I blocked it out, but eventually symptoms of flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, depression, hyper-vigilance etc etc entered my life, and I was diagnosed with PTSD about 9 years ago.

I live alone, and I'm currently not working, but hoping to get back to work in the next month or so. I have support from family and friends, a Therapist, my GP, a Psychiatrist, a Vocational Support Worker, and I can call upon a CPN (community psychiatric nurse), if I require additional support. I also take several meds, which I want to gradually reduce.

 

[Jade-]

Just a warning to those that are volunteering....anthony saying you will hate him at times is an understatement.You will more than hate him, you will feel like you want to kill him(or yourself) because of some of the things he says. He doesn't sugar-coat anything, he will not be sensitive, cautious or kind.

But once you get over your initial reaction and absorb what he says, you will realize he's right and you will actually be helped.

 

[AngelaMarie]

Ok:
My mother is a child abuser. She abandoned me when I was 3 years old. I have a mentally ill father that won custody then abandoned me after he won custody. However, he came back and kidnapped me a few times and abandoned me in a hotel when I was five. My grandmother took custody of me because she wanted my brother and wanted the money from the military (my father got a section 8) so she wouldn't have to work. I was neglected my entire childhood. I was forced to isolate because I wasn't let out of the house. I skipped school, got pregnant at 16 years old. I have been married to drug abusers, alcoholics. I have been thrown down stairs, stalked, slapped in the face, etc.
That's all I can post at this point.

I don't work. I have long periods where I don't leave the house. I have two boys I am very close to. My husband and I are trying.

 

[amethist]

Oh I so wish my husband would learn to use a PC and join us on here. He so needs Anthony's words of wisdom. ( I am not blowing a trumpet for Anthony here).

I read many replies to my husband, and a lot of your's Anthony. He gets that you do know what your talking about, then comes back with the, "So thats where you got that from".

Amethist

 

[cherryblossom]

Just a warning to those that are volunteering....anthony saying you will hate him at times is an understatement.

I think I said something about this in the previous posting about asking for volunteers. I have had some help from Anthony in the past. As Jade says, his help is most direct and to the point. He WILL piss you off, and he WILL get straight to the point. There will be no room for hiding, or not telling the truth, but it will make a massive difference to your recovery.

Amethist, I really think your hubby would benefit from this forum - are you sure you can't persuade him to join?....

 

[freakofnurture]

Are you looking for complex trauma, too, or only for singular adult trauma? I'm not 100% sure after reading your text.

If the former applies, I might maybe perhaps think about possibly considering if I could want to offer my psyche for this after my hospital stay in june/july. At the moment you seriously scare the sh*t out of me and I'm not sure if I could cope with your approach.

 

[shell]

I am interested. I was abused physically, verbally and emotionally daily by my mother (daily by her recall) from as early as I can remember to age 18. Raped at 15, (recalled memory 2 months ago, flashbacks).

Recently diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression (on antidepressants) and only had about 10 sessions and so far not a lot of improvement. Have not discussed my past at all, other than a discussion about what happened, and what is currently occurring.

Have been told a few times I need to have counselling by doctor (after child birth) and family but only considered it recently when I started getting flooded by memories after surgery and became very upset and not sleeping for about six months.

I had deliberately suppressed most memories (had them age 18) , and although I know what happened, from my own recall, I have only several of the worst memories that replay over and over again, and the recalled ones I'm getting now. Have huge gaps in my memory as a child. Delayed onset of over 20 years, although maybe had it years ago and I ignored it and it's reoccurring ?

I have only 2 subsidized sessions left and then will not be able to afford to fund any more.

Work 30hrs part-time have one child and supportive husband.