D
Deleted member 17696
Hi, I am Rob, I am 20 years old and a trans* man.
I have recently well over the past two years been hit by a load of memories and flashbacks from my past that have been getting a lot worse recently and I am lost and not sure what to do, I seem to get passed around from pillar to post with the mental health professionals each just saying they can't help and sending me around in circles.
As long as I can remember, my granddad had a 'special relationship' with me, at times I thought it was wrong and it didn't feel quite right but it felt just as normal as brushing my teeth so I barely questioned it. But since finding out it is was wrong my life has crumbled completely. Not only did my granddad do stuff to me he used to sell me out to many different people 'love' in exchange for money. Day in day out and post pictures of me on websites some of which are probably still circulating which affects me to this day knowing someone out there could still be looking at pictures of me.
Since about the age of 6 my dad started pushing me around and beating me, he used to make me run drugs as well as cutting and weighing them etc, a 6 year old who would think to stop them and if they did can't get charged right? It got worse when I was 8 when my mom sank into depression I took on the role of the 'housewife' and had to do everything I didn't do it well yeah there were consequences my dad a ex PT instructor in the army used to like to give beastings and all enjoyed watching the effects of chinese water torture and waterboarding as well as using bamboo canes well they were his 3 favourite punishments and you never told because it got worse.
My 'dad' also used to rape my mom in front of me repeatedly, my little brother was a result of my dad raping mom, and me I am the product of my dad selling my mom for a bag of crack so yeah... not good times. I was forced to watch my mom get raped and beaten and beg out for help as I see it now before I believed it was just 'discipline' and 'love' now I know the truth the images haunt me massively.
At the age of 18 I was raped at university by a student who was a lab demonstrator, this event really triggered all the things from my past to the surface and since there has been no break in the images and shit I have to deal with on a daily basis. There is more but I will keep this quite short I guess...
Rob over and out
I have recently well over the past two years been hit by a load of memories and flashbacks from my past that have been getting a lot worse recently and I am lost and not sure what to do, I seem to get passed around from pillar to post with the mental health professionals each just saying they can't help and sending me around in circles.
As long as I can remember, my granddad had a 'special relationship' with me, at times I thought it was wrong and it didn't feel quite right but it felt just as normal as brushing my teeth so I barely questioned it. But since finding out it is was wrong my life has crumbled completely. Not only did my granddad do stuff to me he used to sell me out to many different people 'love' in exchange for money. Day in day out and post pictures of me on websites some of which are probably still circulating which affects me to this day knowing someone out there could still be looking at pictures of me.
Since about the age of 6 my dad started pushing me around and beating me, he used to make me run drugs as well as cutting and weighing them etc, a 6 year old who would think to stop them and if they did can't get charged right? It got worse when I was 8 when my mom sank into depression I took on the role of the 'housewife' and had to do everything I didn't do it well yeah there were consequences my dad a ex PT instructor in the army used to like to give beastings and all enjoyed watching the effects of chinese water torture and waterboarding as well as using bamboo canes well they were his 3 favourite punishments and you never told because it got worse.
My 'dad' also used to rape my mom in front of me repeatedly, my little brother was a result of my dad raping mom, and me I am the product of my dad selling my mom for a bag of crack so yeah... not good times. I was forced to watch my mom get raped and beaten and beg out for help as I see it now before I believed it was just 'discipline' and 'love' now I know the truth the images haunt me massively.
At the age of 18 I was raped at university by a student who was a lab demonstrator, this event really triggered all the things from my past to the surface and since there has been no break in the images and shit I have to deal with on a daily basis. There is more but I will keep this quite short I guess...
Rob over and out
