A Light At The End Of The Tunnel

[Casey_03]

I am in a terrible, hopeless situation that has forced me to whimper and rock back and forth in a corner for the past several days. The prospects of raising a child single-handedly in a foreign country, while my job is at risk and the abusive father of the baby constantly tries to "make me suffer" for keeping the child ... these things pushed me to the brink. But then in my despair I suddenly realized what I want and need to do. I want to help women in my situation. I want to get involved in either social work for abused women or go to law school for the same issue. This is the career that has always been calling me; I just went down a different route initially. Even when I was only 18, when I started working in a lock-up facility, I became a sort of counselor for all the women who passed through. Whenever I sensed that a young girl or woman was in a bad situation, I reached out to them. I ended up saving one from suicide. And when another young girl was being badly abused and was actually held at gunpoint by her abusive boyfriend, I gave her my number and told her to call, that i'd never judge or try to force her to do anything, i'd just listen so that she had someone to talk to. She called a few times just to chat, and while I never ended up rescuing her, I could see how much it meant to her that I was there. It's like I was always meant to help people in such situations. Now, after my own experience with abuse over the years, I am more well-equipped to work in this field than ever. And it would actually mean something to me! It wouldn't be just a paycheck. And while I've been seeing my pregnancy status as a handicap in terms of finding another job, it actually makes me eligible for a lot of scholarships and grants that would allow me to go back to school. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Friday]

I looooooved being a professional student as a single mom. For me, it was the best of all possible worlds (SAHM, WM).

- 10/15 hours of childcare per week on avg vs 50 hours (I only used childcare while my ass was physically in school... I studied during naps & after bedtime)
- Subsidized family student housing
- Subsidized amaaaaaazing childcare & preschool
- A "paycheck" (grants, loans, scholarships) that paid more than I could have made, even before paying for childcare; while my still leaving me time to freelance (especially over breaks), so added money there, without having to depend on freelancing.
- Use brain. Full sentences speak me. LOL. To grown ups. Who very rarely threw up on me or smeared oatmeal in my hair.
- Only 3 days a quarter were mandatory (first day of class, midterms, finals). Every other day I could email my profs, collect/turn in assignments, take as many personal days :banghead: :wtf::inpain::hungover::sleep:as needed. Typically. Competitive degree so some classes were practicum/intense in class time. But that was still nothing compared to working full time.

... And a whole lot of other things that have made me perpetually wonder why people get all
:eek: It would be so hard with a baby in school!:eek:
Ummm. As opposed to partying and school, maybe. But baby & school v baby & working? No contest. At all.

 

[Teasel]

Am so pleased for you having this realisation, sounds so empowering for you, and for others too, fantastic :)
Also, hope a bird shits on his head :)

 

[Changing4Best]

WOW! This is great news, about the scholarships and all. I hope it is OK for me to pray for you? I am praying for you and your wonderful future right now!

 

[J_trustno1]

Sorry to hear about the abuse you had to go through. I'm happy that you have found your passion and are able to pursue it regardless of the circumstances. I'm proud of you for not running away but facing your situation. You're a great mother and this will teach your child how to be independent and your kid is going to be proud of their brave mama :) :hug:s.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, I second that motion about you're being a great mother. It is most commendable what you are doing and plan to do for your child.