Relationship A Little Awkward

[Serasen]

I apologize in advance if this is too racy or is inappropriate but I have no one else that will open up and talk to me about this.

My H (unlike a lot I have read about on here) has almost always been really affectionate when he is feeling well. We have both said we've never experienced what we have with anyone else.

Lately though, things have changed. He's talking more about his ptsd with me and others he trusts. He has also started wanting sex more often. I have learned that I CAN say no when I am totally not into it. It doesn't happen often but before I would have thought he would leave me if I said no. :unsure: But he is also spending a lot of time watching porn on the computer. I mean, it's gotten bad. I was aware of this in the past and honestly wasn't completely opposed to it if it was a precurser to us having sex. But lately he has spent so much time just sitting there getting himself off for hours at a time. I'll be doing laundry or cooking and he'll just start looking at it and doing his thing. :eek: I don't know what to say to him but I feel like it's getting really unhealthy. It's no longer about us. He has said he does it a lot when he's bored but he started doing it the other day as soon as he got up. When I asked if he needed any help (haha) he said "nah, i'm just bored". He just woke up!! I called bull**it in my head on that one.

What can I do about this? I have conceded on a lot of things in the past but this is getting to the point where I feel like it is threatening our marriage. I've considered that this is just an outlet. And it's not anything horrible or disturbing that he's looking at. Still, how can I bring up the subject that I am not ok with this? It's making me not want to have sex with him at all anymore. (shakes head)

 

[Bjw]

Hi Serasen,

I too have had the same issue. I have recently posted here about my husbands PTSD affair. It all stratred abround 8 years ago when we got a computer. You know how things pop up about dating sites, porn etc I was the first to click on it to see. It was our private computer and felt comfortable. I called him in and said OMG check this out?? I closed it down, never one to be motivated by porn... we just laughed. Well from that time he started looking at porn himself every now and again, then the dating sites started. He got what I think (only now trying to understand) gratification out of chatting to other women who didn't know him or his background - he could pretend to be who ever he wished. Just recently he like your husband started masturbating to porn, it was like an addiction!! As soon as I would leave the house to drop the kids off or go to the shops or even be asleep at night he would be there!! I tried talking with him about it and he kept saying men are different to women and we require regular maintenance (and for him to curb his "angry")

I suggest to you to nip this in the bud NOW as I would say to my husband you are creating a temptation.

He went on to persue girls at the airport on his way to work get their emails and talk with them agin as a character, he was gentle then he was this sex crazed thing?? I don't know him. He did just recently have sex with a women who had been chasing him for sometime, but he also kept the communication going. I was pregnant with our 3rd child and he is now saying he has promblems PSTD!!! I wouldn't want anyone to feel the pain I am feeling nor be faced with such a choice of whether to stay or go or if this really is a flow on effect from his mental state. I am trying to understand???

Good luck, I hope you husband can see how this makes you feel and that it needs to stop and he should seek some help.

Bj