A Simple Question "are You Okay?" But No Simple Answer-

[Snowflake]

Growing up it was not OK to be sick or hurt. In fact I was usually punished severely -(locked in closets, further abuse) I mean we were very poor and if my parents lost time from work and/or took me to the doctor it would risk a secret being exposed. So I grew up taking care of ME if sick or hurt. It was a safe way to survive. As an adult I rarely complain or lose time from work for illness. So this past week I had a lumpectomy and I am out of work for a week. Ugh....this is proving to be difficult for many reasons -work is my escape, like a mask covering my wounds (past) yet I'm pissed I can't even find the strength to reach out for something-I don't know what. I'm depressed-in the past 3 wks I have I have been diagnosed with cancer and had surgery. My therapist didn't even call and leave a message to see how I was-(yes a boundary issue I'm sure). I saw my mom today and stayed 10 minutes-there was nothing, no sympathy, nothing! I felt triggered -felt like that small child, sick, wanting to be held and taken care of. Part of me wants to text everyone I know and say help-I'm depressed-but that shows how weak I am. I mean I survived sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse-I can survive cancer.....right?

 

[City Slicker]

You are very brave @Snowflake - I don't think we ever outgrow the desire or need to have what you expressed above, someone to take care of us, tell us it's going to be ok, tell us they will be there with us, they are thinking about us, we matter, they care...

Sometimes it feels like the braver we are the less sense the need makes. But it makes sense. Maybe the healthier we get the more we feel the need, especially when we are going through something huge. Maybe that's a good thing?

 

[Deleted member 541]

It's not a bad thing to reach out for help. Actually if you are depressed, reaching out to a friend that understands depression would be a good thing.

Once again..... you were just diagnosed with cancer, you just had surgery, you are facing possible radiation or chemo..... give yourself a break here. You are not superwoman, your emotions are all over the place for a good reason, and you probably need a hug... or two. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

 

[Ronin]

I mean I survived sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse-I can survive cancer.....right?

Damned straight.

With a lot of resting, self care, care, and more care. Strength.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

You can and you will survive.

Reaching out is okay. In fact, wanting support and love is normal and healthy and a sign of your strength. It is okay to ask for it!

 

[pixel]

you probably need a hug... or two. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

... or six or seven! ;)

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Snowflake Have been meaning to check in.... How are things going????

@pixel Yeah, I can't count!!! Lol.

 

[Snowflake]

@Snowflake Have been meaning to check in.... How are things going????

Doing okay-I go back to work tomorrow, see radiologist Tuesday, I assume 2nd surgery Thursday and I was suppose to see oncologist Friday

 

[Deleted member 541]

Hang I hang in there. This has to be tough to face yet again, but It's better to have them go back in if they need to get a clean margin. :hug:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have this "i want my mommy" feeling a lot. Last night actually. That never goes away. The feeling that we want someone to hold us and tell us it will all be ok. No matter how much of a survivor we are. And cancer is a big BIG thing to be going through first off but im sure impossible feeling alone. I know it doesnt mean much but we're here. Im here! :hug:

 

[Snowflake]

I have this "i want my mommy" feeling a lot. Last night actually. That never goes away. Th...

Thank you I appreciate it.

 

[Snowflake]

I have this "i want my mommy" feeling a lot. Last night actually. That never goes away. Th...

Struggling right now in therapy. All work with childhood abuse is on hold till I get through the treatment/surgery stuff. I am not sure how I feel.