General Simple question, why does therapy make you feel worse?

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

But there are also people who make a ton of progress and feel a lot better in some areas. Don’t be too worried. It’s a process. It’s a self-discovery journey that just really sucks at times. It won’t be awful all the time. It’ll fluctuate. And if it’s continually bad for your partner you may wish to see if another therapist or therapy is a better fit. It shouldn’t make you feel terrible constantly.

This is great advice and really useful to know.
Thank you!
Would be fabulous if it was straight forward, but it’s nothing like that at all.

My love always go out to all of you sufferers x

@Zoogal
It really does screw up everything.

 

[Gs172003]

There are several books on the subject of dealing with PTSD in a relationship.It might help put things in perspective.

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

On this website? Or elsewhere? Can you recommend please? I checked some links out on the website too, they were helpful.

 

[Gs172003]

On this website? Or elsewhere? Can you recommend please? I checked some links out on the web...

On Amazon. The one I have is The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy Dead Link Removed

 

[UnicornSightings]

I know some people go with their partner to therapy. I mean, you can’t be privy to everything there of course but a session or two maybe to help understand what’s coming up and how you can be supportive. That’s if your partner would consider that. I’m so sorry this is difficult for both of you! It’ll be a test for sure.

 

[EveHarrington]

A decade-ish in and therapy still makes me worse.

This shit ISN’T fun!

But, that doesn’t mean I’m not getting better.

Not to be rude but as someone who has been through a lot of actual trauma therapy I disagree with much of what @UnicornSightings has said. I think it’s because she hasn’t ever been in actual trauma therapy and therapy with a non-trauma therapist is different.

 

[Suzetig]

The culture in the UK around therapy is vastly different to that in the States.

Most people here don't spend years in therapy, even for trauma, they go to do a particular piece of work and then leave, so don't think it'll necessarily be a long ride for either of you. It's part of the Ts job to help you leave when it's time. I'd also be surprised if a T here was comfortable with you sitting in with your partner for sessions. They might, but it would be with a very clear purpose and most likely a one off, and part of that discussion would be around why you/he feels it's necessary. It's part of the Ts job to help open up effective communication by supporting your other half to talk to you about whatever they need to, not to get involved in that communication.

Things get worse before they get better because your partner has dedicated time to look at stuff that is very painful, opening old wounds is hard but beneficial in the long run. His T should be helping him pace the work within his tolerance levels though so if you think he's too off kilter talk to him about it.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Not to be rude but as someone who has been through a lot of actual trauma therapy I disagree with...

Everyone’s situation is different though because every person handles their trauma in a different way. I wouldn’t scare the OP and make a statement that it could be 10 plus years. You don’t even know what trauma the partner is dealing with.

 

[BoyfriendqwithPTSD]

Really interesting answers.

All I really know about his therapy at the moment is:

He’s seeing a high intensity therapist, he’s having trauma related CBT therapy (approx 12 session,1 hour in total) he has had the task to re-live the events and talk through his thought process. And he’s been feeling worse after therapy.

 

[Gs172003]

Really interesting answers.

All I really know about his therapy at the moment is:

He’s s...

And he will. Just thinking about DOING that stresses me out.

 

[Suzetig]

actual trauma therapy and therapy with a non-trauma therapist is different.

Again, the culture in the UK is very different from that in the US in that we don't tend to have people who use the designation of "trauma therapist". My T has over 20 years experience in working with trauma and doesn't call herself a trauma therapist - while working very effectively with trauma.

Therapy is one of those areas where there really are pond differences.

 

[Freida]

A lot of it depends on how much trauma there is. Is it one or two things that happened a couple of years ago, decades of child abuse, multiple combat deployments, etc?

You have to dig up everything that caused it, look at it, discuss how it affected you, discuss side effects you today in your life, discuss how you're going to do in the future, blah blah blah

It is exhausting, horrifying, mind draining, hurts your heart. Some treatments like EMDR require that you relive the actual experience and that's a whole bunch of fun

I would guess that's the most frustrating things about PTSD therapy. There's so many unanswered questions about how it works when it works why it works and how it's going to affect you as it works

I'm really glad you're starting therapy for yourself too because that will make it easier for the relationship