Other Abduction, Coercive Control Recovery, offender prison release

[dharmaBum]

I first used this forum in 2009 and have introduction/trauma diary, etc. Now: A sadistic offender who abducted/coerced/sexually abused me as a child and returned me with no one the wiser is incarcerated in my small town with access to local media (newspapers & radio stations). I run a business with public events and volunteer often in the community, keeping my name almost entirely out of print and not advertising/seeking coverage in any way. This is harmful to my business growth, but I am wild with worry over what will happen if this offender incidentally discovers we now live only miles apart. "We" have a long history, and I was a key witness in his current incarceration which was scheduled to end 5/22/24 at his Earned Release Date, but he is electing to stay in prison until October 2032. He can change his mind at any time in between, it seems.

He's been in this prison for 10 years, and I have been (and was hoping to continue to) keeping my head down until May, but now that he has decided to stay I'm quite distraught, rather than relieved. He maintained secrecy of his abduction and years of abuse through strong physical and coercive control. Sometimes I can't explain why I'm worried about him, because it is all very emotional and confusing. I'm trying to work with the prison advocate to feel safer, but if a prisoner doesn't make specific threats, it appears there is nothing to be done.

I'm looking for others who have been abducted as children to connect with and learn about some things I can do to recover from this element. I've lived many years in fear, avoiding him, moving away from our shared neighborhood, keeping my name off the internet and scrubbing incidental references. I am on Facebook, they actually refused to remove him because he is still in prison and therefore not yet the Level III sex offender he will be released as. Instead they insisted I use my legal name rather than a nick name. I can't always tell if I'm scared about what might actually happen or if I'm still just terrified because of what did happen.

I only have a brief moment to post now, but I'm having trouble finding resources for recovery from abduction and coercive control. Thank you in advance, for reading this. I hope to contribute as able to other discussions.

 

[anthony]

Welcome back... yet sorry that you're back, all at the same time. You know what I mean I will assume!

I have been (and was hoping to continue to) keeping my head down until May

Did you expect him to leave the area upon release?

but now that he has decided to stay I'm quite distraught, rather than relieved

You said you were planning on keeping your head down until May... but you seem confused now. Why?

because it is all very emotional and confusing

Warranted.

What were you expecting to happen when he was released in May that is any different from you just moving on with your life regardless of his location?

 

[dharmaBum]

Did you expect him to leave the area upon release?

Yes. I moved 100 miles to get away from him and his family/friends. He got incarcerated to the town I moved to. When released, he's supposed to go back to the town 100 miles away.

You said you were planning on keeping your head down until May... but you seem confused now. Why?

Right- confusing wording as well. Keeping my head down until May for 10 years, and then he gets sent home and I don't have to keep my head down and worry about crossing paths.

What were you expecting to happen when he was released in May that is any different from you just moving on with your life regardless of his location?

Yeah- I definitely had acclimated to the plan that I would try and fly under his radar for 10 years, and then he would be released with supervision back to his home town, unable to travel, monitored by the state, etc. For some time I had acclimated to the possibility that he would seek retribution regardless and I tried to live without worrying since I can't stop his retribution. But then when I started a business and considered advertising, radio interviews etc, I couldn't take the step to be so "named" without immobilizing anxiety.

So I've been going along unnamed and I was looking forward to the relief of him leaving. Kind of like a crocodile or something- like he will go after what is in his path but he won't try too hard to seek after something that is out of his way. It's all nonsense I think. I'm still not over the fact that he had been determined a Sexually Violent Predator with lifetime commitment, but a law changed while he was in appeal, the case was retried, and he would have got it again at trial, so he took a plea and downgraded to Level III. Which right now there are 350 out of 7.8 million population (.004%). Sexually Violent Predators there are 40 out of 7.8 million (.0005%).

But exactly Anthony, this is why I am looking for some treatment strategies for folks surviving abduction and coercive control, because it doesn't make sense. Maybe increased self-defense skills are a great way forward.

 

[anthony]

When released, he's supposed to go back to the town 100 miles away.

Ahhhh.... makes sense now.

and then he would be released with supervision back to his home town, unable to travel, monitored by the state, etc.

Is that not the case if and when he chooses to leave himself? Is he allowed to choose where he remains or does he have to return to his home town?

I get it now... better understood. Thanks. Yer... not sure self-defense skills will help in essence, when a gun from six feet away steps around all those measures and is readily available in the US. A lot to process, for sure. Many questions, many theories, many hypothesis could be thought about what he already knows or does not know, and whether he feels reformed or is plotting revenge.

Not sure what the right move is... but I hope you solve something so you can just live life as it should be lived.

 

[dharmaBum]

Is that not the case if and when he chooses to leave himself? Is he allowed to choose where he remains or does he have to return to his home town?

Indeed- he is supposed to go back to his hometown no matter what, but in our current town, many believe the state dumps these offenders. The local rate of Level III (most-dangerous released to public) is .06% compared to .004% statewide. One has to trust and believe the Department of Corrections will follow through with policy.

Not sure what the right move is... but I hope you solve something so you can just live life as it should be lived.

Thanks- agreed. Far too much time spent in anxiety/flashbacks over this dude. Currently the variability of when he gets out of prison and having him be the one who decides feels unstable. The policy is to do "safety planning" based around a release date. I'm in the process of seeing if they will do safety planning, but since he is clever enough to not make direct threats, my hopes are low that they will offer safety planning.

 

[dharmaBum]

I get it now... better understood. Thanks. Yer... not sure self-defense skills will help in essence, when a gun from six feet away steps around all those measures and is readily available in the US. A lot to process, for sure. Many questions, many theories, many hypothesis could be thought about what he already knows or does not know, and whether he feels reformed or is plotting revenge.

Yes- and he already has a history of weapons, numerous felonies, specific abduction fantasies. Diagnosed pedophilia and borderline personality disorder. In our system, he has to act out in prison and be an obvious uncontrollable risk for the state to step in based on his pled-down charges. Slow-burner risks who are just waiting for their chance are simply the release-risk reality we have to deal with.

 

[dharmaBum]

Some relief today from coordinated efforts with the local advocacy center and the prison victim liaison:

1. They can provide cameras for my business and home (won't stop anyone from being terrible, but it's also virtually impossible to get follow up without evidence)

2. No matter when he chooses to release, he has to have an approved residence and meet other requirements (I've asked to be informed what they are. Don't know if DOC will tell me)

3. The info share between the advocate and the prison liaison and me goes better if I don't talk to the prison liaison. The liaison is supposed to be victim-centered: that is their entire job, but this one has a bedside manner that is not a good fit. A previous one when he was first moved to my town would answer any questions right away on the phone. The new one makes unnecessarily dismissive comments on the phone and exceptionally short answers in email. Only tending to one of several questions with no follow up, so that I have to email repeatedly.

4. Nothing can be done about the 30 days notice, and everyone thinks it is too little time to make a safety plan.