Advice heading off a breakdown

[Abstract]

Hi all,
This is sort of new to me for a few reasons but I think I'm heading there and I am finding it hard to connect with relevant coping strategies. I have had a couple of pretty big breakdowns in the past with a combination of severe depression and PTSD symptoms playing a part. Difference this time is that I don't think depression is a major factor for me at present. I also have my ptsd symptoms fairly well contained (although am very hypervigilant and having new emotional flashbacks). I am physically and mentally exhausted. I can't really discern what it is that is sending me over the edge at present. How can depression not be part of this stuff. Not at crisis point yet but have just realised I need to step this up otherwise may be in trouble.

 

[shimmerz]

Do you have a sense of what keeps you generally stabilized Abstract?

With this thought that you are sliding downwards, are you able to focus on self care activities at all? You say you are exhausted. Are you sleeping more to give your body a break or are you trying to keep doing what you normally do when you are feeling better?

 

[Abstract]

Thanks so much @shimmerz . I normally work really hard on recovery and management but have hit a bit of a wall. I am not sleeping and can't get to do it. A slept for a few hours last night but the night before 1 and the night before that it didn't happen at all. The hypervigilence has my body going a hundred miles an hour. I am surrounded by negative politics which tend to up my symptoms and I don't have the choice of getting away from them at present. Probably for a year.

 

[Suzetig]

So it sounds like you need to slow your system down. A lot. If you can’t sleep, rest at every opportunity- when I was in that place I’d nap all the time, by which I mean I would lie on my bed with the radio on quietly and just be. If you can reduce your workload at work or at home in any way, do it. Ask folk for help or let your standard slip a bit.

Get into the habit of doing breathing exercises morning and night. Slow breathing in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4 repeat 4 times is a good one because it’s easy to remember. Also do some form of here and now practice (at my worst the most I could do was eat chocolate mindfully - doing my nails was good to because each step took 5 mins, which was all the attention I could manage) , keep drawing on whatever usually keeps you grounded. At one point I literally had a list of 5 things I did for self care daily (as basic as get up and shower, read one chapter of a book, go outside the house for 5 minutes) - I would tick them off as I went to keep me in some kind of routine.

It’s not easy, and you’ll feel you’re pushing against yourself but doing something to actively manage your feelings will help at least slow things down so you can think.

 

[hithere]

I'm really sorry you feel this way, and realize you may be headed toward a breakdown. I have no idea why I'm going to ask this, but were you ever held against your will as an adult or child? Something you wrote made me think of that. A need to escape or something. ?? has your diet changed? have you started taking supplements that are new? I ask because vitamin B12 sent me into the abyss once until my husband figured out it was b12 supplements causing my spiral. I'm only using that as an example...

 

[joeylittle]

Just seconding @Suzetig’s idea to just rest, even if you aren’t going to sleep. Taking the pressure off of trying to sleep, giving yourself permission to just lay down and rest - it can help a great deal.

A year is a long time to be stuck inside of an environment that is a stressor. Asking not to argue, just to challenge - are you certain you are unable to get any breaks away from that environment?

If you can’t - it will be important to develop routines that help you separate from the work environment. It would be a good time to put some self-care routines into place. How are you doing with eating and exercise?