Alcohol Relapse And Ptsd

[zombie squirrel]

After going almost an entire month without having a drink, I gave in today. I woke up from a nightmare feeling incredibly dirty and degraded. I tried taking a shower, cleaning my apartment, listening to music, working out, the whole nine yards and nothing made it better. I even tried calling my friend, which is something I almost never do. Finally I said "f**k it" and went to the liquor store. I am so disappointed in myself.

I finally decided that my drinking was out of control this summer, poured it all out, and started going to a support group for people with drug and alcohol problems. I have never been able to bring myself to talk in the group, though, because talking about my drinking would mean talking about the underlying problems that contribute to it. At the same time, I wish I had some kind of support. Obviously you have to actually participate in a support group for it to help, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

It seems like every time I'm actually doing well my trauma comes back to bite me in the a** and I end up drinking again. However, I know that my drinking habits are fully my responsibility and that my PTSD is no excuse for relapsing. I guess I've just been having a really hard time lately. Does anyone have any advice or experience with quitting drinking and PTSD symptoms?

 

[Ted Moen]

Not unusual. Relapse is a fact of life for people wit PTSD. No matter how much we progress there are times when our symptoms will overwhelm us and we will do something counterproductive to the process of learning to live better with PTSD. Don't beat yourself up. Just take a deep breath and get back to the process of learning to live better with PTSD. Getting off alcohol is a huge first step. Congratulations! Keep at it! Next step is a good therapist specialized in trauma and developing a support structure. This forum is a good start. Lot of good support and information here. You're doing good, zombie squirrel ;)

Ted

 

[Srain]

This forum is a good start. Lot of good support and information here. You're doing good, zombie squirrel ;)

I agree and what a great step you made to actually get out and go to a support group. Then when you had woke up you took all the right steps by calling your friend. Things don't happen overnight and it sounds like you have a clear idea of how it's all connected.That is insightful and all going keep you going the right direction towards healing.

I realize it can be so very difficult seeming like "just when I start to feel good again WHAM!". Those are the times I take to see my tdoc and figure out how best to protect myself from doing things that I find trip me up or are self-destructive to my recovery from PTSD and the symptoms that sideline my life.

Handling PTSD issues does not necessarily have to mean diving in head first. Just taking the step to say what you did here is all forward. Keep going.

Peace,
Rain

 

[The Albatross]

Congratulations Zombie Squirrel on your almost month of sobriety. Congratulations for finding and attending a support group. If that alone, attendance, got you almost a month... I'd say that is a pretty good thing even if you aren't able to bring yourself to actively participate. Snap it into perspective: Abstaining, support group say 30 days sobriety times 12... that is only 12 drinking relapses... and over 350 sober days.

But... for your body to heal and detox from heavy or alcoholic drinking... a longer term goal, would not be achieved perhaps without active participation. Your wish to have some support conflicts with your wish to share more openly. Focus on your goal, don't over think it and do the best you can. You did a lot of things before you headed to the liquor store... shower, cleaning, music, calling a friend for support. Those are all great things to do instead of drink. Don't be discouraged, recommit, self reflect and choose your goals... get back to your support group and you can beat booze. I'm glad you also came here to share about it and get some feedback.

 

[KP the nut]

(((ZombieSquirrel)))

Wow, a month without alcohol is huge. You are doing good, acknowledging a problem and doing something about it. Be proud of what you achieved. You had a bad nightmare, you tried different strategies to cope and eventually sort out alcohol. Please try not to be hard on yourself, it happened. Next time and I guess there will be a next time, your strategies may work and imagine how you will feel then.

As with everything else, small baby steps, one day at a time.

Wishing you peace
KP

 

[Shay62]

Thanks for the encouragement. I also have a alcohol and drug problem. I'll be sober for a year in Nov. I feel like a real loser when I relapse and even way after I stop. I know PTSD shouldn't be used as an excuse but its hard coping and finding the right help. I do try. The relapses really get to me but from what y'all said it helps me not be so hard on myself. I am also going to look harder for the right counselor/therapist. Thanks

 

[zombie squirrel]

Thank you so much for your responses! I went to that support group again today and I actually managed to participate a little bit, so I guess that's a start.

 

[Srain]

Great job!! I'm glad to for the update :)

Hang in there, thinking of you.
Peace and strength,
Rain