DID All things did - dissociative identity disorder : did - our shared journey

[epaklt]

Quite a journey your going through. It must be comforting to finally call her by her rightful name and work through your map a little more. Sounds like your hubby is supportive too, congrats another of those steps you mentioned earlier..:-)

 

[Pixie]

I have been on such a journey lately and as usual, all the chaos and lost time and confusion has all resolved itself to some degree of understanding and comfort and learning. I read a book called "The Stranger In The Mirror". It speaks of dissociative disorders by a specialist psychiatrist and is really eye opening. I even did the questionnaires as best I could (having alters taking over really makes any sort of "all the time" answers very difficult!) and through that, became even more aware of my situation and what I need to do to get to some better level of functioning.

 

[Pixie]

Today, my psych said that I am doing really well and making great progress in this which is great encouragement. Since my diagnosis of DID, I feel like I have been moving forward in leaps and bounds... not that it is all roses though. It is hard work, confusing and painful at times... but I hope with better understanding and by improving my management skills, I'll be able to function in some sense... but unlike most, I will always need to manage my alters and their needs and balance them with what needs to be done in the "outside" world...

 

[Pixie]

This is so hard. I began re reading the book and got to thinking about revisiting the writings that were written when we were a teenager and what I found shocked me to my very core. Now that I am aware of exactly what is considered abnormal dissociation and severe, I was shocked to find writings expressing this "brokenness" and "separated" feelings that I had even back then. Little poems discussing myself as a mosaic or describing people or the world as surreal, chaotic emotional states and lots of "who am I" type questions... it sometimes sucks when things click into place, and the worst part of it is, that the earliest writings I have are from when I was only 14 years old and already describing these things in detail. It makes me sad that this girl was already broken so young. My DID is not something "new" in my life. It is an explanation that took a further 18 years before being properly diagnosed...