Am I Allowed Here?

[Ben]

Guess I ought to introduce myself, even though I've made a couple of posts already.

Like most of you, I deal with the symptoms of PTSD, and have for almost forty years. Without going into too much detail, I lived under psychological stress for most of my later childhood and teen years. I've coped, and most outsiders would say I have a successful life and happy marriage (no kids by choice), but life isn't easy. After about ten years of safety, the panic attacks finally went away on their own, but most of the other symptoms are still here. It takes a lot of will-power to act normal, and a lot of self-control to force oneself to do things that others like my wife seem to find easy. There are good days and bad days. I've learned lots of tricks to decrease the pain. But it's wearing, year after year.

I've been lurking for a while, reading about others' experiences, and that's probably the greatest help here, to see that I'm not alone. I've healed more than some, and less than others, but it's reasuring to know that others are struggling in their own places on the same path.

I'd like to see a therapist sometime, but I don't understand how anyone can afford the cost, unless they're wealthy. I'm in the US, and though I have medical insurance, it doesn't cover outpatient therapy.

Maybe I'm not allowed here, though. I tried to get a diagnosis from a therapist once, and she couldn't find anything diagnosable. I don't meet the DSM-IV criteria for PTSD, as I mentioned in the "C-ptsd information" thread, because I was never threatened with physical harm, but the therapist couldn't find any other diagnosis that fit my symptoms, which she admitted were just what she'd expect from PTSD.

The PTSD club seems like a closed one, that I'm not invited to, until CPTSD gets put in the DSM; then I'll have something "real" wrong with me. If it's required for a person to be diagnosed with PTSD (or be a carer/therapist for those with PTSD) to be here, well, it's pretty clear I don't fit and I'll look for someplace else.

 

[Zipperhead]

(C)PTSD is usually used to describe cases where the trauma was a series of events, and not just one incident to which the condition is attributed. As such, any one incident within the abuse could in itself justify the diagnosis of PTSD. Was your therapist experienced in PTSD related issues? What exactly does Psycological Stress mean? Did the experience fit the profile that a reasonable person would have felt tht thier life, or the life of others was in jeapardy?

As far as this being an exclusive club goes, well, there isn't really a line up of people waiting for the honour of belonging. If the issues on here can in anyway help you deal with your situation then feel free to read and ask questions. Allot of people on here do not have diagnosis due to lack of medical coverage. So if this site helps you learn, then that is what it's all about. I would suggest though, if at all possible, that you see a qualified specialist and get a proper diagnosis. Just knowing exactly what was going on has helped me allot in dealing with my situation.

 

[Sandra]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[adrenalinejunkie]

Hi Ben,

Therapy and medication saved my life. If you don't have health insurance, does your city have a local mental health clinic where you could talk to someone for a free or reduced price?

AJ

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Ben, welcome to the forum. My GP has never come right out and said I have PTSD either. She just stops short and just calls it PTS. I did ask her about this and she said there basically no difference, yeah right. I was referred to a T and he did think it was PTSD and treated me for PTSD.

I'm now out of T and managing my symptoms on my own. However this forum continues to be such a support with imformation, support and friendship. It is a huge help to know that you are not alone.

If we can help then stick around, no pressure and post as and when you are able.

I'm in England so not up with clinics in the US, I do know some churches have counsellors which can help.

Glad to meet you
KP

 

[The Albatross]

Welcome Ben, glad you're here.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Ben,

I too have the CPTSD that does not exist. It is weird but I was given that diagnosis and I accepted it. Not being in the DSM makes no difference to the way I am or how I feel!

As others have said, you are still welcome, and if the advice and support on here helps then that is great. Nobody is checking up on who has what diagnosis, I think the guidelines/ divisions are there just to make finding the right topics easier. Yes, nobody on here will tell you whether or not you have any particular diagnosis - it is always recommended that you seek professional support as well as using the forum. However I acknowledge that you have already shared your difficulties with that. I hope one of the suggestions in earlier posts might help you find therapy.

Regards
Lucy x

 

[ParanoidsWife]

Welcome, Ben - I'm new here, also, but as a spouse to someone with PTSD. Therapy is really great and meds, if they actually help you instead of making you numb to where you can't feel anything at all. If you have to pay out-of-pocket, then have you thought about alternative treatments like acupuncture, reiki, tai chi, etc.?? They really helped my husband A LOT. So, if you have to pay anyway, maybe give that a try?? Just saying . . . :whistling:

 

[BloomInWinter]

Welcome to the forum, Ben.

Until about 3 years ago, I'd have said I didn't qualify for my diagnosis or be able to afford therapy, either.

Then, the memories crashed through, the walls came down....and I became so symptomatic I couldn't handle it anymore.

Now, I'm recovering memories. I felt such shame at this diagnosis....now I feel lucky I have documentation showing I do.

I decided my family needed me to heal more than other things. It is a huge drain on our finances, but better than the many alternatives.

You may have traumas you don't remember...keep reading, sharing, and trusting yourself to find your way. Hang in there...