Am I Being Delusional?

[Tanishq]

I have been on this forums from last two years. I am still undiagnosed. I am trying my best to deal with my issues. Last week, I have had more time to feel better with myself. So today I sat to have a look at my things and symptoms I have. I know I need therapist to treat this all issues.

I wrote down what I feel. It looks I have fixed sleep. I am able to go bed early when I wish. I am getting sleep without trouble. It rarely happens that I stay awake.

Last month I decided to wake up with good mood, now I have begun to wake up with good mood. I say Good Morning universe when I wake up, I setup this to deal with anxiety/heavy head. It seems it is clicking. It is helping me.

I could let go anger this week, right now I can let go off it without getting very frustrated. I don't engage with anger. I don't know how I did this. I didn't follow any technique. I just went for it and right now I can deal with anger things. At least it has become manageable for me. I used to stay angry for hours, right now I have begun to let it go off.

I am also able to hang on with positive thoughts. This is why I have been more feel good time this week.

Today I kept feeling I will be healed fully within next 1-2 years. This thought sure makes me feel good and releases all worries. It feels like assurance. Now it has made me wonder am I daydreaming? being delusional? :confused:

 

[Spiderallis]

I'm not sure what you'd consider 'healed fully', but you've made great progress thus far. I wouldn't call it daydreaming or delusional, sounds more like a positive outlook and a sense of hope. As much as I've struggled with sleep issues and anger I'm amazed that you've been dealing with those things on your own.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I congratulate you on setting goals practicing new behaviors and getting positive outcomes. I don't know if we can being 100% cured but I admire your optimism!!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Delusional, no. But I think its important to realize that many of us go through good periods and such, some even going so far as to proclaim that they are healed after feeling good for a month, only to come back later and realize that it was just a part of the PTSD cycle. I am not saying that you aren't getting better or that you won't heal, rather, I think it is important to see that this dang disorder oftentimes hits in waves. Feeling better is a part of healing, but you may go through a period where you feel bad again. I don't want you to feel discouraged if another one of these bad waves hits you again. Hold on to the fact that you do have times when you feel better. That's what keeps me going....seeing that I do have the good times, and being prepared when another bad time hits. Of course many people say this is negativity, but honestly, having your head high in the clouds and denying the possibility of a downturn just makes it all that much harder if/when hits you. Knowing it is a cycle helps me battle it even more. I hope this makes sense. But yes, I do believe you are healing!

 

[Tanishq]

@Spiderallis I meant to get rid off those patterns which hurts me very much to live this life. No, I wasn't alone in this all struggle, I have some forum friends here who helped me to stay positive to fix what was approachable first. That always keeps me motivated. Thank you for your encouraging opinion. I am grateful to have friends here. :)

@KwanYingirl Now that I have fixed sleeping patterns, I am starting to believe fears can be beaten. Other issues such as hypervigilant, anxiety and high stress have the same root. Fear. For some reason, I feel this is beatable. So I am going for it now. Thank you for your support.

@Solara yes, you are right. I remember symptoms started showing back in 2011. Half 2011 my whole sleep pattern was reversed. I was sleeping during day and was being awake during night. Somehow, Jan 2012 I fixed this. Then different issue started, I was finding hard to find some sleep. Used to stay up to late. Like going to bed around 4 am and sleep all morning.

Thank you for explaining the "wave" analogy. Yes, it does seem to come in wave. You do seem strong to me and aware of what may come to you. I am thinking if we have coping tools then we can handle this. This is what I am believing. Thank you for your opinion.

Thank you all for validation. I want to stay down the earth and grounded. :)