Anger In Disassociation

[crazyhorse69]

@crazyhorse69
This resonates with me, thanks.

Thanks, I've been dealing lately with alot of self hatred, self loathing and to be honest, I don't feel alive emotionally, I feel completely numb, completely withdrawn from being close to anyone, walling myself in, in this put of inner shit, going around and around in my own head, hurting those who love me so much, pushing people who love me away, by my weak, pathetic needy attitude, but on the other side, I honestly need a good bit of time to myself, to make my own routine, to do my own things, without judgement or ridicule of any kind, if you want to join in and go along great, but if not, great as well. Dealing with alot of guilt, feeling right now that nothing I do is ever good enough or right, feeling this inner idea of perfectionism seems to be dominating my mind, this false idea of perfectionism, as if I never measure up, never goo enough, always f*cking up etc etc.

 

[crazyhorse69]

Give or take? But mostly it's like a default, like I'm overwhelmed and I can't take it and I snap but no one...

It's probably a old defensive or survival behavior that fit a previous time frame in your life, but now it's really out of place, at least your aware of it now and can talk it through with other's and get viable alternatives and options besides what you've previously been doing