Anger In Disassociation

[ssw]

So.

When I disassociate I almost always become uncontrollably angry shortly after I start initially disassociate.

Would anyone know why? Is it common or is it something psychological?

 

[ladee]

@ssw , for me, getting very very angry will throw me into disassociation. Something happened recently where I was verbally attacked in a public place. All I started to feel was rage, and then nothing, next thing I am outside smoking. And have been very depressed since then. Am finally getting on the other side. But intense anger will send me down that rabbit hole quickly. I don't know the dynamics of why it happens, just know that it does.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I have this thing that when triggered in a potentially harmful event, sometimes it happens an alter or something takes over, I completely lose memory from that point on, and I attack someone, beat someone up or whatever. That sort of stuff happens.

Any similarities?

 

[BlueOrange]

Sounds like there's a part of your mind that's frozen in time, and that part is angry about something. Of course, 'having a part of you that's frozen in time' is the 'structural dissociation' definition of PTSD, so I'm hardly taking a big risk in saying that ;)

 

[ssw]

I have this thing that when triggered in a potentially harmful event, sometimes it happens an alter or s...

Yes.... I attack verbally, not physically though. I've "blacked out" before as well and came out thinking "what the hell just happened.."

 

[ssw]

Sounds like there's a part of your mind that's frozen in time, and that part is angry about something...

That helps, though. This is new to me. Well... Trying to understand and break it down.

 

[BlueOrange]

There's some really good discussion (and links to great stuff that I've just finished reading) in the structural dissociation thread that's going on right now.

But, if that's too much to take in at once, then a conversation about the specific bits that you're working on is also a good thing. Me personally, I'm happy to do small answers to small questions at the moment, for the big questions, I'll point to the people who are really good at understanding and explaining it.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@ssw
How often do you blackout and how long do those last?

 

[ssw]

@BlueOrange
Much appreciated! I'll check out that thread soon and commend you in admitting you weren't the best to answer it. I feel lost right now, too. :/

But heads up, eh? And message me anytime you need a friend. :) I may lot have all the answers either, but I'm a good listener. :)

 

[ssw]

@Saelben - every time I dissociate I "black out" .. Not literally black, but my heads not there. My body might be, but that's it... My head gets immediately foggy and heavy and I have a sudden desire to sleep. If anyone pushed me further, I snap to angry, like a five year old that missed their nap.

I know that sounds ridiculous and I am embarrassed,. But, I don't know why it happens... In order to fix it, I need "why".

It happens for hours... I usually end up sleeping it off because the sudden need for sleep is intense. But if I can't sleep it off, depending on my surroundings, it can take 2hours(this is only with complete solitude) or longer, whenever I go to sleep for the night. I rarely come out of it completely without sleeping.. It gives me a pressure like headache that lingers.

 

[Avalanche88]

I get the anger, its very intense and violent. I feel scared when i feel conscious again and worry about what happened. The anger starts from me feeling anxious and someone triggering it by something that could be really minute. It's got to the point i only tend to leave my house for school runs. Although incidents have occured three times at school, luckily not physical though. Are you conscious in your dissociative states? Anger is a disguise for fear

 

[Sideways]

I find that almost any emotion experienced suddenly and intensely is likely to trigger my dissociation, anger included.

But if you haven't raised it with your doc specifically then maybe you should. In all likelihood it could be ptsd-related. But if I was a doctor and I heard "blackout, then extreme tiredness and headache", I would want to rule out any possible organic cause...not to freak you out, just better safe than sorry:)