Well I believe people whoever they are, are always projecting their feelings, their thoughts, their ideas, their perceptions, when you have poor or non existent boundaries, meaning, you know what your feelings are, you know and are in touch with your own thoughts, sense of self, sense of purpose, people can say and do whatever they want and try to interact with you or try to establish the nature of your relationship, however, they can only do that if you allow them to, permit them to, sometimes violence is a tool of communication, it conveys to another human that certain behaviors they are conducting are simply unacceptable given the certain set of circumstances, the more you settle into your own emotions, your own feelings, and maintain possession of your person powers people will naturally interact with you differently, not because of them, but because of you. Enmeshment to me, means we mimic other people, if someone else is angry, we are angry, if someone else is happy we are happy, if someone else thinks the government is taxing us to much we believe the same, then life goes on and we meet other people that share different emotions and feelings and we do the same again with the new people, we again feel what they feel, act like they act, the problem is we don't have a true sense of self of who we sincerely are without anyone else's input or interaction, hope that makes some sense to you, that's enmeshment,, and it stems from early life when one of our parents never received good reflective environment to develop their emotions and as a process, when you came along they could not create for you a proper environment where you could develop your own emotions feelings, and fulfill your needs now your grown, standing facing the world and all the different humans out there with all their ideas, feelings beliefs, with no sense of self or who you are,on top of that, you try or begin trying to reconstruct similar human interactions as you had as a kid.
We learn what we live, and for me, the hardest part of recovery is unlearning disassociation, unlearning enmeshment, unlearning so much dysfunctional behavioral patterns that were taught to me as a young kid. I think from my perspective you disassociation comes from being apart of a set of external circumstances or forced into a social situation which in all sincerity in your hearts of hearts have zero interest in participating in, but are either to beat down to stand up for yourself, or your just going along to get along, or trying to please other people by doing what they want to do, and defaulting back to disassociation, then after doing that, your pissed off, because what you find yourself doing, isn't what your true self wants to be doing.
That's the moment maybe if you had a spiritual advisor, or life coach or someone you can trust and only desires happiness for your life, which you can pick up the phone and call and share all the intimate details of the circumstances to, and then listen to their perspective on the situation, and then maybe take action, that brings you out of disassociation which will end the anger, because your active now and actually doing something and making a move of your own, for your own self, if other people have issue with it, then it's their issues and not yours, THere's much more to life, and I am certain life has way more to offer us than living in a perpetual state or cycle of disassociation and anger. I hope something I've said clicks and makes some helpful sense to you, if not just delete it and forget I ever said anything.
David
