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Anxiety about relaxing

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SinkorSwim

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So I have been go go go for the past couple years with going to school part time and working full time. I left my job of 12.5 years this last Friday. I don't start my new job until December 27th. Its only day three and I'm already anxious because I can't keep myself busy. I've been cleaning on and off for the past couple days but I have nothing to show for it. I feel like I should have the house cleaned by now but I'm just sitting and being anxious instead and I can't relax. I feel so out of sorts.
 
Ah. Yep. This is normal me. Busy, busy, busy. I’m cleaning and conditioning my leather lounge right now. And I’m on 5 weeks leave, psydoc orders ;) BUT I’m learning very, very slowly to be a little less judgmental. It’s actually hard work! Stuff that is helping me - audio books, walks, Pilates, equine T (we are focussing on regulation at the moment), going out for a cup of tea or breakfast on my own, training the dogs mindfully, yoga (Trauma Sensitive Yoga so it’s about movement if that what helps keep you in the moment), mindful gardening or cleaning rather than frantic exhaustion. Still doing stuff but being more aware of my body’s response, how it’s feeling. Even looking up every now and again when I’m gardening to watch a bird. It’s only a few seconds but it’s mindful. I hope that helps a bit. It’s taken me 2 weeks to feel even slightly relaxed and that’s been interrupted by some very triggering T with my psydoc.
 
I understand how you feel. It can be overwhelming to start something new. You have worked hard and you deserve this new job. For me I am trying to just accept my anxiety, which is easier said than done. Fighting it makes it worse for me. But, I understand the being busy but nothing to show for it, I do the same thing. I don’t know where you live but can you get outside during the day for some fresh air. Do some deep breathing and try to ground yourself?
 
Congrats on the new job. Well done for doing something new! Of course it's anxiety provoking. Forget cleaning the house if you can. Try to set aside some time to be anxious and get it out of your system as much as you can, and then alternatively set aside time to relax (take a bubble bath, go for a nature hike, do something you love) and just breathe and celebrate that you are alive and thriving! Because only people who have stopped living and trying experience no anxiety at all! Blessings to you...
 
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