Anxiety From Going Out In Public And Coming Home

[midi]

When I go out in the evening to events, I have to force myself. It only takes 0.000003 nano-seconds for me to come up with an excuse and I cancel.

When I do make it out, to see a band play or an art show, I do okay while I'm there. I feel a bit sad and detached, but I don't run away, I manage to make it through the event.

When I get home and the door is closed, the anxiety rushes at me. It is like a wall. I imagine that it is this anxiety in part, that keeps me from going out to many events in the first place.

My question is, what can I do to prepare and deal with the anxiety that overwhelms me when I get home. You'd think that I'd feel relief because I'm at home, no?

 

[Deleted member 541]

Midi,

I have found that good things can also cause anxiety too. It could be just an overwhelming overload from all of your senses that cause the anxiety. Anything can cause the anxiety, and solving it(sometimes), is to discovery why, and what sets it off in the first place. Sometimes though, you really can't pinpoint *why* and you just need to deal with ways to reduce the anxiety once it has hit......

I would try to focus MORE on the fact that you are able to go out, and enjoy yourself, rather than the negative result,(anxiety) as this may become habitual in your thought process, and continue to cause the anxiety.

I think that you going out is great......Keep up the good work!!!!

 

[Paloma]

Does the anxiety blow up when you get home because that is where you feel safe to let go? ie, You sucked it up to get through the event and now you can't hold it in any longer.

Should that be the case...maybe breath work, yoga, etc before you go out(and during) would help. And maybe a reward that only happens when you get home would give you something to be happy about and not stress...comfort food, joke book, movie...etc. Maybe some movement stuff to blow it off when you first get home....dancing, spaz attack (like Steve Martin), wrestling with any pets, burst of jumping jacks...I dunno.

Wishing you well!

 

[midi]

These are great responses! Thanks!

Yes, definitely it has turned into a negative pattern.

Hmmm, yes! A way to release all the pent up anxiety that I was holding in at the event!

 

[Paloma]

My nephew has Tourette's Syndrome and I noticed this pattern with him. He can pretty much get through the school day w/o really bad twitching, etc. But when he gets home he has a long burst of neural activity (like a third base coach on speed) and then he is much better for the evening. It is probably same for us...we build up a big charge of anxiety and then hold it (kinda like a mini-trauma reaction) to get thru the event. Knowing that...I can hike or dance or... and move it out of my nervous system.

Can't wait to hear if it works for you!:kiss:

 

[Grainne]

lol Paloma...a burst of jumping jacks? I love it!!

Midi - I hear you too. I often have delayed anxiety responses to outings...even visiting family. I find that I dread going...make any excuse I can to get out of it...am fine while there, and then not so fine when things settle back down.

Anyway, what caught me most was the suggestion of activity when you get home. I didn't even really realize it until now, but this sometimes works for me also. My son is autistic and has many sensory processing issues. He tends to have a hard time focusing when the 'structure' of his day unwinds. His therapist suggested a trampolene (sp?). He gets on it when we get home and has a blast. After about 15 minutes of bouncing and screaming (lol) he seems to get his focus back...gets all the pent up frustration from the day out. I thought, well...if it works for him, might work for me :) I get on there and bounce and scream with him now...haha..and honestly, it's so much fun. I thought I was just bonding with Colton...but now I think the burst of energy might be helping me blow off some of the anxiety from my day. Certainly can't hurt...

Best,
Grainne

 

[clare]

I'm so glad I read this thread!

I was hoping that exercize after school would help my son, and so far it has. My son (has PTSD) usually releases alot of pent up anxiety when he gets home from school. Now he goes to the gym after school for boxing lessons and he is much calmer at night.

 

[shiraz]

Hi Midi, I have this response too. I keep it all together until I feel safe enough to let it all out. I can't tell you how many times I drive away from an event and just scream in the car to let out all the pent up stress. Then I put on my favourite music and sing at the top of my voice ... something about release through sound really helps me, probably because I lose all my spontaneity to speak when I am in a crowd and land up being mute all night as the hypervigilance has me (quite literally) by the throat.

I usually get online when I get home and chat or write on the forum ... it helps me come down.

I hope you find a way to deal with your anxiety too.

All the best and lots of hugs,

Shiraz

 

[cragger65]

Excellent thread. I have this exact same reaction to socializing. If/when I finally suck it up and make myself go, I feel OK with it (though edgy) while I'm there, but then pace, worry, blink a lot, get down, panic - any combination of these - once I am home again. I can get this from simply going grocery shopping too, but it is particularly intense after social situations.

I am going to try some of the suggestion above. The trampoline sounds particularly good ;D

 

[midi]

This thread really has helped. While it sucks that some of us have this problem, it's great that people have offered coping mechanisms. I'm gonna try them too!

 

[tryintobreathe]

I think part of feeling the anxiety when you get home is because you are holding it all in so to speak while out in public. It's only once that you are home that you feel "safe" enough to let it all out. Just my take on it. This is a great thread! I love reading all the responses!!

Jen