General Anxiety From Your Sufferers Ptsd ?

[BehindBlueEyes]

I feel very overwhelmed lately and I am very irritable with my fiancé. Weve done nothing but argue lately and it seems to be an endless cycle over the stupidest things. I feel like between the PTSD and his little OCD habits that I am a ball of rubberbands ready to just snap. I don't like being so irritable with you and I hate feeling like Im on pins and needles all the time. It seems I am having terrible mood swings and go from feeling like "we can make it through anything" to just crying because I see what we used to be and want that back so bad. My insurance does not cover any kind of mental care and Im not sure I really want to get on a mood stabilizer that I could be on for life. I struggle with lasting friendships and live in a small town with not much to do. My family is close but I don't want to share the stress with them and them get a bad opinion of my fiancé because they simply don't understand. Has your sufferers PTSD in turn given you anxiety ?

 

[Justmehere]

Vicarious traumatization is a real thing that supporters can suffer from quite commonly. There are other ways that suffers can pick up on emotional states and take them on as their own. Even well trained therapists struggle with this at times.

I recommend all supporters get their own counseling support in general. With all that you are dealing with, it makes sense you would be struggling without support too.

You don't sound quite ready to get counseling help, and that's ok. I do want to suggest a few things though. Counseling can help in more ways than just medications. It can help develop internal and external boundaries and ways to be grounded and mindful. It can help to build the ability to be more regulated even when your sufferer is very dysrgulated. You shouldn't feel bad that you struggle with this at all - again, even very well trained therapists struggle with the same thing, and they are not living with the sufferer all the time.

As far as medication, there are also other options than mood stabilizers. Even if you do need a mood stabilizer, it doesn't HAVE to be for the rest of your life. It may just be for this extra stressful season.

As far as your health insurance having no mental health care coverage, it's illegal for health insurance companies in the US to only cover medical care and not cover mental health care. Under the Federal law called the Mental Health Care Parity Act, insurance companies are required by law to cover mental health care at least as well as they do medical care.

If you are sure your insurance still doesn't cover any mental health care, then I suggest you report them to your state's insurance commission. If you can prove your insurance doesn't cover care, you would very likely qualify for sliding scale clinics. You can call your local United Way (or even a national office) and they have databases on non-profits or government funded agencies that provide low cost mental health services for people with no insurance coverage for mental health care.

It's ok to need help to handle this. It happens a lot. It's not because you are bad or weak.

 

[Sighs]

I grew up with a father who had combat PTSD so walking on egg shells and feeling extremely anxious about "provoking" an outburst feels normal to me. Having said that, my combat PTSD partner can have me literally shaking when he is having a meltdown. Depending on the nature of his rant I can also get irritable because I've listened to the hate spew out of him so many times before. As hard as it can be, I try to concentrate on breathing regularly and calmly and repeating over and over in my head - "this is not about me - let him vent - he's just venting".

I'm sorry that you are yearning for what you used to have. Acceptance of the here and now can be very hard.

 

[anthony]

@BehindBlueEyes everything you described is normal... and between you and your fiancee you have to find common ground, where he is getting help for himself and you are also being supported, such as what you're doing here. Supporters are typically the ones who seek help for themselves and their sufferer, as those with PTSD often just find it another stressor.

This is a long road, and things aren't going to change in the next month or two, put it that way. He has to step-up obviously, and you have to also get support for yourself. The worst thing a supporter can do is become part of the problem by becoming an enabler for the sufferer, by supporting bad habits, poor treatment and so forth. It opens doors to a worst future, not better. Again though... both parties have to be present to fix PTSD when a relationship exists. One will not change a lot.

 

[Underdog]

I'm fairly new to understanding my PTSD, so please keep that in mind.

I can honestly say before and after the immediate trauma ended, I was absolute hell to live with. I may not have recognized it as it happened, but the knowledge that I wasn't acting how I normally would just made things worse inside and made me even more angry. Since I've been diagnosed and done work to research and understand things at least somewhat better, when I can do so I always acknowledge those moments to my better half when I became infuriated for no present and understandable reason. I try to let him know as much as I can that I am mostly aware. This is a work in progress, and many years of therapy later although I was only told diagnosis within the past year.

After I knew the diagnosis, I read about secondary trauma because I wanted to know what I put him through. Although he said he knew I had PTSD, he didn't know what that meant. After he read about secondary trauma from the links I sent him he started to realize his reactions were entirely normal. Although I suffer from PTSD, I urged him to seek out his own support group/network and to have "exit" plans should things start going bad. He's fighting things right now, and I get that. He doesn't want to see me in this state after being married for 10 years and together for 13. It's hard to watch a loved one go through this, but know what you are describing is indeed a very normal response and you shouldn't ever shame yourself for that. Instead, read up on secondary trauma in relation to PTSD and create your own future responses and plans with that knowledge.

 

[Mistyeyed2013]

I feel very overwhelmed lately and I am very irritable with my fiancé. Weve done nothing but arg...

Definitely have felt irritable and moody at times I think it's because I couldn't express myself and felt like I was walking on eggshells ALL the time. I think anger bred inside of me.....no good,