Anxiety, my only form of motivation?


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I've always considered myself to be a high achiever. I moved across the country to race bikes at a domestic pro level and started a business all before the age of 21. I knew I was above average for anxiety, but I used to use it to my advantage to keep me motivated.

Now, I've been diagnosed with PTSD from being in 3 big accidents in 3 years, all on my bike which resulted in 3 broken leg bones, 2 surgeries and a ton of hardware. It feels like now I'm overwhelmed with anxiety and I struggle to do anything. I wake up more days then not after only getting 5-6hrs of sleep, full of adrenaline and I can sometimes hop right into work and if I keep busy, my symptoms are minimal, but I burn myself out and I end up completely losing it. On other days where I feel more regulated and I can keep my anxiety in check, I feel soooo tired with zero motivation. Zero.

How have others found balance? I think I've always used anxiety as a form of energy and motivation, but I can't do that anymore or I'm going to push myself over the edge one of these days. I also can't not, becuase on days that I feel regulated, I also feel incredibly depressed.
Are a whole helluva lotta of us with PTSD adrenaline junkies? Hell yes.

Does that mean we have to stop using our best coping mechanisms for stress?

f*ck no.

But it DOES mean we ALSO need to find other ways to blow off stress when we’re sick/injured. Or? Bad things happen.

Check this shit out >>> The ptsd cup explanation