Anxious About Every Next Second

[Definitely..maybe]

I hope that this makes at least a little sense!

I went through an extremely bad anxiety period this year (for me at least) I kept thinking I was going to just burst and die with all the anxiety. Although the anxiety has lessened a lot now I still have anxiety about getting anxiety. I'm always waiting for something bad to happen and for me to just slip back into that horrible anxiety and deep depression. It's like every moment is preparing myself for the worst- oh I'll save this new episode of a tv show for tomorrow just in case I need it, I'll save more calories for the end of the day in case I need them, I'll delay opening a package so I can be happy about it later. But I feel so crazy and anxious now that I feel like I've just lost myself, like now I don't even have PTSD and I'm just crazy. Triggers used to make sense when they were tied to my abuse..now though triggers can be anything.

It's so silly. Does anyone get it?

 

[RedWood]

Hello,
Most of my triggers don't make any sense to me since my trauma came from childhood abuse. What I noticed is the feelings are all the same. Helpless, scared, lonely, abandoned, and misunderstood are the recurring feelings behind most of my triggers even if they all look very different than the initial trauma(s).

 

[Friday]

For sure. My stressors have always been able to be anything, so that's not new... Nor doubled emotions. (Gah. Emotions. Pfui.). Angry about being angry. Anxious about being anxious. Depressed about being depressed.

For me this comes in 2 parts.

1... It's my brain sending up the same kinds of warning signals it does when I trigger off trauma; flashing me reminders that 1+1=74. Vexing. Still a good sign things are starting to come together, but still vexing.

2... I have a comorbid disorder. It pretty much takes a back seat (and a nap) when my PTSD is unchecked. The trauma stuff is just soooo much stronger, that the ADHD stuff gets lost in the sun by and large. But especially when my PTSD symptoms start lessening, I get the oh so fun surprise of those symptoms returning in the wake. Along with the periodic "helping hand" as it mumbles sleepy support from the back seat.

What to do about either? Wish I knew. I just keep on keeping on. Dealing with stressors &'triggers as they come up, and using coping mechanisms, and this dented old tool box to keep treating things as they come, the best way I can at the time.