Any Other Adult Children Of BPD/NPD Parents?

[SquirrelCommander]

Hi,

I am here learning about C-PTSD because of a tentative diagnosis. Mine was created by abusive, alcoholic, personality disordered parents (BPD mom; NPD dad) and stepmother (histrionic), as well as a gas lighter (possibly narcissistic) sister who took advantage of the power/structure vacuum in the household to make me her puppet, and continues to gaslight and appoint herself my surrogate mother to this day.

I just wanted to say hi and tell you all that I really, really appreciate your generosity in sharing your experience(s). It's a kind thing to do for people like myself who are just figuring this out. I thought I was always struggling with depression caused by repressed anger. Recent panic attacks and intrusive memories led me to this tentative diagnosis, and I would have :dontknow:no idea:dontknow: what everyday life looks like to those who live with PTSD/C-PTSD were it not for this and other great forums. So, thank you! And hugs to you all. Much compassion. :smile:

 

[amethist]

Hi SquirrelCommander

Welcome to the forum.

There is a lot of information, help and support on here and many sufferers who I am sure will offer to help you work this out.

Maybe you could look for a good therapist too who can help you move forward to a better place with all this

Take care and good luck.

Amethist

 

[BrownEyes]

Hi SquirrellCommander,

Welcome to the forum. Both my parents have personality dosorders. My mother has BPD and NPD. My father has Paranoid Personality Disorder. It was (and still is) a frustrating situation to be in.

I'm glad you found this forum. The people are wonderful and you will get lots of information here.

I feel for you, and take care.

 

[a3a2]

LOVE the name!!! Welcome to the forum.

 

[This Ends Now]

SquirrelCommander,
Welcome to the forum! I am sorry to hear that you have suffered so much at the hands of those closest to you. I noticed that you mentioned being gaslighted as a child. This is a common form of psyops. One thing I was taught was that knowing about psyops is the best form of defense against it. A technique that I used was to photograph, tape, or write down what you see or hear and later verifying that data with a trusted outside source.
I was also abused for the first 20 years of my life by family members. My mother had BPD and PTSD and Major Depression. My father had Bi-Polar disorder and post traumatic stress from combat. My uncle also had PTSD from combat.
You can come back through the looking glass. It is not easy or quick, but it is worth it. I wish you the best in your path to recovery.
Liz H.

 

[This Ends Now]

There is also a book called "No Visible Wounds: Identifying non physical abuse in women by their men" by Susan Miller PHD. People talk a lot about the abusive husband/battered wife dynamic, but I think it is better to take the gender, age and relationship bias out. The fact is that many principles are still true in any situation.

 

[SquirrelCommander]

Thank you!

Thank you all so much for welcoming and reassuring me! I so appreciate it!

 

[SquirrelCommander]

Hi SquirrellCommander,

Welcome to the forum. Both my parents have personality dosorders. My mother has BPD and NPD. My father has Paranoid Personality Disorder. It was (and still is) a frustrating situation to be in.

I'm glad you found this forum. The people are wonderful and you will get lots of information here.

I feel for you, and take care.

Wow, mom = BPD & NPD. Maybe we share common experiences. One thing I find amazing & creepy and Bs and Ns is that they tend to say the same things - actually use some of the same words & phrases. (Ns refer to selves as "heroic" etc.) I see you are a female. Did your mother ever get competitive with you? Mine sure did! Thank you so much for the reassurance. It's good to know that someone else from such a falsely constructed reality has so much hope in life. I feel for you as well, and you take care of yourself as well!

 

[SquirrelCommander]

I am not sure if my thanks posted properly. I am not used to this format. Anyways, once again, THANK YOU for welcoming and reassuring me. I so appreciate it!

 

[angie]

Hi, just wanted to say I relate. I came here to work on some strange abandonment issues- strange because I didn't have a parent leave as a kid, nobody important died, etc. yet my PTSD was getting triggered around any threat of abandonment.

Much reading later, it looks like it is related to my uBPD mom... my conditioned responses to her crazy are now all mixed up with my PTSD, so when I get a bit of rejection or something that seems like gaslighting, off I go to PTSD trauma land with terror, despondency, nightmares etc.

I'd previously done work on the PTSD recovery, and done work on family stuff and being a child of a uBPD, but in prior times the symptom patterns were not interrelated, the one didn't trigger the other.