Childhood Anyone else been traumatised with porn?

Lumos

MyPTSD Pro
Im sorry for you . To me it also deprnds on the day or like period. My mind is always obsessing with something that triggers me. The last week it is porn, next week it could be something else. Sometimes its quite depressing. Thank you for your reply:)


Porn is really unrealistic. Im so sorry you had to go through all this:( it's so screwed up what big of an impact this has on us.. I'm glad that you can use grounding techniques now. How do you feel about your partner watching porn? (If you have or had one)


I definetely think we accept it too much and talk about it that it's normal and even healthy. It is addicting and the internet is made to help you get addicted to it. Just like social media, it seems to be so normal but it's so bad for your mental health. I agree with you
Yeah it's especially damaging when you're a child but would probably still have been terrifying if it happened to me as an adult. I'm so glad I finally have a good therapist who helps me :) I don't think I'd want to date someone who watches it in future but if they really wanted to, as long as it wasn't violent, I'd maybe tolerate it. Not if they were addicted to it though.
 

PTSDisaster

Confident
Yeah it's especially damaging when you're a child but would probably still have been terrifying if it happened to me as an adult. I'm so glad I finally have a good therapist who helps me :) I don't think I'd want to date someone who watches it in future but if they really wanted to, as long as it wasn't violent, I'd maybe tolerate it. Not if they were addicted to it though.
Ahh that's so good to hear!! I just started with a new therapist and i hope we are a good match:)
I also don't want my bf to watch porn and he doesn't mind. But I'm freaking out if he is lying about it so it is still an issue even if its not an issue haha. But nothing specifically triggers my trauma's, it's more body memories and i get real sick and a powerless feeling which makes me go crazy. But no feeling when I just think about my traumatic memories so i'm always questioning if it is my trauma or extreme jealousy. Hope I will figure this out one time
 

Lumos

MyPTSD Pro
Ahh that's so good to hear!! I just started with a new therapist and i hope we are a good match:)
I also don't want my bf to watch porn and he doesn't mind. But I'm freaking out if he is lying about it so it is still an issue even if its not an issue haha. But nothing specifically triggers my trauma's, it's more body memories and i get real sick and a powerless feeling which makes me go crazy. But no feeling when I just think about my traumatic memories so i'm always questioning if it is my trauma or extreme jealousy. Hope I will figure this out one time
Oh yeah, I get the sick feeling and body memories too. I know I should be angry about it all but I still just feel fear and repulsion. My therapist has been doing grounding strategies with me to try to calm me down and it seems to help.
I hope your therapist will be able to help you too. Are they easy to talk to?
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
I'm actually really thankful for your reply. Even my therapist told me 'all men watch porn' when I told her my boyfriend doesn't watch it so I don't get sick of the thought of it. Thank you for making my view on men a bit better, its really helpful thank you:)))
As soon as someone says ‘all people ‘ ir a group of people I doubt their authority.

What about asexual men for example? Or Demisexual men? Those groups may or may not have lower likelihood of watching porn. My husband definitely has used porn in the past but as far as I know has not in recent years and has said he considered a ‘tool of the single man’ at one point. ( note, not all single men) when I was asking about his use of porn. We both now share @Survivor3 ’s opinion- that we are not confident in the porn industry’s ability to secure freely given, enthusiastic, affirmative informed consent for porn - free from pressure or choices, as a result I’d be very surprised if my husband did now.


Interestingly I recently binge watched Game of Thrones and my husband chose not to watch it as stories of female actors’ discomfort during filming and the misogyny of the series was too distasteful for him.

I am the Ptsd sufferer and the one who has experienced’stuff’ in our relationship but that doesn’t mean it’s impact free for him as both an effected spouse - the ways I’ve changed as a person and in my intimacy, but also for the hurt HE suffered in what happened to me. He was always feminist, ( better than me) and pro equality in all ways- but it feels more personal to him after I developed PTSD. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.
 

PTSDisaster

Confident
Oh yeah, I get the sick feeling and body memories too. I know I should be angry about it all but I still just feel fear and repulsion. My therapist has been doing grounding strategies with me to try to calm me down and it seems to help.
I hope your therapist will be able to help you too. Are they easy to talk to?
Yes he is very easy to talk to so I think we will figure some things out real soon:) Thank you so much for replying, it really helps me to talk about it with someone who's gone through the same thing.<3

As soon as someone says ‘all people ‘ ir a group of people I doubt their authority.

What about asexual men for example? Or Demisexual men? Those groups may or may not have lower likelihood of watching porn. My husband definitely has used porn in the past but as far as I know has not in recent years and has said he considered a ‘tool of the single man’ at one point. ( note, not all single men) when I was asking about his use of porn. We both now share @Survivor3 ’s opinion- that we are not confident in the porn industry’s ability to secure freely given, enthusiastic, affirmative informed consent for porn - free from pressure or choices, as a result I’d be very surprised if my husband did now.


Interestingly I recently binge watched Game of Thrones and my husband chose not to watch it as stories of female actors’ discomfort during filming and the misogyny of the series was too distasteful for him.

I am the Ptsd sufferer and the one who has experienced’stuff’ in our relationship but that doesn’t mean it’s impact free for him as both an effected spouse - the ways I’ve changed as a person and in my intimacy, but also for the hurt HE suffered in what happened to me. He was always feminist, ( better than me) and pro equality in all ways- but it feels more personal to him after I developed PTSD. I don’t think that’s unreasonable.
Yes you are 100% right, and I also think about it the same way. But whenever someone comments like that on something that triggers me a lot and makes me insecure, I can't think straight and believe whatever negativity they will tell me.
I really like your husband haha. I think it's nice to feel someone besides you care about you so much that they change their behavior without asking them for it. Sometimes it feels like everyone around me is faking, for example; all my friends say social media is really bad and it should be banned, but everyone still uses all social media platforms. I think your husband shows how much of a real person he is and how much he can be trusted. Not only saying things but also showing you that he cares. Game of thrones is actually another trigger for me and my boyfriend just starts fighting with me because he 'needs' to watch the series again because it was so good. I miss that piece you've got in your relationship.
 

Lumos

MyPTSD Pro
Yes he is very easy to talk to so I think we will figure some things out real soon:) Thank you so much for replying, it really helps me to talk about it with someone who's gone through the same thing.<3


Yes you are 100% right, and I also think about it the same way. But whenever someone comments like that on something that triggers me a lot and makes me insecure, I can't think straight and believe whatever negativity they will tell me.
I really like your husband haha. I think it's nice to feel someone besides you care about you so much that they change their behavior without asking them for it. Sometimes it feels like everyone around me is faking, for example; all my friends say social media is really bad and it should be banned, but everyone still uses all social media platforms. I think your husband shows how much of a real person he is and how much he can be trusted. Not only saying things but also showing you that he cares. Game of thrones is actually another trigger for me and my boyfriend just starts fighting with me because he 'needs' to watch the series again because it was so good. I miss that piece you've got in your relationship.
That's good, it makes all the difference when you have a good therapist. No problem, yes it is really helpful to talk to people who've went through similar things 💚
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
Yes he is very easy to talk to so I think we will figure some things out real soon:) Thank you so much for replying, it really helps me to talk about it with someone who's gone through the same thing.<3


Yes you are 100% right, and I also think about it the same way. But whenever someone comments like that on something that triggers me a lot and makes me insecure, I can't think straight and believe whatever negativity they will tell me.
I really like your husband haha. I think it's nice to feel someone besides you care about you so much that they change their behavior without asking them for it. Sometimes it feels like everyone around me is faking, for example; all my friends say social media is really bad and it should be banned, but everyone still uses all social media platforms. I think your husband shows how much of a real person he is and how much he can be trusted. Not only saying things but also showing you that he cares. Game of thrones is actually another trigger for me and my boyfriend just starts fighting with me because he 'needs' to watch the series again because it was so good. I miss that piece you've got in your relationship.


Aw, thank you- he is likeable! I’m sorry I touched on something so personal to you as an example.

What My DH and I are watching together is the morning show - I’d watched series one before in a hyper triggered state but I’m less reactive now and it’s interesting to have watched it again and now move on to series two. We also watched the amazing series Unbelievable a few years ago together. I think that this sort of programming is helpful both for me as a sufferer as I sense some form of understanding and compassion and also for people who don’t get the impact of sexual trauma or disparities. I really particularly like the morning show as it deals with the complexity of women who benefit from a status quo. I wonder if watching excellent shows like and maybe that might help your husband understand why you don’t choose to watch GoT and that when he does accommodations like a separate room , headphones or low volume are considerate?
 

PTSDisaster

Confident
Aw, thank you- he is likeable! I’m sorry I touched on something so personal to you as an example.

What My DH and I are watching together is the morning show - I’d watched series one before in a hyper triggered state but I’m less reactive now and it’s interesting to have watched it again and now move on to series two. We also watched the amazing series Unbelievable a few years ago together. I think that this sort of programming is helpful both for me as a sufferer as I sense some form of understanding and compassion and also for people who don’t get the impact of sexual trauma or disparities. I really particularly like the morning show as it deals with the complexity of women who benefit from a status quo. I wonder if watching excellent shows like and maybe that might help your husband understand why you don’t choose to watch GoT and that when he does accommodations like a separate room , headphones or low volume are considerate?

It's not particularly me watching it, but I get triggered with the idea of him getting turned on. Doesn't matter what series/movies whatever he watches, I'm constantly scared that he will get turned on, unless I turn him on on purpose. I'm still looking for what reason I get so scared, but I think it has to do with having control. And when he gets turned on by someone else I can't control it and he will need me to satisfy him. That might explain it but I'm not sure what I wrote is understandable haha
 
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