Anyone Else's Combat Vet Have Problems With The 4th?

[Pebbles5280]

I'm just curious if anyone else had difficulty with the 4th, what happened and how you handled it.

We went to a very large fireworks display on the 4th and it ended very badly. He didn't tell me that he hasn't been out on the 4th for nearly 20 years. He's a Combat Vet so I knew it would be challenging. The first few minutes were stressful but he seemed to be dealing with it fairly well until a helicopter started flying overhead. They were flying low and circling the display. That was the beginning of the end. Within minutes of the helicopter circling, he took off. I tried to follow him but couldn't keep up. When I found him, I encouraged him to leave with me and we started walking.

Obviously, fireworks will never again be part of our 4th of July.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

As I am in the UK we don't celebrate the 4th but November the 5th kills me trigger wise every time. I am a UK veteran btw. I react very badly to fireworks and for me it is simply a case of I isolate for the day and keep myself to myself that evening.

A lot of Vets react really badly to both days UK and US alike. I wish you comfort and healing for both of you. Is your Vet a member of this or the sister forum mycombatptsd.com yet ??. If not I would recommend he does register as a member I myself find that this site for me gives me so mych help and support right when I really need that support.

Sending you and your partner a comforting :hug: from the UK

Laurie

 

[Sighs]

@Pebbles5280 - choppers are a huge trigger for both my combat vet partner and my combat vet dad. Obviously they served in different conflicts in different parts of the world so their reactions are different but both are severe.

A chopper, particularly something large like a Chinook (no idea how to spell that - sorry), can send my dad into floods of ugly harsh, can't catch your breath tears.

Any chopper, regardless of size, which circles even once will send my vet diving for cover regardless of context.

Fireworks - actually they are both ok with. (One was in artillery and the other was in mortars so they are both almost immune to loud bangs.)

 

[Friday]

A chopper, particularly something large like a Chinook (no idea how to spell that - sorry), can send my dad into floods of ugly harsh, can't catch your breath tears.

^^^ That's me. & I don't cry. I'm actually sitting here with my eyes burning right now. I can't cry for people, but I can cry for bits of thumping metal screaming through the sky. f*ck. Regret, loss, shame, jealousy... I want to/need to be in the sky so damn badly. I need to change things, I can't change. Three 53echos came out of nowhere the other night and I just lost it. I didn't hallucinate them, they were just suddenly there, 500 meters away coming out of a storm... And I bawled my eyes out for hours. I love everything about them, I hate everything about myself. The 53s & 46s just rip my heart out. It's hard, even if I know they're around. It's impossible if they surprise me. So f*cking worthless. Blargh. & now I've got water and snot running down my face. So damn stupid. But once upon a time I had rotors in my blood, and now they're gone, everyone is gone, and I never appreciated what I had until it was too late.

(SpongeBob SquarePants Announcer Voice in a bad French accent : 1 million years later...)

I love fireworks, usually. I've only gone to big shows a few times in the past 15 some odd years. More typically, I'm setting them off, or in a hotel room, or swimming, or on a boat. I manage my environment very carefully. Single stressors I can usually handle just fine... Especially if I've got something that moderates that. Strong arms, a chest to breath in their spicy scent, kids to be rough housing with, water to be swimming in... Just... Things. Vibrant, steadying, life worth living things. This year was a bad one. Don't have those things. Although I had some absolutely stellar bleeding blisters from new boots that were nice and distracting (I hiked about 25mi that day, tore my feet up, got a touch of sunstroke, it was good)... But it was still hard.

I wouldn't say never do fireworks, again. Just know it's something a lot of us need work-arounds to enjoy them.

 

[Sighs]

@FridayJones - one day, when I win lotto, you and I are going to meet up somewhere fabulous and talk until 3am. :hug: if you accept them.

 

[Peach]

My UK Vet doesn't react well to Remembrance Day - second Sunday of November. Not because of fireworks (he's never told me about having a problem with them), but because he sometimes watches the war documentaries that are aired on TV, including the wars he participated in. He's told me before he knows he shouldn't watch, but gets sucked in and ends up quite depressed for a week or two.

Then again, one of his former units was invited to march at the Cenotaph in London in 2009 and he had a pretty good time, emotionally, overall. He ended up beside one man whom he remembered not getting along with back in the day. He said he always laughed at inappropriate times, and indeed, was cracking jokes and laughing during the march. My guy was pissed at the lack of respect and basically told him to, well, shut up...not very nicely. We discussed the incident, I said that it was unfortunate that the other man reacted that way, but if he was like that before, maybe that was all he could do to keep from cracking. It did seem to make my Vet feel better to think of it that way. I mean, as we are all very aware, you really don't know what is happening in someones head and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Also, he stays out of the way during marching season - which is now. Actually, maybe that's why he's been on the quiet side the last couple of days. Things have been kicking off a bit in Belfast and Londonderry. Hmm.

@Mr Laurie, Guy Fawkes and Remembrance Day aren't related, right? It's just a coincidence they're so close?

 

[Sighs]

Guy Fawkes is the anniversary of an attempt to blow up the British parliament in 1605. Remembrance Day is the anniversary of the end of WWI in 1918. Just coincidence.

 

[Friday]

Marines have got the double there, too. :p I'm reeeeeally not fun on 10 & 11 November. It's the USMC birthday 10Nov1775, and Veterans Day 11Nov (formerly Armistice day, the day WWII ended). Traditionally we celebrate on the 10th, mourn on the 11th. Celebrate & Mourn. Celebrate & Mourn. Now it's just a clusterf*ck of... Not good.

Other anniversaries that month, too. People get seriously het up about starting revolutions in November. And if a war hasn't ended by then, you won't be home by Christmas, so suck it up. The entire month can kiss my ass. Wake me up when it's over.

 

[Sighs]

Anniversaries often clump and that sucks. For 3RAR Kapyong Day is 24 April immediately followed by Anzac Day on 25 April.