Anyone Relate?

[oneandonlyMOM]

I was diagnosed early in 2013 with PTSD. For the past two years I struggled with anxiety and panic attacks. With therapy, I have found my source.

7 years ago I was a single mom. The father wanted to give up his rights, but it is not allowed in our state. So, he just left. It was just me and my daughter. I found a wonderful man, and we planned to marry. I contacted her father for him to sign the papers to allow my husband to adopt our daughter. At that moment her father decided he wanted her. We went through a bitter custody battle which resulted in a 50/50 split. I lost my life savings to court fees and such. What a waste! The decision stills hurts me to this day. How, why?

My eyes were opened to an ugly world. My conditions have taken over my life. I can't work, I can't control emotions, I can't find happiness. My husband hurts too, our perfect life plans are not achievable. I struggle finding new dreams. I need to know that I am not the only one who suffers from PTSD under similar circumstances.

 

[Abstract]

Hi oneandonlymom,

Sorry to hear of your troubles and your continued anxiety and panic attacks. I don't have children but imagine these things are demanding.

It may help clarify things to look through this article on PTSD if you haven't done so. The diagnostic criteria are about half way down. [DLMURL]https://www.myptsd.com/c/articles/posttraumatic-stress-disorder.7/[/DLMURL]

Am I understanding correctly that you are saying they diagnosed you first and then afterwards, through therapy, you found the event that caused the diagnoses? They would need to know the source to make a diagnoses so I am just checking if it was a therapist that did this. I know that the facts are not always easy to convey when we relate these things. Maybe there was something traumatic before the relationship issues?

 

[oneandonlyMOM]

Thank you for responding. I appreciate the link to the article. was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks 2 years ago. I had changed jobs and found that the work was not a good fit for me. I had to stop working and go on short term disability. The Dr. and therapist believed it was strictly work related. My therapist didn't even seem concerned with any other stress in my life. I took meds, went to therapy, got off meds. In 2013 I had another major panic attack at my home and started with a new therapist. Who uncovered the real reasons. So PTSD is very new for me, and unlike any other case I have heard. I'm just interested in addressing the less common scenarios.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

You definitely aren't alone. I'm a single mom. Although now my kids are in their 20's and don't live at home. I had undiagnosed PTSD for years and years and just got the diagnosis this past November. My symptoms have been so bad that between them and back injuries from a car accident I'm now the kid that lives at home.

There are days I feel crushed by the weight of PTSD. I can't always cope with stress. I have a lot of triggers and I'm easily triggered sometimes. The problems with sleep and the nightmares are exhausting. Sometimes it feels like this is going to torment me forever. Sometimes I get angry that so much was robbed from me. And a lot of it directly effects things I wanted for myself.

But there is another side. It's a bit of doing two steps forward and one step back. But some days you grab it and you take the lead. And sometimes it knocks you over and almost all you can do is be gentle with yourself. Why? Because you've already been traumatized. So there's no need to be hard on yourself. It doesn't really help anyway.

I wish I could give you a timeframe of when it gets better. I'm still asking that question too. But from my experiences it takes as long as it takes. But I do know that it does get better. And also there are a lot of people right where you are. Fighting and working everyday at getting better.

 

[Abstract]

Hi,

You are welcome. If something in that period or before fits this part of the criteria:
"Diagnostic Criteria for 309.81 (F43.10) Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

Note: The following criteria apply to adults, adolescents, and children older than 6 years. For children 6 years and younger, see corresponding criteria.

A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s),
2. Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others,
3. Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent and accidental.
4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse).

Note: Criterion A4 does not apply to exposure to electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless the exposure is work related."

and is still intruding on your life through nightmares, flashbacks or other similar symptoms then PTSD is a possibility. If not then it might well be an adjustment disorder. The symptoms can be the same or more along the lines of anxiety and depression. [DLMURL]https://www.myptsd.com/c/articles/adjustment-disorders.4/[/DLMURL] There is a new sister site dealing with trauma and experiences resulting in adjustment disorders.

It is good you are looking at healing.
All the sites are listed here:just keep swimming

 

[mamachick]

I am sorry for all that you are going through right now, with the ptsd, and then your childs father crushing your plans. I know that you dont want to hear this, and I know that you are hurting from having to share custody. Your plans are not what you wanted, then you just have to change your plans, not your goal. You can still have a happy family with your child and new husband, just may need to re-direct how to achieve that while sharing custody. It stinks that he can float in or out of childs life, but that is what the law allows no matter how bad it sucks.

You have the man of your dreams. I do not think there is any such thing as perfect life plans, when we believe there is, we are sure to find failure as something will always spoil. Keep loving your child and your husband, and dont let the outsider spoil the time that the 3 of you have together. Im sorry it worked out this way for you and dont know where the silver lining is, but if you keep looking, you might find it. Thoughts and prayers your way.

 

[TheGreaterPurpose]

oneandonlyMOM,

I'm sorry you had to go through such trying hardships. It's unfair that you had to go through that custody battle.

But in my opinion, your battle was not a waste. You obviously love your daughter a great deal. And so does your new husband. You both spent so much money and effort to keep custody of her. That kind of love is priceless and eventually that kind of love will overcome any obstacle. Try to look at your battle as a testament to how close and loving your family is and will always be. Money will come and go but the close bond you share with your new husband and daughter is uniquely special.

The world is full bad parents and bad children. You, however, have built a strong family. As an only child, you have my utmost respect. Parents like you and your new husband are 1 in a million.

Bless you.

 

[Hashi]

Hi OAOM,

I'm sorry for what you've been through and are going through.

I want to echo what Abstract is saying, that a PTSD diagnosis depends on fitting the trauma criteria which she quoted, but that other very difficult life experiences can cause anxiety and panic attacks (although can't be diagnosed as PTSD). I'm a bit unclear about whether someone has given you a PTSD diagnosis, and if so based on which of the PTSD criteria?

The purpose of the sister site for adjustment disorders is to recognise how devastating those other life events can be, for people who don't fit the PTSD diagnostic criteria. That site is because those kinds of experiences and feelings need to be validated too, and they take a lot to work through.

I'm sorry, but I'm a bit confused about your diagnosis and which site is the appropriate one for you?

 

[oneandonlyMOM]

Hashi and Abstract

I am diagnosed with PTSD. Sorry I don't fit the mold. Of coarse there is more to the story. But maybe this isn't the right place for me. I'm pretty ashamed you would even question my diagnosis.

 

[oneandonlyMOM]

As far as my threads, I am hoping to find positive advice and support. I see a T and have a diagnosis, I don't need anyone else to diagnose me. Please turn off your tunnel vision. Or just ignore me.

 

[Hashi]

How would I know that "of course there is more to the story"? Do you want me to make assumptions about you?

You've presented something, referencing PTSD, that doesn't fit the criteria and you've asked about others sharing that experience. How could I guess or know that you might be referring to something else? That's why I asked, rather than jump to conclusions. I was trying to clarify. All you need to do is clarify. Which you haven't, really.

I haven't diagnosed you. I've referred to the diagnostic criteria.

I'm not sure why you think I have tunnel vision. Again, I've referred to the diagnostic criteria - not sure where my own vision comes into this. I'm not asking you to fit a mould, but I would expect a PTSD diagnosis to meet the diagnostic criteria. If it doesn't, it might be adjustment disorder and there's support for that too. If it does meet the criteria, then it does and there's no need to be defensive.

If you think I've responded inappropriately, please report my post. I don't think I've responded out of line, but I'll accept whatever decision the moderators/admin make.

 

[oneandonlyMOM]

I think maybe you should just not respond to my threads. Thanks