Anyone Relate?

[mamachick]

oneandonlyMOM-I am glad that this is all cleared up and welcome to the forum. I guess I just assumed it was related to something else but given your symptoms, the whole custody issue might be perceived less stressful for you. I think we all understand that with ptsd, things that would be a stressor for others can be over the top for us.

Looking in from the outside, Im sure those who do not know about my ptsd do not understand my reaction to some recent family conflicts. From my view, they can be debilitating, as Abstract said above.

That being said, I hope you look at the good comments that have been made to support you through this time of trouble and find a way to live your life to the fullest while sharing custody. Believe me, I have trouble as it does not always come easy, as things dont turn out the way I plan or would like and the problem seems magnified. Can make it much harder to be happy in day to day life. Yet I have learned that when I let go of the old expectations and take the best I can find in what I have, it eases the sadness. I guess it is acceptance. I struggle with this. So please feel free to elaborate on how it is effecting your current situation. Sending peace your way.

 

[Abstract]

I just wanted to add and clarify that I certainly don't see anyone on here as seeing the custody issue as less stressful for you.. There are huge difficulties dealing with all stressors when one has PTSD let alone something very difficult like fighting for the custody of ones child. For that matter even good stress is trying and can set off symptoms when we have PTSD.

That is different from something causing PTSD of course. That's the part that sidetracked things a bit.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Please don't take offense. You stated:

" I need to know that I am not the only one who suffers from PTSD under similar circumstances."

This leads us to believe that your PTSD was diagnosed based on the custody issue. (We now know it's not true.) Members get a bit frustrated from all the people who come here and say things like their PTSD is due to a bad breakup (without abuse or any other Criterion A cause), or the like. Nobody here is going to support an incorrect diagnosis as it's not helpful to them or to us.

Yes, you belong here. Welcome.

 

[oneandonlyMOM]

I was raped and my viginity was taken by someone I still had to hear about on a daily basis. I told people!! No one else seemed to take it serious. When I had finally dated for the first time, I was physically and mentally abused by my daughter's dad. I got the courage to leave and then I find out I'm pregnant.

He didnt want a child. He just left. It was over! I had 3 years of abuse free living. During those years I found love and was looking forward to our wedding, and my husband adopting my daughter. Then my abuser came back into my life. He was ready to be a father. So, we went to court and even with all of what I have told you, he got our daughter half the time. It makes me physically sick! Nothing had debilitated me until I had to co-parent.

True, I am not here talking about my why I qualify for PTSD. My trauma will emerge at some point, but I need help with this ongoing trigger. I struggle with dealing with him in my life. It feels like a life-sentence.

 

[Abstract]

Oneandonlymom,

Only share what you are ready to and when you are ready. It is fine to speak about anything at all that is of concern to you on here as well as things that are uplifting. The site is not just for detailed trauma discussions (thank god) and you were only asked because of the diagnostic issue.

I am sorry to hear that you are forced to have continued contact with your abuser through your child and that you are forced to expose her to him. I can only imagine what that feels like! I do suspect you will find many on here that relate too as I have heard similar stories.

I could see why a situation like that would set off all the trauma from before and be extremely difficult. I am sure you once again feel powerless and victimised by him.

I wonder if it would help to start a new thread about this and start afresh.

 

[oneandonlyMOM]

Thank you abstract for your continued support. It felt good to get all that off my chest.