Arrive Dierche

[femaleveteran]

You all have been good to me for the most part so I thought I would drop in and say bye. Am going on an extended vacation and probably will not be coming back here to post again.. Just a choice of mine. I choose to no longer deal with the PTSD and maybe that is how I choose to live with it you know. Anyway, thank you to all of you who have attempted to help out over the last months. It is appreciated.
Cheers

 

[Wagon]

I don't know. I can't say that I'm happy about a post like this. We all have our own problems and sometimes this sight can bring one down or even confuse a person. I can testify to that. I can also say I have not behaved the best on this site at times as well......most sites would have booted me long ago.

I must relate that I gave your way of handling PTSD a good shot. I started suspecting something was wrong about 12 years ago. I used to lie to myself and say maybe I have a "little" PTSD. Big mistake. About 10 years later I'm sitting on the top. Beautiful wife, lovely daughters. A job that pays well and was putting me in a place that would set me up for life AND I was hating every last moment of it. I had to drink at least 3 beers to get my attitude straight before I walked in the door at home. I smoked hash every night and still did not get to sleep until midnight. Then I would get up at five, get dressed again, smoke some hash and go to work. 5 days a week. At the end I wanted to get on a plane and leave absolutely everything, just the clothes on my back and head for Singapore... forever.

I think that's the dead end most PTSD sufferers hit when untreated. You're not dealing with your PTSD, but you cannot help but act it out. And act it out you will in your own particular manner.

Then again there is this site. I worked in the international charity industry for a little bit. And while I was there, I ran across 2 words which I mulled over for quite a awhile. GIVE and HELP. If one gives, one generally will have a feeling of loss or somewhere deep inside there is an expectation of receiving something back. When one helps, it is that the person has the capacity to help, without thought or effort. Nothing is lost, nothing is gained, there are no expectations of return on your efforts. It is a pure action with no thought of self.

If there is a lack of anything in this world, it is pure actions that help without expectations or ulterior motives. I have found allot of that on this site. Many people willing to help. Even though you would not expect them to have the capacity to help, nor should you. It happens anyway.

Good luck on your vacation. Take care and welcome back when that time comes.

 

[Redheaded Stranger]

femalevet,

Hope this time away works for you. I find that the ostrich head in the sand approach works well for me sometimes and I hope that it gets you through this.

Wagon,

If there is a lack of anything in this world, it is pure actions that help without expectations or ulterior motives. I have found allot of that on this site. Many people willing to help. Even though you would not expect them to have the capacity to help, nor should you. It happens anyway.

I find what you wrote above to be almost profound. Thanks for putting it so succinctly. My Veteran has a lot of trust issues and constantly put ulterior motives on me when I had none. Never understood it but couldn't do anything about it. I really appreciate the folks (both harpies and those with PTSD) on this site who are willing to open up and try to help us (both harpies and those with PTSD) understand the other side of the coin.

Red

 

[sisu]

I hope that you do come back after your vacation Dawn. Good luck to you ~ you will be in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[deborah l. boylan]

Hope this works for you! Take care and God Speed.

 

[Fargo1]

This makes me unhappy to hear, but we all have to follow our own path in life. I hope that this path works for you. If not, we will be here for you.

Courage!