I haven’t really said anything since military got merged into this site, but do want to provide a little feedback. I can be slammed for it, you can even delete this and ban me, I really don’t really care any more. We were atrained to defend our country, and our team, to the best of our abilities. We were also trained to kill if required, pure and simple. There is no grey zone. We signed that blank check, payable to our country, for any value up to and including our life. We signed it willingly. Would I have jumped on a grenade to save my buddies, yes. Would I have thrown a grenade, yes. Would I have pulled the trigger if needed, yes. However, I did not need to. My issues are from war. No amount of training can really prepare you for the actuality of it. I honestly believe my issues are more from the lack of support from non military, after the fact. We were trained to believe what we believe, then after, tossed aside like a dirty rag. We are looked down upon, and ignored, in most cases. I hid my issues for many years, even from myself, until my walls finally crashed. However, given the choice, would I change history, no. In fact, if called upon would I put my self in the same situation now, if needed, yes. If I had to jump on a grenade to protect my team (in the current time my family), I still would. If I had to pull the trigger to protect my team, I still would. Even though I have my issues, underneath, I still have my training, and as far as I am concerned, that check has still not been cashed. This is really what differentiates combat ptsd from other ptsd.