Attachment To Your Therapist: What Is It, Really?

[Deleted member 29920]

can't even get another dog after their's dies

or in my case, hamster - I don't cope well with saying goodbye.

 

[Tinyflame]

Me neither. ((((((((( @Cj77 )))))))))))) xox.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@Junebug :hug::hug::hug: Xoxo

 

[scout86]

My T once said, "I'll bet people think you're really cold blooded." And maybe I'm about to prove that.

I've had a lot of animals in my life, and, sooner or later, they die. I've lost some people I was pretty attached to the same way. I've come to believe that missing them in the end is the price I have to pay for all they bring to my life. I believe the good parts are worth the cost. I can imagine not seeing it that way, but it's hard to see what would make life worth living in that case.

 

[watundah]

Truth. Life is a series of gains and losses. The goal is to come out ahead, I suppose.

 

[Whyteferret]

@Cj77, that is exactly what went thru my mind 4 years ago when I started therapy......

@Cj77 @watundah

I think most therapists don't "abandon" clients. The process allows you to ease away as you heal. And the good therapists will let clients return if needed.

There are some exceptions though

 

[Whyteferret]

I have been thinkng. attachment can take many forms. Some attachment is needed for the process regarding of age

 

[Tinyflame]

@scout86 I don't think that's 'cold', probabaly 'normal'.

I don't know if attachment is the problem, but rather loss? Idk, maybe it goes back to childhood, perhaps something that can't be changed? Or personality/ nature, or- I'm not sure? Too much painfulness to make it worthwhile? I think feeling too deeply might be something a person is stuck with, too.

 

[X360pt]

@watundah, that's exactly the point I was trying to put across, it just hurts so much t...

Reading this hurts!

 

[X360pt]

@Cj77 @watundah

I think most therapists don't "abandon" cl...

I'm feeling confident that I will be able to work with the same T again no matter the feelings, attachments that have come about. I must learn to overcome this.

This is such a complex subject to discuss about.

 

[Whyteferret]

Is it abandonment if you're ready to leave though? I think the more the therapy is successful the less we need the therapist over time. It is re-parenting in that way. We the baby bird is ready to fly- find the skies. It's trickier if the therapist is no longer available for health, family, employment and other reasons. That's an abrupt ending.

 

[FauxLiz]

I know I have attachment issues my T and I have discussed that I didn't learn how to develop healthy relationships as a child and therefore I distrust everyone I meet and really have no one I call friends just people that I am "friendly with" as I have put it my entire life.

I do have contact with my T between sessions if necessary by email and text but I suppose I am also what one would consider an extra-ordinary patient. Due to the job I hold when I am in crisis I risk that job if I contact a local hotline or first responder as they work directly for me and as you can imagine no amount of privacy laws would be able to prevent that type of workplace gossip from potentially impacting my job. None of my traumas are first responder related but I certainly don't need my employees knowing when I am feeling suicidal or self harming. As a result my T and I have and maybe it is too attached an emergency crisis plan in place where I can reach out to him if I need too and he will try and talk me through it before the next step is necessary.

I trust him enough that I don't abuse this, I don't use the communication between sessions often usually I will get to a point where something has boiled up inside that I have to get out and I will type it up and email it to him, he sends a reply that we will discuss it at my next session and that is enough to get me through or we schedule an emergency session. It's not easy but right now it works for me and I know I am attached to him as I have most of my crisis' when we don't meet for longer than a 10 day period but I am working on it.