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Avoidance of being alone at home

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Justmehere

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I think this is an avoidance issue.

I’m struggling being in my apartment alone.

Well, I have my dog with me. My very old indoor cat is currently missing as of yesterday. But my avoidance of being in my place alone has been an issue the past few weeks.

It’s not a normal problem for me, but a new thing. Symptoms are surfacing while at home that are quite difficult and I don’t know why this is all coming up.

I’ve tried turning on the radio or podcasts to play in the background (don’t have or want TV.)

I have plenty of places to go and things to get done outside of my apartment, but I need to be at home and deal with stuff.

Any suggestions?
 
You say it is new? What else is new at present. What past stuff relating to what if new. Who and what do you associate home with. Do the symptoms surfacing point you in a direction. If you have an idea of these then it might help you think of something relevant to help you feel safe. Are you trying affirmations. It helps me to have the tv on which is obviously not helpful to your situation. It also helps me to be next to outside leading doors. Preferably with windows.
 
you dont sound too alarmed about the indoor cat.....if it is like my cats have always been, they come and go, pretty independent and much more self reliant than we think. I have seen my "house" cats as far as 3 miles away from home, fat and happy, only to return when they were ready. No house cats since my girls grew up, but outdoor ones that earn a living here and elsewhere, kind of a 4 legged migrant labor force.

When I am home alone I try to stay busy as much as possible, even if it is just reading (learning for my job) or doing upkeep on toys and the house and such. There is always something and once I get going, I can always remember a few more things I was going to do but was busy doing the other thing at the time I noticed it and thought 'thats next'. even when i just sit here at the screen, I have a hundred things I am going to check on next time I have time.

But it still sucks being home alone. Especially if you have fears. I am alone when my wife has to go help our daughter with grandkids and my fears concerning the dangers on the road and her being alone in a house she isn't used to come to the surface, I call and talk, and I stay busy. Being aware of the dangers and practically wrapping her in air bags in a car with sensors that help her stay aware of the dangers helps me, but i still have to hold back useless fear.

I guess thats my biggest contribution and suggestion, replace fear with preparedness, and stay busy.
 
What else is new at present. What past stuff relating to what if new. Who and what do you associate home with.
Oh. This is why. What you wrote suddenly made my struggle make sense.
What else is new at present. What past stuff relating to what if new. Who and what do you associate home with. Do the symptoms surfacing point you in a direction.

I've been trying to date, considering moving to a new city or state (like in a year from now), making other life changes... and it's all been stirring up how much I miss sense of family lately - which for me, is what I think my symptoms are about. I miss not just family, but the familiar - deeply familiar relationships. I have had very good move away (or one friends passed away) recently. This whole dating thing too... sigh. It's just stirred up so much. I want to be home. Really at home with someone.
Are you trying affirmations.
No, but this is a good idea! I tried some positive affirmations around home this morning, and it made it easier for a bit. Got the laundry done and the kitchen and bathroom cleaned up well at least.
you dont sound too alarmed about the indoor cat.....
She's old enough, that I am a bit worried she's crawled into some corner or hiding space and died. :/ But I won't quite worry about that until she's missed a few more mealtimes. Cats tend to have a mind of their own. I did miss her typical 6am MEOW wake up call this morning. It was quieter without her little self around sweetly pestering me for breakfast.
When I am home alone I try to stay busy as much as possible, even if it is just reading (learning for my job) or doing upkeep on toys and the house and such.
This is helpful. And I have much to do!
 
Glad you found some clarity with @Abstract ’s post.

If you’re after some suggestions of how to keep yourself in your apartment...what distractions can you find for yourself that will physically have you stay in there but will keep you occupied enough that you may not get caught in such anxiety?

Cleaning is always a good one for me. Something that requires some concentration and effort...maybe not the nicest job but perhaps something you don’t do so often but when you do it it feels really worthwhile because you can really notice the difference. Mine would be cleaning the oven. Or cleaning tile grouting. A bit of focus, a bit of effort...so worth it! :)

Really hope your cat comes home >^..^<
 
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