Avoiding reality or just being realistic?

[EveHarrington]

sure I don't want the label, let's face it no one does!

I see you are unaware of the TikTok LARPers who claim to have mental illnesses as a form of validation… Really, it’s maddening more than anything, if only because they can’t even fake it right, but I digress…. (TikTok is a time sucking hell hole, I don’t recommend it to anyone.) There are many young people who fake mental illnesses, they actually WANT the diagnosis (but let’s be real, if they had the symptoms to go along with it, they’d pull a u-turn really fast). PTSD, autism, DID, you name it…

Edit. I’ve always said that those who actively want a disorder don’t actually have it, as those of us who have it wouldn’t wish it on our worst enemies. Having a name to go with the struggle is good in that it enables you to narrow down treatment options.

 

[Midnightmoon]

Could you expand on this a bit? Do you mean things like proper treatment?

My avoidance is making life very challenging, I can't access basic stuff and my triggers seem to be constantly adding without realising until you're slap bang in a flashback that you didn't anticipate.

Real truth is we hide early life trauma mostly because "we have always been that way." Painful memories are buried and paved over with some guy standing there saying "move along, nothing to see here."

It's the ultimate tell in whats going on - the giant mindf%$k of those memories that hurt so bad we try to bury them even deeper and at the same time they are screaming to be heard.

You've hit the nail on the head, that belief that it can't possibly be anything else other than just the way you are. I have so few memories, it's like I'm trying to piece together someone else's jigsaw puzzle, without a picture.

 

[Freddyt]

You've hit the nail on the head, that belief that it can't possibly be anything else other than just the way you are. I have so few memories, it's like I'm trying to piece together someone else's jigsaw puzzle, without a picture.

Yeah, I thought I was doing the same, but the memories were there. Therapy helped pry them loose. Not wonderful but until you make that unknown known - it will direct your life, and not in a good way.

 

[No More]

If you were formally diagnosed though, would you accept it?

In what way does the lack of diagnosis prevent you in particular from accessing the correct care? If you can accept that it was trauma, and you feel you fit the criteria for ptsd, then seek out the appropriate therapist. Perhaps it’s due to location but am I missing a trick in regards to insurance or something?

 

[Friday]

Anyone had similar? How do you work out if you're just being realistic with yourself or if your avoiding something that might be there?

Reality check with people I trust.

Here’s an example…

I grew up military and moved around all the time. Rough estimate?
- 9:10 military families? Make moving both fun & normal.
- 1:10 military families? Make moving miserable and horrible.

Neither group is inherently abusive, although both groups will have a subsection that is also abusive. (Because abusive families can & do fun/normal things right alongside with f*cked up abuive shit; and people who make a thing miserable and horrible? Can simply be going through a hard thing, the best they can, taking great care to never cross a line they’d never think of crossing. They’re just not suited, personality-wise, for the lifestyle).

All 4 groups? Will have very lasting effects on people’s lives.

Is there any reason to avoid looking at the effects?

Nope.

BUT? The outright refusal to either look at the effects, or even admit that there are effects? Hints very strongly that there’s something else going on.

Maybe it’s abuse.

Maybe it’s something entirely different.

But it’s something.

^^^ Reality checking with people I trust? Means talking about it with people who understand the life. Personally &/or professionally. Someone whose reaction to moving all the time is “OMG that must have been so HARD for you!” Is not someone who understands the normalcy or the upsides, or how one might think being stuck in one place is horrifying & hard. Of course there are hard things in moving all the time, just like there are hard things in being trapped in one location (see what I did there? That’s my bias. Most people find comfort in their normal, and recoil at other peoples… whilst some romanticize/idealize others normal.) Even talking with people with clear bias CAN help clarify my own thoughts/feelings, but that’s nowhere near as useful (and often more harmful than not) than talkin with people who grok the nuance.

 

[Mrm]

As far as wondering what's real and what's important I have found this helpful.

I've found a six year old me trying to figure out 3 year trauma was kids games. 10 year old me figuring out 6 year trauma was dealing with kid stuff.....

These assumptions I made as a juvenile have stuck with me as fact since then.

For me I made "decisions" on what was normal and What I could move past.

A memory from a 6 year old about how we felt when we were 3 is the easiest memory to access and accept.

 

[oops!]

"It feels like I am being dramatic or just moaning."

I have found this helpful for myself.

I have found when I tell a story of a 3 year old me I tell it from a perspective of a 6 year old who has processed and moved on. A six year old story could be told by how a 10 year old processed it.

Each "story" of me had been processed by a being dealing with new trauma. They were normalized and filed where they needed to be.

It was/is very hard for me to admit that maybe my initial conclusions at a young age were inaccurate. Those conclusions have "helped" me get to this point in life.

It's not easy at all but finding a different view can help you feel less "dramatic".

"It feels like I am being dramatic or just moaning."

I have found this helpful for myself.

I have found when I tell a story of a 3 year old me I tell it from a perspective of a 6 year old who has processed and moved on. A six year old story could be told by how a 10 year old processed it.

Each "story" of me had been processed by a being dealing with new trauma. They were normalized and filed where they needed to be.

It was/is very hard for me to admit that maybe my initial conclusions at a young age were inaccurate. Those conclusions have "helped" me get to this point in life.

It's not easy at all but finding a different view can help you feel less "dramatic".

There is a lag in post time. I registered and posted 2. There is a reason I chose oops.